Worst Waitress Ever. Long→[More:]I took a few guys out to lunch today, to a semi-upscale Italian restaurant. Nothing spectacular, but a $50/head lunch... good enough that you expect a meager bit of competance.

The waitress forgot our soup.
Then she brought the completely wrong appetizers.
Then she brought the wrong drinks (this was especially thorough. She brought tap instead of Pellegrino, coke instead of iced tea, and merlot instead of chianti.)
Then she brought the wrong entrees (well, not entirely true. She got one entree correct, out of four.)

So anyway, the check comes, and I ask if she could have the manager swing by. I'm not planning to haggle the price or anything, but I want to give'em a heads-up that we just had a meal that was so screwed up it was unbelievable... and that he should know about it.

Instead of the expected response, she says "I can't disclose when the manager will be available." Baffled, I respond, "Is that information classified? I'd just like to have a quick word with the manager before we go." She reasserts that she cannot disclose this information, nor can she confirm whether or not a manager is on the premise at all.

So, totally confused and finding it all extremely entertaining, I head over to the maitre'd, to ask to speak to a manger. They say no problem... then come back with our waitress instead, who claims they can't disclose (she always used the word 'disclose') the whereabouts of the manager.

I ask when the manager might be in, in the future, so I might come back and have a chat. I'm told that the manager's schedule cannot be disclosed. I give her a business card, and ask if they can have the manager call me.

After a few minutes of this, another waitress says, in our earshot "What the fuck is their problem?", and one of the guys I'm with wasn't finding this very entertaining.... he says "Fuck off bitch, you guys fucked up every piece of our order, and now you're pretending you don't have a manager. This is the most fucked up thing I've ever seen."

I'll grant you that it was a bit heavy on the FuckSpeak, but he had a point, and their staff were the ones to break down the Fuck barrier.

Our waitress then takes a bold stand and says "You don't talk to us like that. You guys have to leave, now."

So we leave, and I'm a bit glad to get out of there.

And somebody points out that we never paid the bill. We left it on the maitre'd's stand, while we were waiting for the manager, Godot.

I was hoping that the manager would call me, just so I could hear their reaction to the story (and so I could arrange for payment of our totally incorrect food)... but alas, no phone call.