MetaChat - This just in: Fake boobs do not solve all problems.

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13 April 2006

This just in: Fake boobs do not solve all problems.

post by: mudpuppie at: 16:01 | 32 comments

Women with breast implants have low self esteem? Seems the more likely cause to me.

Of course if you want to hang yourself then having a little extra weight will speed things along...

posted by dodgygeezer 13 April | 16:05

Women with breast implants have low self esteem? Seems the more likely cause to me.

That's how I read their conclusions.

posted by gaspode 13 April | 16:07

This post is challenging everything to which I hold dear.

posted by mike9322 13 April | 16:11

The paper in question.

Meh. The number of suicides are so small, I'd argue that it's an artifact (4 deaths from suicide - total) and although the risk ratio is in the "concern" range (and it's compared to women who have undergone other plastic surgery procedures).

Implant patients also showed an elevated risk of suicide (…) and of deaths caused by motor vehicle accidents…

posted by porpoise 13 April | 16:19

Well, it's hard to be a safe driver when you're busy fondling yourself....

posted by mudpuppie 13 April | 16:24

I suppose what I mean is that the logic is kind of weird. People with low self esteem do all sorts of weird things.

Maybe they'll find that people who eat two or more Big Macs in one sitting are more prone to suicide. Should people who buy two Big macs need psycholoical profiling?

I dunno, it just seems like putting the cart before the horse. Try to find the reasons for low self esteem and work on those, instead of finding behaviour that may (very rarely) be indicitive of suicidal tendancies.

From the article:

Based on such findings, some experts have recommended that women be screened for past and present psychiatric disorders before they receive breast implants.

You see, this just reminds me about the story about Jim Morrisson. Morrisson was staying in a hotel and kept dangling himself out of the window causing a big scene in the street below and stopping the traffic. The hotels solution? Move him to a room at the back of the hotel so if he did plummet to his death the public wouldn't see him.

posted by dodgygeezer 13 April | 16:28

mudpuppie: And that's why fondling is part of the AZ high school driver's education program - we must learn to drive in challenging conditions.

It is part of the program, right? It wasn't just me, right?

posted by mullacc 13 April | 16:29

If there was a gear boobie instead of a gear stick I'd have learnt to drive long ago.

posted by dodgygeezer 13 April | 16:34

She is perfect for me, but here breasts are too large.

posted by sarah connor 13 April | 16:37

probably a very attractive B to a whopping DDD

What the hell kind of size is that? There's D, DD (which is actually E) and F, right? That's not just a european thing is it?

posted by dabitch 13 April | 17:17

eevrybody say it with me:

"correlation does not equal causality!"

why does the media continue to report on "studies" like this when they are not scientific in the slightest? I have an undergrad psych degree from a mediocre state school and even I know better than this- you learn it on the first day of psych 100.

posted by drjimmy11 13 April | 17:17

Based on such findings, some experts have recommended that women be screened for past and present psychiatric disorders before they receive breast implants.

Thus advancing their suicide date by several months by telling them:

a) sorry, you cant have the fake boobs you want and
b) sorry, you cant have the fake boobs you want b/c our test says you're fucking nuts

posted by drjimmy11 13 April | 17:20

What the hell kind of size is that? There's D, DD (which is actually E) and F, right? That's not just a european thing is it?

Most bras go D, DD (instead of E), and DDD (instead of F). I've seen some that were DDDD and FF, too. Mostly it seems to be AA, A, B, C, D, DD, DDD, F, G, H...the last three are pretty rare to see in stores.

Trust me, natural large breasts are no piece of cake either!

posted by sisterhavana 13 April | 17:29

This post is challenging everything to which I hold dear.

Wait, what are you holding?

posted by Specklet 13 April | 17:36

*titter*

posted by mike9322 13 April | 17:41

Epidemiology is a 3.962 journal (in 2002) which isn't too shabby.

I think it's more the popular press reporting something scandalous rather than the study being BS.

Again.

and again and again and...

posted by porpoise 13 April | 17:41

*groans, keeps abreast of mike's punnage*

posted by mudpuppie 13 April | 17:42

sisterhavana, aye I know - solution: bravissimo all bras start at D! Yeay!

There's an "AA"? Wow.

posted by dabitch 13 April | 17:47

*feels like a boob for being so silly*

posted by mike9322 13 April | 17:48

*refuses to titillate anymore*

posted by mudpuppie 13 April | 17:51

BRAVO!

posted by mike9322 13 April | 18:06

good thread, everybody. thanks for the mammaries.

posted by drjimmy11 13 April | 18:08

"Thanks for the mammaries"??

Oh man, we really need to nip this in the bud.

posted by mudpuppie 13 April | 18:30

It's true. I simply cannot support further puns.

posted by mike9322 13 April | 18:41

Can I get one more in under the wire?

posted by drjimmy11 13 April | 18:44

That would be stretching it, drjimmy.

posted by Specklet 13 April | 18:58

Do I need to lift and separate you two?

posted by mike9322 13 April | 19:08

Naw, we'll just give 'em both boobie prizes.

posted by porpoise 13 April | 19:21

it's cocked up
≡ Click to see image ≡
but isn't that the cutest little cock ever?

posted by ethylene 13 April | 20:16

Please don't bust our chops with that, eth

posted by porpoise 13 April | 20:51

I like the whole tit for tat exchange, butt lets not be dicks.

posted by pointilist 13 April | 23:00

No nead to be spathic.

posted by porpoise 14 April | 20:58

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