MetaChat - MetaChat, what kind of boys do you like?

The smart kind.

posted by Specklet 14 April | 12:01

Smart + kind.

posted by essexjan 14 April | 12:02

Smart + cute + lets you spill drinks on him.

posted by matildaben 14 April | 12:03

Short + nice smile.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 April | 12:04

Better than me at everything.

posted by rebirtha 14 April | 12:07

Stupid + thick ankles.

posted by Divine_Wino 14 April | 12:10

Mine.

posted by danostuporstar 14 April | 12:11

Bent-dicked.

posted by Hugh Janus 14 April | 12:14

Ones whose last names end in vowels.

posted by rainbaby 14 April | 12:14

we got some cute boys here
but i think they're mostly taken
more's the pity

posted by ethylene 14 April | 12:15

Tall skinny boys with big noses. Or big hairy guys. Who are funny and smart and maybe a little troubled, but I'm trying to grow out of the last one.

posted by mygothlaundry 14 April | 12:16

Smart + thin + clean fingernails + funny.

Long hair is definite bonus points.

posted by Fuzzbean 14 April | 12:16

Passionate + dorky + nice body + tall + correct balance of spine & desire to ultimately give in to me unless I'm really, really wrong.

posted by dame 14 April | 12:18

Not on preview: Long hair is way grody.

posted by dame 14 April | 12:19

Tall, devastatingly smart boys with broad shoulders, receding hairlines, rapier wit and glasses. Gotta have the glasses.

posted by go dog go 14 April | 12:20

i just need one

and maybe two back ups
but just on retainer

posted by ethylene 14 April | 12:28

dame's spine thing + fuzzbean's long hair thing + mgl's big hairy guys thing + intelligence and wit and the ability to set ME up to be funny...

posted by muddgirl 14 April | 12:29

TPS, I appreciate your love for the short boys. They're a sadly neglected demographic :(

posted by cmonkey 14 April | 12:30

Long hair + smart + bright eyes + nice body sounds good.

posted by Wolfdog 14 April | 12:30

i want a boy who will appreciate how lucky he is in the lottery of life that i picked him out of all the boys in the world

besides having a good penis.

posted by ethylene 14 April | 12:35

Chewy centers. Definitely chewy centers.

I can always spot the caramels.

Mmmm... caramels.

posted by Pips 14 April | 12:35

Ooops. Didn't realize my caramels would follow your penis. (Like peanut butter and chocolate...)

posted by Pips 14 April | 12:37

Caramel Penis. One of the early abandoned carnival foods.

posted by jonmc 14 April | 12:40

Well all you ladies gather 'round
That good sweet candy man's in town
It's the candy man
It's the candy man

He likes a stick of candy just nine inch long
He sells as fast a hog can chew his corn
It's the candy man...

All heard what sister Johnson said
She always takes a candy stick to bed

Don't stand close to the candy man
He'll leave a big candy stick in your hand

He sold some candy to sister Bad
The very next day she took all he had

If you try his candy, good friend of mine,
you sure will want it for a long long time

His stick candy don't melt away
It just gets better, so the ladies say

posted by Hugh Janus 14 April | 12:47

Funny. Smart. Good with kids and animals. Makes me feel enabled and protected at the same time.

posted by jrossi4r 14 April | 12:50

Silly, kind, adventurous. Graceful is a bonus. So is ethnically ambiguous.

posted by small_ruminant 14 April | 12:55

Smart and witty and secure enough to use that wit without being mean. Independent.

posted by gaspode 14 April | 12:56

Short boys are grand. Tall ones are, well, too tall.

posted by essexjan 14 April | 13:02

gaspode beat me to it.

Wit, smart, compassionate, good kisser, likes to laugh, doting and a good dog walker.

Oh and the hands. Gotta have good hands.

posted by Lola_G 14 April | 13:10

Self-confidence, by which I mean ...OK, this might be TMI, but ...

I had a boyfriend who had the tiniest penis I've ever seen. I mean, it really did qualify as a 'micropenis', and when fully erect was about 3.5" (but fairly thick).

But, he had absolutely no hangups about it, he was a very body-confident man, entirely comfortable in his own skin. And he also devoted a lot of time to foreplay.

In any event (for me anyway) it's girth that's more important and he had that.

And a small penis is much, much better for oral sex, from the point of view of me as the giver.

*hyperventilates*
*blushes crimson*

posted by essexjan 14 April | 13:11

TPS, I appreciate your love for the short boys. They're a sadly neglected demographic :(

I just honestly find them sexier, as a whole, then tall boys. I like tall boys, too, but I like short boys more.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 April | 13:12

I like 'em tall and broad-shouldered, but since I'm 5'-1", you don't have to be tall to be taller than me.

Also, seconding the nice hands/fingernails thing.

