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27 April 2006
You're a rockstar. You have all the money and all the power. There's nothing, nothing to put the breaks on your wierdness. What do you do?
Me, I think I'd build a home in the clouds. A series of rooms, suspended from giant blimps. Not like bachelor apartments either. I'm talking grand ballrooms and dining halls here.
Have an awesomely huge loft apartment, but only keep 1/4th of it furnished. The rest will be wide open- so when I throw a ball for my dog, it takes her several minutes to retrieve it and come back to me.
I would put in large Lollapalooza-type rock festivals, but I'd make them "In the round" and I'd make the stage from a large block of ice, which would have heaters embedded in it to make it melt during the performance.
Then I would spend lots of time talking about global catastrophic climate change in between sets.
Y'know, for the kids.
I'd also sponsor a revival of indoor bicycle racing by building banked velodromes.
I'd buy an oil tanker and make it into a tricked out place to live. Stage for concerts, swimming pool, art gallery, bunny farm--y'know, the essentials.
i'd build some vaccum tunnels right through the Earth, linking up all my fabulous homes and apartments all over the world (like the Logan's Run tubes) : >
And i'd hire people to overthrow assholish governments too.
Fly the entire population of The Bronx to this place (if there is a Yankee game at the time, both teams and everyone in the Stadium will need to get on the planes also) and having had contructed a mammoth floating concert venue, cast off from shore, with everyone on board, and let the currents take all of us where they will.
I'd get some crazy beach house in a shaggy tropical town, and run it as an open house/retreat center/art colony with lots of coming and going. Creative souls needing replenishment, and weary souls needing peace, would be welcome. Every day I'd trundle into town in my woodie wagon with anyone who wants to take a ride. Get the groceries, pass the time.
We'd do something interesting with the kids in the local schools. I don't know what, yet. But it would be nice to put them all through college and such.
Beach campfires at night, and jam sessions on the veranda by citronella-candle light.
Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter: Good point.
I will have both of those things, fenriq, although the trampoline obstacle course would appear and disappear through the floor with the push of a button. I just have to make sure the dog doesn't accidentally get sucked into the floor.
I'd have a beach house in Amagansett and an apartment in the city. The former would have a 50m outdoor pool and the latter a 25m indoor one. They'd also have libraries. This is why I am not a rock star.
Oooo I'd want my big loft to be right near dame's apartment so I could go over all the time and swim in her pool :-D I promise to wear a bathing cap! I still have one from that last time I went to the gym.
A house made of aquariums. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, even some of the furniture - all aquariums. With lots of bubbles and squid and skates and stuff and tide pools with horseshoe crabs and turtles: a million of turtles. And in the middle, vaguely seen through the aquariums (which naturally light up pink and green and blue at night in huge neon loops:) me, hanging out, doing something dull like reading.
MGL: I will have nightmares about that forever. Actually, there is some ad on the train for some vacation destination that shows people riding innertubes through a waterslide/aquarium thing and all I can ever think is: CLAUSTRAPHOBIA ACK ACK ACK. That makes me feel the same way.
And yeah, Superhero, you can totally come over. But you have to wear a cap and goggles and learn to swim all the strokes.
How about 7 chicks at 3 ft? Or one at 6' and 2 at 4'? For a little variety?
Really though, I'd like an underground base (with missiles and large digging machines), an underwater base (submarines disguised as sharks, stuff like that), and most importantly...... a space station. A big one. With rockets and hydroponics and space babes. And a -laser-.
I'd thought about a volcano 'surrounded by liquid hot mag-ma', but that's just inviting disaster.
Treehouse mansion. Seriously. Big mansion made up where each room is a treehouse and I have to go from room to room via rope bridges. But it'd have all the amenities - bathroom, electricity, broadband, that kind of thing. But in TREES.
I have this little fantasy about winning a squizillion dollars and organizing a HUGE Mecha/Mefi meetup where I essentially pay for every single member to come and hang out in, I dunno, a stadium or something and we all get drunk and sing songs and fight. And then we bring out the trained five year olds and see how many we can take out before we succumb to their sticky-fingered wrath.
Or I'd build the world's largest zero-gravity chamber and stay in it all day every day until my organs liquify.
Wait, is there even such a thing as a zero-gravity chamber? Or has Revenge of the Nerds II lied to me yet again?
Man, i'd SO MOVE IN WITH MIKO. But not after travelling the world, learning a million different instruments, having a slender volume of poetry out, and go through my fatty/beardy phase while Miko and I disappeared down the beach in huaraches and linen suits talking about our record label and the legacy of Joni, Emmylou, Paul and Artie.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
