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celebrate guy fawkes on the 5th of November! but don't burn him in effigy. celebrate my birthday on the 9th! but don't burn me in effigy.
"We shouldn't burn the chap every Nov. 5th but celebrate his attempt to blow up Parliament!"
-Dave Lloyd, artist for V, whose idea it was to portray V as Fawkes.
I can't adequately express just how thrilled I am about Our Leader's new guidelines for abstinence-only education grants. I never dreamed that the scope of these grants would be extended to target unmarried adults in addition to teens. I guess I need to have more faith in Our Leader's ability to impose his mighty will.
Convincing single adults to remain abstinent won't be an easy job. There aren't many positive role models for them to emulate. What we need is a chastity posterboy, and I think you're the man for the job. You're successful, a bachelor, and a tireless advocate for abstinence-only education. You're perfect. You'll be a fabulous posterboy.
...
It's also important that you talk about the difficulties you face in trying to remain chaste. I bet it's a constant battle, especially now, during wartime. I imagine that at every meeting you attend, there's a guy--probably Rummy or Deputy Leader Cheney--playing around with a model cruise missile, caressing its smooth rigid surface as he breathlessly gushes about huge payloads, powerful thrusting mechanisms, and dominating the enemy. And it probably doesn't help that Our Leader is watching wrestling on a little tee vee the whole time. ...
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
