MetaChat - What the fuck am I going to do?

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11 May 2006

What the fuck am I going to do? →[More:]I am entered in this (5K, men 40-49), which is tommorrow, I have done no training whatsoever and have not done any amount of running for about 5 years.

I suspect that, by this time tommorrow, I will be on a slab, having collapsed with a heart attack.

Will you miss me?

post by: dg at: 22:15 | 21 comments

Run slowly. And try to dream about running, you know - prep your muscles...

posted by gaspode 11 May | 22:18

sure. I'll drink to you.

I would've drank anyway but at least now, there'll be a point.

posted by jonmc 11 May | 22:19

Bummer dude. I'll light a candle amd join jon in a toast to you.

posted by arse_hat 11 May | 22:20

I would just tell you not to do it. You already paid the money right? I suppose there's some kind of charity involved? They got the money, that's good enough. It's pretty dangerous to your health to just jump into something like this.

posted by puke & cry 11 May | 22:21

Walk, don't run?

posted by loquacious 11 May | 22:21

Oh and I'll drink to you also. Cheers

posted by puke & cry 11 May | 22:21

Promise the dog a steak the size of a dinnerplate in exchange for chewing up your running shoes tonight.

posted by Triode 11 May | 22:22

Oh, I'll raise a glass when you're laid out too.

/went for a 5K run just this evening

/obnoxious

posted by gaspode 11 May | 22:23

puke & cry, it's worse than that - I am part of a workplace-based team, so I can't just not go.

I will just have to pace myself at a speed I know I can sustain for the distance - it's not that far, after all.

posted by dg 11 May | 22:26

yikes. Well, good luck with all that. I'm pretty sure I would die if I tried what you're doing.

posted by puke & cry 11 May | 22:28

5K isn't that bad. Be sure to stretch out first, and warm up some. Other than that, have fun.

posted by eekacat 11 May | 22:39

Hell, I was going to be drinking anyway. Good to know there's a point to be had!

Seriously, be careful - it's a good cause, and a good thing for you to be doing (for yourself) anyway. Just don't overdo it.

But no, when all is said and done I wouldn't miss you all that much at all.

Oh shit, did I say that? I thought I just thought it, without really typing it.

posted by yhbc 11 May | 22:53

Have you considered hiring a ringer?

Failing that, do you have any subordinates who depend on you for their future economic well-being?

If you do run yourself, wear a funny hat. If you wear a funny hat, the crowd will expect you to run slow.

posted by Absit Invidia 11 May | 23:13

Now there's a thought - I have to have a "conversation" with one of my team members this afternoon about his performance - maybe I can offer him an alternative way to meet performance standards. On second thoughts, he weighs about 200kg and struggles to walk from the lift to his desk, so maybe not.

posted by dg 11 May | 23:19

There was that woman that time that took a cab to the finish line and was declared the winner of the Boston Marathon till she was later found out. You could do that, except for the getting found out part.

posted by dobbs 11 May | 23:28

They'd probably suspect something was up if he started in Brisbane and finished in Boston.

posted by nomis 11 May | 23:34

I'm really gonna miss the 200kg guy.

posted by Absit Invidia 12 May | 00:31

I suggest running naked - then no one will noticed your subpar performance. And don't forget the photographs.

Good luck, really. Hydrate!

posted by iconomy 12 May | 04:50

Is it downhill? Because you could just lie on your side and roll.

posted by Hugh Janus 12 May | 08:04

Run around the corner, take a cab, stop for beer, hop out before the last drinks station, dump a cup of water over your head, sauter to Victory! BEST RACE EVER!

posted by bonehead 12 May | 08:34

Just walk, or alternatively, run for as long as you can, then walk until you've recovered, then run again. 5K isn't that far - only about an hour's brisk walk. It'll be a bit embarrassing to come in dead last after everyone else is gone, but winding up naked and toe tagged on a slab would be worse.

posted by Orange Swan 12 May | 10:07

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