MetaChat - Why can't I write when ... single? WTF?

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10 May 2006

Why can't I write when ... single? WTF? →[More:]

So, what's up with that? If I'm dating or smitten or infatuated or in lust I can write like a demon every day. When I'm single with no prospects... zip.

I should point out that I'm not unhappy or depressed or anything--just single! So, what's the deal? Is this the situation with anyone else? How do you deal with it?

post by: dobbs at: 10:41 | 17 comments

Actually, I write best when I'm angsty. A decade of married contentment has effectively killed my muse.

posted by jrossi4r 10 May | 10:47

Yeah, I'm with jrossi. Angst=prolific.

posted by YouCanCallMeAl 10 May | 10:57

i could use a muse

posted by ethylene 10 May | 11:00

muse.

posted by arse_hat 10 May | 11:03

Hmm. I'm the opposite - I get less done when dating someone because I find it distracting.

Perhaps you need strong emotions as a catalyst. Maybe when single you could try some really intense fantasizing and, er, self-love.

posted by Orange Swan 10 May | 11:10

I just wish I could get my writing-mojo back, period, single or not.

I will admit that I did my most poetry writing after my first love collapsed. I've never been as prolific since.

posted by TrishaLynn 10 May | 11:15

Well, you have a unique opportunity to tell the next sweet young thing you meet: "Do me, baby. For Art's sake!"

posted by jonmc 10 May | 11:21

Art? Who's Art? Is he cute/single/a geek?

posted by TrishaLynn 10 May | 11:29

Um, yeah, he hangs at the museum.

posted by jonmc 10 May | 11:30

So, what's up with that? If I'm dating or smitten or infatuated or in lust I can write like a demon every day.

I haven't read a lot of it I'm afraid, but doesn't your work tend to be laregely about sex/love/relationships? Maybe you need the authenticity of current experience to draw upon?

posted by PinkStainlessTail 10 May | 12:05

PST, yeah, at least for the stuff I share online. I write other stuff, too, which isn't, though. It dries up, too.

The muse thing... I dunno, never thought of it that way as I never share it with the person and often they don't even know I write. And it doesn't have to be a particular person.

Very frustrating.

posted by dobbs 10 May | 12:57

it's easier to do things for other people
even if they don't know it

i've been so uninspired it may be time to do something drastic

posted by ethylene 10 May | 13:04

Eth!!! It's been a while lady! How are ya?

posted by SassHat 10 May | 13:17

hey sassy.
i'm in need of a motivating infatuation to impel me towards a general betterment.
you?

posted by ethylene 10 May | 13:28

I would guess Dobbs that you've trained yourself to only write when you're not single. I don't buy all this stuff about a muse. Unless the muse is a person you need to show off to (I'm of the opinion that like me, all other writers are inveterate show-offs.)

Another alternative may be that a single Dobbs needs more social contact and as a result spends more of those writing minutes and brain cells communicating with people.

If it's important, then you just need to get on the wagon and force yourself to write. Get the to a place that provides writing exercises and start grinding your way through them.

posted by seanyboy 10 May | 17:21

i don't think it has to do with showing off or the sex (unless you have some pent up energy that needs tapping). i think it has to do with being entranced or inspired with something. Actual other people can be a huge interference, especially when they won't let you get on with it, but then they can be really good for making you stop working when you really should stop.

Face it, people can be really annoying when you are trying to get something done, but they do force you to portion up your time.
As for the actual sex...
...well, i bet i don't get anything more interesting done anytime soon.

posted by ethylene 10 May | 18:22

god, i really need a fascination.
or food.

posted by ethylene 10 May | 18:30

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