MetaChat - Tell me about the songs you make up

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11 May 2006

Tell me about the songs you make up →[More:]Hugh's thread about school songs got me thinking about all the songs I've rewritten words to over the years. I secretly think I'd be a great funny songwriter. When I was in the 4th grade, I rewrote "Master of the House" from Les Mis to be about Newt Gingrich and his lesbian sister- "Speaker of the House". Oh, it was great. I wish I had written down all the lyrics, though I still remember some- "I used to dream my brother was prince, but G-d almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Speaker of the House, isn't worth my spit, "comforter, philosopher" TOTAL homophobic".

And then of course, there's all the songs I rewrite now to include my dog's name. I could probably fill an album- Twinkie rhymes with a lot of things.

post by: ThePinkSuperhero at: 11:25 | 34 comments

Oh! And the OJ song we wrote! That was 6th grade, I think.

Yesterday, all the trials seemed so far away
Now it looks as though it's here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 11:29

It was more elaborate than that- I just can't remember any of the real clever lyrics we wrote.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 11:30

I often replace the word "Now" in take a look at me now, with names or objects, thus I might sing to the copy machine "Take a look at me Xerox."

posted by Divine_Wino 11 May | 11:31

I make up songs about my cats to sing to them. Usually based on other songs with the cat's name thrown in, but once for my cat Emily I made up a song that went "EmmyEmmyEmmyEmmyEmmyEmmyEmmy" with a really nice tune. She seemed to like it.

posted by JanetLand 11 May | 11:36

Ahem

posted by essexjan 11 May | 11:37

My family sat around one Christmas and completely rewrote "Here we go a-wassailing" to "Here we go a-waddling"

Here we go a-waddling
Among the slime so green
Here we go a-wandring
So needing to be clean
Mud and mold cling to you
To your ears and eyeballs too
And mom scrubs you and scolds you and wishes you were clean
And mom scrubs you and wishes you were clean.

Your teeth fall out and from your snout
There runs a slimy green
Your head's in pain, your arms go lame
You wish you had been clean
Now you turn into a frog
Jump around upon a log
And bugs bite you and sting you and tickle you inside
And bugs sting you and tickle you inside.

And then there are a plethora of songs to accompany things like chopping tomatoes and whatnot. But those have no real concrete lyrics.

posted by Fuzzbean 11 May | 11:37

Oh, when I was in high school we got tired of singing The Hallelujah Chorus and made up a version that went:

Oh, Your Mama!
Oh, Your Mama!
Your Daddy, Your Grandpa, Your Cousin Bertha!

posted by JanetLand 11 May | 11:38

::claps hand::

I'm in love with this thread already.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 11:41

I put words to the William Tell overture.

Motherfuck Motherfuck
Motherfuckfuckfuck
Motherfuck Motherfuck
Motherfuckfuckfuck
Motherfuck Motherfuck
Motherfuckfuckfuck
Mother FUUUUUCK
Motherfuckfuckfuck

posted by sciurus 11 May | 11:44

I feel odd for never even considering rewording songs.

posted by puke & cry 11 May | 11:52

My parents wrote a lot of songs together when I was little, before my mom succumbed to crippling depression and stopped doing anything fun. There was one about my teddy bear, and one about the Watergate hearings that I'm sure was utterly brilliant, but I was too young to understand and the lyrics have been lost to time. I'm not going to tell you the lyrics to the one about the teddy bear, because it's too embarrassing.

The songs I write are generally mini-operettas containing whatever it is I want to say to my cat at the moment, such as that they are very fuzzy.

posted by matildaben 11 May | 11:53

There are so many! And I can't remember a damn one of them. This is why one should always have a mini recorder on one's person. To capture brilliant but fleeting moments like this! And to record the weird sound my dog makes when you rub her butt with your foot.

posted by LeeJay 11 May | 11:54

matildaben, one of the songs I make up for Twinkie is the rap song "Freak-A-Leek", where I sing, "TWINKIE (LASTNAME) IS A FREAK-A-LEEK! How you like it, Twinkie, how you like it- TWINKIE (LASTNAME) IS A FREAK-A-LEEK!"

Now that I've shared one of my embarassing songs, please share the teddy bear song.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 11:55

My words to William Tell. Kid's absolutely LOVE this, especially if dad (or grandpa) is bald.

Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Just liiiiiike a ping-pong ball.