And kind. Kind is a must. Also, if you can cook, more's the better.

posted by Specklet 14 April | 13:34

The boys i mean are not refined
They go with girls who buck and bite
They do not give a fuck for luck
They hump them thirteen times a night

One hangs a hat upon her tit
One carves a cross on her behind
They do not give a shit for wit
The boys i mean are not refined

They come with girls who bite and buck
Who cannot read and cannot write
Who laugh like they would fall apart
And masturbate with dynamite

The boys i mean are not refined
They cannot chat of that and this
They do not give a fart for art
They kill like you would take a piss

They speak whatever's on their mind
They do whatever's in their pants
The boys i mean are not refined
They shake the mountains when they dance

Like that, what ee said.

posted by WolfDaddy 14 April | 13:50

This thread makes me happy.

Where do all tehse sensible women who know what they want live?

posted by Space Coyote 14 April | 13:55

Witty and smart huh.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Immanuel.
Immanuel Who?
Immanuel Kant I come in.

posted by seanyboy 14 April | 13:59

Smart, smart, smart boys who aren't scared -- who in fact are happy -- if their girl is smart, too. Quirky, with odd interests and a mastery of some sort of trivial knowledge. They like to tinker or create. Sensitive dreamy ones who say things that surprise you. Reliable, solid ones who do what they say they will, who have friends of all ages, who love and respect their moms and sisters. Affectionate, touchy-feely ones. Ones who like to get out and do stuff and are open to experiencing just about anything. Ones who are relaxed and laid back, as a wonderful counterbalance to my often somwhat amped-up personality.

I don't really have a physical type, though I often find I'm attracted to big guys. Not necessarily tall, but large, solidly built, and filled-out. I have a real thing now for salt-and-pepper hair, which is recent.

posted by Miko 14 April | 14:02

Geeky + dangerous

They can be tall or short. A great smile is nice.

posted by halonine 14 April | 14:38

Hehe, I go through trends, too, Miko- lately it's been guys with beards.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 April | 14:39

I like the look that my friend Cindy used to describe as "Tall, Thin, and Tortured." Long hair is great, too.

posted by JanetLand 14 April | 14:48

3.5 inches? I've seen smaller. About the circumference of a pencil, too. To balance it out, he was ragingly kinky, and anal didn't hurt at all.

posted by matildaben 14 April | 15:03

jeez, tilda, the dude coulda jacked off with his pinky.

posted by jonmc 14 April | 15:17

I have a real thing now for salt-and-pepper hair, which is recent.

Oh yes. Especially right at the temples. Mmmmm......

posted by jrossi4r 14 April | 15:19

sweet. I have had grey hairs since high school and am constantly getting more.

posted by drjimmy11 14 April | 15:21

Oh, and they have to give good hugs.

posted by Fuzzbean 14 April | 15:21

No offense to the short guys, but I'm tall, and when I'm with a short man I look (and feel) like I'm taking a chihuahua for a stroll.

posted by go dog go 14 April | 15:37

*trying to make a joke about chihuahuas being good at eating panties, but cannot come up with anything clever enough*

posted by Specklet 14 April | 16:12

Smart. Funny. Wicked smile. Kind. Thoughtful. Loves music. Not afraid to dance. Likes to spoon.

(No wonder I'm single...)

posted by YouCanCallMeAl 14 April | 16:16

Specklet:
"Yo quiero Taco Smell!"
?

sorry

posted by Hellbient 14 April | 16:20

Brilliant, talented, kind, supportive, exothermic. Cooks well.

(le sigh.)

posted by casarkos 14 April | 17:28

No offense to the short guys, but I'm tall, and when I'm with a short man I look (and feel) like I'm taking a chihuahua for a stroll.

sheesh lady did you want a soulmate or are you scouting for the chicago bears?

:`(

posted by Wedge 14 April | 18:17

btw if you do happen to be scouting for the bears, i would make a pretty awesome 3rd string running back fwiw

posted by Wedge 14 April | 18:22

'Nuff said. See you in spring training.

posted by go dog go 14 April | 18:26

:D

posted by Wedge 14 April | 18:45

The ones who understand what "platonic" means.

posted by mudpuppie 14 April | 23:52

(Also, I want to give a big pat on the back to cmonkey -- I almost said hug, but I know he's not a hugger, and neither am I -- for not making this a gender-targeted question. Yay.)

posted by mudpuppie 14 April | 23:54

The one I walk right up to the I first see him, when I DON"T do that.

posted by brujita 15 April | 00:38

Whoops!The first time I see him.

posted by brujita 15 April | 00:40

Sweet, unselfish, handy, helps older people/younger people/people who can use a hand, gives me room to breath, honest as the day is long, truly enjoys my smart but misfit friends and family, reads and will read aloud to me, mean cook at the BBQ, always learning, will always take the time to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air and water and garden dirt. Nice knees a plus.

posted by vers 16 April | 15:59

14 April 2006