Will I be anally probed if I try to do so?

That depends on how much of it you drink, I imagine.

Just don't feed it to the snakes, and everything will be ok.

Airlines in the US won't let you (they want to make money on the overpriced booze), but European airlines don't care.

≡ Click to see image ≡ I'm sorry, ma'am, there seems to be some alcohol in here.

I've taken duty free liquor on the plane a few times and I've never had a problem with it.

Water bottle + vodka.

On a flight from London to the US I was on there was an ugly scene where this guy wanted to drink his own booze but have the flight attendant supply him with mixers. She said that there are FAA regulations against passengers being allowed to drink their own alcohol on planes and she threatened to confiscate it for the duration of the flight if he didn't put it away. He got drunk anyway, on the booze sold on the plane, and then there was another ugly scene at the end of the flight when he refused to pay (he'd used the excuse of not paying up front that his money was in his bag in the overhead compartment).

Brilliant idea porpoise. Think I can work that out with some Bacardi rum too?

≡ Click to see image ≡

Why do you want to bring booze onto a plane? drinking up there gives hella nasty hangovers because you already get dehydrated.
Trust me, I got upgraded to first class when the flight attendants decided that all champagne should be free forever. I must've drunk four piccolo bottles and regretted every one when we had landed. Mouth dry as the desert, head pounding, and US immigration greetibg me. ouch.

Never had a problem with a split of wine in my carry on. You can always open in the bathroom, if you must. Worst case buy one glass, then refill it yourself

I pretty much always drink on planes now (unless it's an early morning flight, which I tend to avoid anyway) after a plane I was on made a crash landing.

Given the choice betweend dehydration and sweaty-palmed anxiety, I'll take the cotton mouth.

I carry a little half-pint flask of rum and order cokes. It is against the rules, so be discreet. Last couple times I flew they even had warnings on the PA against drinking your own booze.

I also recommend boarding the plane already fairly drunk, then just having a few of theirs. But yeah, it depends on the airline.

Make yourself a couple of 20 oz rum and cokes in the coke bottle. Smile nicely at the person sitting next to you. If the person sitting next to you is a Catholic priest or a nun trade sips of rum and coke for blasts from their flask, talk about St. Augustine. (true story, nun).

I have to say that I can deal with the instant hangovers but not the needing to pee and then being impaired enough to get up all those times to pee. Lordy did I get glared at and muttered about, luckily I was drunk and didn't care.

It sounds like the best solution is to sit next to wino's nun.

I've never had a problem with carrying a flask -- plastic, no metal parts.

Be discreet, polite and generous with your seatmates.