(middle section goes like this)
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a pii-iing pong ball
Pop's got a head like a pii-iing pong ball

Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Pop's got a head like a ping-pong ball
Just liiiiiike a ping-pong ball.

posted by essexjan 11 May | 12:04

Aaaarh. "Kid's"

*hangs head in shame at inexcusable grammatical error*

posted by essexjan 11 May | 12:06

My freind Leslie liked to dirty versions of popular songs. Her rewrite of Metallica's "Battery," was quite enervating.

posted by jonmc 11 May | 12:06

I wrote this song paraody the other day to the tune of AC/DC's "Sink the Pink" and anyway it was about this girl on this site I read and it was really vulgar and disgusting and... oh.. er, I don't write parodies.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 11 May | 12:08

One of my friends back home has a lisp and unintentionally ruined "The Heart of Worship" (christian worship song) for us by singing, "I'll bring you more than a thong, for a thong in itself is not what you have required." I could never keep a straight face through that song after that! So we rewrote it, drawing on our knowledge of the seat of the emotions, eventually ending up with:

I'm coming back to the bowels of worship
And it's all about poo
It's all about poo, Jebus
I'm sorry George for the shoes I'm wearing
But it's all about poo
It's all about poo, Jebus

I've rewritten many worship songs for my own ends. In high school, people sang my name to various tunes a lot, most often to the Pepper Ann theme song. My favourite though was when my best friend and her sisters called me and sang a four-part version of Spiderman to my name (Heather Ann, Heather Ann, does whatever a Heather can) complete with the bassline sung to my name, and the trumpet parts as well.

Oh, and remember Eiffel 65's Blue (Da Ba De) song? A friend of mine always sang the da ba de part as "I'm blue, if I was green I would die, if I was green I would die, if I was green I would die."

posted by heatherann 11 May | 12:10

"Sink the Pink".....it was about this girl on this site I read

?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 12:11

I sing a song to the cats, Bailey and Lucy, to the tune of "Waterloo Sunset". The words change according to what they've been doing that day but it's mostly

Bailey and Lucy
Asleep on the sofa
Eating Hill's Science Food
Stretching and yawning
Mewing and purring
Safe from the nasty dogs.

Every day they look at the world from my window
Going out at evening time
Bailey and Lucy's fine

posted by essexjan 11 May | 12:12

I was making a joke Pinky, apparently it didn't work. =P

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 11 May | 12:18

Oh! I forgot about the teeny weeny little potatoes song!

We (me and my sibs) were shopping with my mother around New Year's. So of course she was buying the traditional foods, which included new potatoes. And somebody said something about teeny weeny little potatoes.

So I made up a song. And we sang it all through the store. Even through the checkout line. Mom couldn't stop laughing.

It was a two part harmony, in the style of a Catholic litany. The first part was very simple (my sibs sang that). It went "Teeny weeny little po-taaaayayay-toes. Teeny weeny little po-taaaayayay-toes." Repeat ad infinitum.

And then I had the top part, which wandered all around and was mostly made up on the spot. It consisted of lines like, "Riiiippped un-TIME-ly from the womb of mother earth. Smaaall, and utterly defenseless little potayayaytoes. Stolen from the warm embrace of the soil. Unable to grow to their full potential as potayayaytoes..."etc. There was lots more that I don't remember now.

I taught it to a high school classmate and we sang it to one of our teachers who HATED potatoes so she would fuss about how horrible potatoes were. She was a good sport.

posted by Fuzzbean 11 May | 12:20

I have no sense of humor. I am very unfunny.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 12:20

Two girls I mentored with the Big Sister program and I made up a song, to the tune of "The Farmer and the Dell" called "The Torture and the Pain". We could sing it endlessly, because you could always make up a new verse by calling out any two words, usually opposites, but not necessarily- "The dog and the cat!" Then the other two of us would chime in- "THE DOG AND THE CAT, HI HO THE DERRY OH, THE DOG AND THE CAT!" (This was usually done while driving around in my shitty red Dodge Neon with the dented trunk from that time I got rearended- snow leaked in and melted and went down to the feet resting place in the backseat, until I had my own little lake on wheels)

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 May | 12:24

In 7th grade we went on a field trip to Washington. A group of us made up the following song while at Arlington:

It's a beautiful day in the cemetery
A beautiful day to see John F Kennedy
Will you come with me?
Will you come with me?

You will see the eternal flame burning there
Try not to set fire to your hair
Will you come with me?
Will you come with me?

I have always wanted to visit
Yes it's true
I have always wanted to visit Washington DC
With you, so...

Let's walk 10,000 miles a day
Waste all our film and throw money away

Please won't you come
Please won't you come
Come with me to the cemetery?

(The last "cemetery" got a lovely British pronunciation to rhyme with "me".)

The teachers heard us singing it and made us sing it for the principal, who wasn't all that amused.

And as I mentioned the other day in IRC, when I got into my first car accident, a minor fender-bender, I had the misfortune of having half the drama club in the car with me, who all proceeded to put on their best Patsy Cline accents for a rousing rendition of "Crazy! Crazy for driving with [occhiblu]!" I still sometimes get that stuck in my head.

posted by occhiblu 11 May | 12:42

I do this frequently. Sadly, I don't seem to be able to recall very many.

I know we sang a mash up of It's Now or Never & O Solo Mio for Sophie. It wasn't very imaginitive though:
Oh Sophie May-a
Come hold me tight
Hug me my darling, etc.
The first time a tiny little 18 month old voice answered "Ho-mee-tye" after I sang "Oh Sophie May-a" was pretty magical.

Also, in high school, my friends and I would insert the word Mom into many songs. The one I came up with that I can remember went:
"In my mom's room, with pretty curtains, and a valance" sung to the tune of "In the white room, with black curtains, near the station" (which is Cream's White Room btw.) I can't recall any others really, which is too bad, because my best friend Nev had a wicked one based on an 80's song that I can't recall enough of to google. Oh, there was also a vulgar, teenaged boy version of the first line of New Order's Love Vigilantes which rhymed (cringes) cum with bum. I am too ashamed to say more!

posted by richat 11 May | 12:43

My song parody career peaked with this one, for a thread at the Television Without Pity forums - circa the first season of 24 (there's several in-jokes and TWOP specific nicknames):
It's the Start of Jack's Day as We Know It
-To the tune of: It’s the end of the World as We Know it - REM.

That's right, it starts right at midnight,
Spawn and bride,
an aeroplane, that Mandy girl is not afraid.
Glimpse of a press pass, cycle rides away fast
Terror serves its own needs, Spawn rolls her own weed.
Going out the window, slut, ho, tease,
Bauer'd never cower with fear fright, highlights.
Mandy being handy, representing terror games,
a sharpshooter for hire and a compound site.

With no rest and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down his neck.
Team of CTU agents baffled, trumped, snarky spiced.
Look at that low neckline! Fine, then.
Uh oh, campaign goal, pre-election, common staff, but it'll do.
Save yourself, serve yourself.
Lady serves her own needs, listen to your phone beep
dumbass with the crowbar and the girlfriend in the head lights.
You vitriolic, smack-a-holic, slam, fight,
bright light, feeling pretty high.

It's the start of Jack's day as we know it.
It's the start of Jacks day as we know it.
It's the start of Jack's day as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - Jack Bauer. Don't get caught without a shower.
Drive and run, no fun, listen to your earphone.
Taken in, clock ticking, car-jacking, cuff cutting.
Terror motive escalate. Automotive blockade.
Make a phone call.Trace a phone call. Step down, get down.
Watch for cops, drop, hide, uh-oh,
this means no time to talk to bride.
Another car to hot wire!
A terrormole, terrormole, a terrormole who lies!
Offer her solutions, offer her immunity and she declines.

It's the start of Jack's day as we know it.
It's the start of Jacks day as we know it.
It's the start of Jack's day as we know it and I feel fine.

The limo driver's cool shades, Rolled up towel and head games.
Cofell dead in the back, Nina catch her own flak.
Albert-a Green, cool Soul Patch and dead She-Bangs.
Terror minion, cell phone, Halo knife! Bang Bang!
Jack's so hypnotic, near psychotic, slam Faux York, right? Right.

It's the start of Jack's day as we know it.
It's the start of Jacks day as we know it.
It's the start of Jack's day as we know it and I feel fine.
I feel fine
(It's time I had a bathroom break)

posted by krix 11 May | 12:50

holy man krix! That's impressive.

posted by richat 11 May | 12:54

I wish so much you could hear the tune of this jingle my friend Jon wrote one day in the supermarket:

Baby bok choy!
Oh what a wonderful world it is
with
baby bok choy!
Oh what a wonderful life it is!

You put it in your stir fry and
eat it all night!
You put a little hoisan on it
but
not too much!

Just a little bit a

Baby bok choy!
Oh what a wonderful world is it...

(ad. infinitum.)

Sorry, pup.

posted by Specklet 11 May | 12:56

Grrrrrrr.

Just for you, Speck, even though I didn't make it up myself:

The hills are alive
With the Sound of Music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears

(Though, to be fair, I'll more likely have the "I'm a Little Specklet" song stuck in my head today, not the Bok Choy song. Uh, yeah...)

posted by mudpuppie 11 May | 13:02

Oh, the hills are alive
with the sound of mucus!

I love that song!

posted by mygothlaundry 11 May | 13:28

/me goes fetal.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 11 May | 13:30

thanks richat!

posted by krix 11 May | 13:47

I learned the truth at seventeen
A girl must keep her privates clean

OK I did not make that up, but it's always stuck with me. . .

posted by danf 11 May | 15:35

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