What did a ninja ever do to me?

I was in the grocery store the other day and this Soccer Mom Ninja (they're the worst!) cut in front of me in line. She had a big honking shopping cart full of Capri Sun and turkey hot dogs and frozen vegetables and sugary fruit treats and other packaged atrocities loaded with high fructose corn syrup, which she was buying for the sole purpose of making her feel like a good mom. All I had in my hand was a six-pack. And she cut. (She drove a Lexus SUV and wore a pink visor, which would have made me hate on her even if she hadn't cut in front of me.)

Stupid Soccer Mom Ninja. That's what a ninja ever did to me.

I thought the line, "and when you're certain you've completely painted the pigeon" was pretty funny.