MetaChat - Let's go do some crimes

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21 April 2006

Let's go do some crimes What crimes ~~have you~~ has your imaginary friend gotten away with? Please dispose of any evidence (e.g., dead hooker in car trunk) before posting. Thanks.

post by: trondant at: 14:49 | 18 comments

Given that I spent part of a night in jail for unpaid dog tickets (they actually came and got me), I'll think long hand hard before my next crime spree.

posted by danf 21 April | 14:53

I have long since thought that it shouldn't be that hard to rob a bank. Nothing's come of it though.

posted by richat 21 April | 14:55

That's got to be the fastest fucking dog in the world. I could never get ours above 20 MPH even with Roman candles stuck in her butt and rollerskates on her paws.

posted by trondant 21 April | 14:56

The Elgin Marbles would look nice out by the pool.

posted by StickyCarpet 21 April | 15:06

posession of a controlled substance, weapons possession, DUI, disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, possession of drug parephenalia, petty theft and illegal square dance calling.

posted by jonmc 21 April | 15:08

Manslaughter. It isn't like anyone would have missed that transient anyway. Hell, she probably would have frozen to death over the winter.

posted by porpoise 21 April | 15:14

I would put on a dress and pose for Richard Avedon and no one would be the wiser. . .

posted by danf 21 April | 15:18

OK, I'll cop to cilantro smuggling.

posted by trondant 21 April | 15:30

I'll bet I hold the record around here for number of times in the back of a police car (many) vs. number of times arrested (0.)

I'll be giving a workshop on Talking Your Way Out Of It. And be prepared to cry on demand.

posted by StickyCarpet 21 April | 15:35

"Oh no, officer, I had no idea you were supposed to renew your license plate and registration or that you had to have insurance!" Weeps, weeps. "Stolen plates, you say? Oh no, how could that be? My husband just left me and he handled all that stuff" Baby cries, good baby. "I just don't know what to doooooo!"

posted by mygothlaundry 21 April | 15:53

jonmc: My-oh-my, I think we committed most of these together (all but the square dance calling)...

Multiple counts of indecent exposure, I do believe (I think there's an ATM video on file somewheres).

posted by Pips 21 April | 16:18

And note: Bare tushies stick to metal slides.

posted by Pips 21 April | 16:19

Bear tushies?

posted by Pips 21 April | 16:20

and bear-baiting. And most of what jon said, but not the square-dancing. Too depraved for me.

posted by trondant 21 April | 16:51

*puts the lotion on the skin*

posted by seanyboy 21 April | 17:26

Ah, much better. : )

posted by Pips 21 April | 17:39

Petty theft ("wahhh, my friends made me do it!"), criminal trespass (several times), breaking and entering.

posted by deborah 22 April | 01:04

Is this thread only for stuff we've been arrested for, or for the things that we (given the statue of limitations, and all) got away with? *cough*

posted by jokeefe 22 April | 18:38

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