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12 April 2006

Where do babies come from? - If you had to lie creativity, what would you say?
post by: joelf at: 11:54 | 30 comments
Babies come from Greece, they're imported.
posted by joelf 12 April | 11:56
They are imported, but from Italy, not Greece.
posted by jonmc 12 April | 11:58
Are they marinated in fine olive oil?
posted by matildaben 12 April | 11:59
Babies are handcrafted by Satan and forced upon the world to make us all suffer.
posted by cmonkey 12 April | 11:59
They are accumulations of everyone's shed skin cells.

I just grossed myself out
posted by gaspode 12 April | 12:00
Are they marinated in fine olive oil?

yes. and I can get you some cheap. They fell off a truck.
posted by jonmc 12 April | 12:00
They are extruded onto a bearskin rug by Britney Spears
posted by pieisexactlythree 12 April | 12:02
The rain, of course.
posted by rainbaby 12 April | 12:03
Okay, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they go into a bedroom alone. There they whisper quietly and giggle about how fun babies are. After this, the woman swallows a watermelon seed. Over the next 9 months, a watermelon grows in her stomach. The woman then digests the watermelon and goes to the hospital to pick up her new baby.
posted by agropyron 12 April | 12:03
The government.
posted by Capn 12 April | 12:05
The Cabbage Patch. (Or, alternatively, the Garbage Pail.)
posted by mike9322 12 April | 12:06
babies fall from space, like viruses
posted by joelf 12 April | 12:08
That's not a lie, cmonkey. I know. I've had one.

Babies are the result of all the gum you've swallowed over the years. It stays in your gut, undigested, until you have approximately 7 pounds worth. Then the gelatinous mass is squeezed through the vagina, which moulds it into a baby shape kind of like the Play-Doh Fun Factory.
posted by jrossi4r 12 April | 12:15
Well sometimes your mommy is like a salad and I fork her, and that results in a little crouton!

I find nonsense works best.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 12 April | 12:21
the vagina, which moulds it into a baby shape kind of like the Play-Doh Fun Factory.

I detect a new euphemism being born here.

Hey guys, wanna go get loaded and score some fun factory?
posted by jonmc 12 April | 12:22
Sexual congress.

Which is also the name of my band.

*drops mike*
posted by Divine_Wino 12 April | 12:22
Divine_Wino dropped me. I hope it wasn't on my head.
posted by mike9322 12 April | 12:26
Babies are handcrafted by Satan


Today, we make all of our babies just as the Gardetto family did years ago. We take fresh sperm and combine them with our eggs. We then season each baby with the authentic Gardetto recipe and double bake them to create a one of a kind treat. The Gardetto family tradition provides the perfect babies for any occasion.

As paraphrased from a bag of gormet junkfood sitting next to my monitor.
posted by pieisexactlythree 12 April | 12:30
Sexual congress.

Which is also the name of my band.

I prefer Sexual Senate.

Which is the name of my band.

*picks up mike*
posted by jonmc 12 April | 12:42
Hey, slow down there, jon, you can't just "pick up mike" like I'm some floosy - I require some effort, mister! (A Five Guys burger will be sufficient, thank you.)
posted by mike9322 12 April | 12:48
*buys mike a cosmopolitan, asks him what his sign is, then realizes that mike is still on the rbound after Wino and thinks better of it*
posted by jonmc 12 April | 12:51
Five Guys? At once?

Floozy.
posted by jonmc 12 April | 12:51
Babistan. Unfortunately we're going to have to bomb it soon, so NO MORE BABIES.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 12 April | 12:52
Cosmopolitan? The drink or the magazine? Oh, it doesn't matter, they're both great! *swoon*
posted by mike9322 12 April | 12:53
They're dolls on which the pull string broke, so you can't turn them off.
posted by Orange Swan 12 April | 13:03
Babies are the basic building blocks of matter that make up everyday objects. A desk, an apple, even the air you breathe are all made up of babies! There are 90 naturally occurring kinds of babies. Scientists in labs have been able to make about 25 more. Babies are made of three basic particles: pooptrons, snotrons, and giggletrons. As these particles gain mass and weight babies become larger and larger, until finally they can be seen with the naked eye; at that point they can no longer float, which is when people pick them up and take them home.
posted by taz 12 April | 13:10
Babies are made of three basic particles: pooptrons, snotrons, and giggletrons.

You forgot fig newtons and morons.
posted by jonmc 12 April | 13:12
Alcohol.
posted by arse_hat 12 April | 13:26
I assumed they were refined from baby oil.
posted by Capn 12 April | 13:57
My older brother told me that I was found under a rock. Isn't that where all babies come from?
posted by deborah 12 April | 20:07
← A History of Bunnies in Cinema || Team Awkward! →

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