MetaChat - hospitalz

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10 May 2006

hospitalz Since when do hospital waiting rooms have access to the internets?→[More:]Since now, I guess. My mom's having surgery today, and though I'm a selfish little fuck for feeling this way, I'm bored bored bored. Besides stealing medicine and looking at sick folk, what should I do to amuse myself?

post by: item at: 13:34 | 13 comments

Pinch nurses bottoms. They love that. Fake a heart attack. Ask random doctors if they have any drugs. Steal an IV and fill it with gin and sit and sip.

(oh. hope your mom's surgery goes well)

posted by jonmc 10 May | 13:37

That's really great, don't you think? It can be so boring and anxious in a waiting room and have a TV tuned to some stupid show only makes it worse.

My best to your mom.

posted by kmellis 10 May | 13:40

jon, this isn't MASH. There's cops here.

And they won't give me any drugs. I already asked (and the medicine closet's locked - I checked).

posted by item 10 May | 13:41

jon, this isn't MASH. There's cops here.

Ok. Ask the cops if they have any drugs. Or maybe put on a bathrobe and shuffle around talking to your invisible friend who tells you to tickle the pope.

posted by jonmc 10 May | 13:43

Ask someone to give you an enema. Preferably a nurse.

[yeah, and good luck to your mum. I emphathise]

posted by essexjan 10 May | 13:44

Ask someone to give you an enema. Preferably a nurse.

or a prostate check.

posted by jonmc 10 May | 13:45

jon, this isn't MASH. There's cops here.

So, is your mum, like, manacled to the bed or something? What did she do?

posted by essexjan 10 May | 13:45

heh!

Just go for a walk or three. Your mom isn't going to know you extended the scope of your vigil.

You bet there's cops.

posted by reflecked 10 May | 13:55

item, I hope everything goes well for your mom.

posted by LeeJay 10 May | 14:11

Put a glob of Elmer's in your hand and walk around asking where the sperm bank deposit is?

And good luck to your momma!

posted by fenriq 10 May | 14:12

get a bunch of gauze and bandaids and those sticks and anything else in the drawers and cabinets.
use them to make puppets and to entertain your mom.
apparently most of the proctology supplies can become slide whistles.

posted by ethylene 10 May | 14:22

fenriq, did i miss the baby removal?

posted by ethylene 10 May | 14:24

ma's okay. had some odd tissue removed from somewhere on her torso.

i entertained myself by getting to go home a lot sooner than expected.

posted by item 10 May | 21:18

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