MetaChat - Actual Business Jargon of the Day

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

14 April 2006

Actual Business Jargon of the Day This is becoming a regular thing, I think.→[More:]
* Touch Points (said twice)
* Pain Points (said three times)
* Land Grab
* "... has been tasked with ..."
* "I'm passionate about that."
* "disconnect" (as a noun)

post by: matildaben at: 15:05 | 21 comments

Aiieeee!!!

posted by grouse 14 April | 15:13

What's wrong with disconnect as a noun?

posted by mullacc 14 April | 15:17

"I'm seeing a disconnect between X and Y."

How about "X and Y's expectations are different."?

posted by matildaben 14 April | 15:19

Disconnect is a perfectly legitimate noun, especially when talking about electrical systems.

posted by King of Prontopia 14 April | 15:21

"perception is reality" excuses liars
"impact" as a verb
"the business" as a vague, overarching concept
When my boss' boss, who doesn't care to listen or learn, says, "Walk me through this"

posted by Hugh Janus 14 April | 15:21

If you don't want to sound like a suedeointellectual get with the new pairadiggemn.

posted by trondant 14 April | 15:23

It doesn't seem as bad as the others. Phrases like "land grab" and "pain points" are atrocious because they make awkward use of miltary, political or sports jargon.

posted by mullacc 14 April | 15:24

The head of my group always says "the business of the business."

posted by mullacc 14 April | 15:26

Where does "pain points" originally come from, and what did it mean?

posted by matildaben 14 April | 15:26

"Piece." They don't say portion, part, section, segment or division anymore, always piece. Anyone know why and when this came about? Bugs the hell out of me.

posted by go dog go 14 April | 15:27

"Pain points" sounds like a mutated version of "no pain, no gain." But a quick google search doesn't seem to support that.

posted by mullacc 14 April | 15:28

Also the unconventional use of "buckets" and "plates" (specifically mine or yours).

posted by matildaben 14 April | 15:39

"Bob was tasked with making us all talk like idiots. Great work, Bob! Your passion for the business really came through!"

posted by I Love Tacos 14 April | 15:54

"thats not a hill we want to die on"

Gotta love the war metaphors from people who sit in front of computer screens all day.

posted by drjimmy11 14 April | 16:02

I have lots of annoying design/architectural terms that wouldn't really make sense if you weren't in the field.

Like:
-massage (as in: we need to massage the lobby transition a little)
-residential-y
-sustainable/green (bullSHIT, you Coriain fuckers, don't use the word "sustainable" in your literature)
-contemporary revival
-urban

posted by Specklet 14 April | 16:04

"Draft Charter"
"SIPOC"

But it was only a half-day.

posted by tommasz 14 April | 16:11

I think "pain points" began as medical jargon but somehow has become a synonym for "annoying" or "difficult", particularly in terms of a step in a process. As opposed to "broken" which implies things don't work at all rather than not well.

posted by tommasz 14 April | 16:17

Ewwwww, "massage." We had it at the travel guide, too; the editor applications and manual talked about "massaging text." It gave us all the willies.

posted by occhiblu 14 April | 16:21

trondant, you just broke my brain.

posted by fenriq 14 April | 17:43

the terminology, creepy-as-fuck:

- "buy-in" of anything by someone other than you.

- "an opportunity" when describing something distateful or unmanageable.

- "tasking you with a deliverable"

- "face-time, one-on-one or touch-base" - to describe a meeting.

"going forward" - on anything.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 14 April | 21:36

"... has been tasked with ..."
Yeah, if I get tasked with one more thing, I will fucking explode.

posted by dg 15 April | 05:49

← This is an angry complaining post. || Update: I sang like a boid. →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN