So these two strings walk in to a bar, the first one says "Hi, I'd like a gin and tonic" and the second one says "Yeah, and I'll have a rum and coke.ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ-LC_LOCALE_US1 ╦╦←≠", throws up, and dies. And the first string says "you'll have to excuse my friend, he's not NULL terminated.

*Says something about being an html/css coder, just to piss everybody off*

If carpenters built houses the same way programmers build programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

≡ Click to see image ≡

I know it's small. It reads:
Waterskiing | Mountain Biking | SCUBA Diving | Rollerblading | Computer Programming | Tennis

If yo mama were a data structure, she'd be a deque, because she allows rapid insertion at both ends.

That reminds me of another highly specialized yo mama joke I made up recently: "Yo mama so fat, she's mathematically sublime".

((Any LISPer can) (parse) (it with ease)
(We (cdr (and car)) as we please)
(We (setq and listp)
(With ((eyes) (blurred and misty))
(From (counting (the ((idiot)))) parentheses)))

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

---------------------------------------------
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careered almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?
"I know", said the Department Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."
"No, no", said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well", said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

Wolfdog's reminds me of one:
"I've finally finished my LISP operating system. I don't want to give away the source, but to prove I've done it, here are the last 300 lines:
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))[...]"

Also, bumber sticker: "My other car is a cdr"

heh! there are the programmers taz and cmonkey refer to and there is the other one. The sect. Taking fine looking differential equations and turning them into finite inequalities ad infinitum. No joke for them. They are the joke! disclaimer, I belong in this sect, working on 2 models that insist on blowing up in my face. Maybe I should be posting in the other thread... hmm...

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"




[long pause]















"Java."

Tech Support: What does the screen say now?

Luser: It says "Hit ENTER when ready".

Tech Support: ...Well?

Luser: How do I know when it's ready?

My fave is not a programmer joke but an admin joke. With a little military mixed in.

Kill -9 them all and let init sort them out.

An oldie but a goody...

There's only 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those that understand Binary, and those that don't.