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04 April 2006

Do you work for a monster?
No. And I'm thankful every single day, because I used to. Oh, I used to.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 04 April | 09:56
Nope. My boss is awesome, and I don't think it's possible to have more respect for a person.
posted by cmonkey 04 April | 09:58
My boss is 1,500 miles away, and we talk two or three times a week.

A sweet, sweet situation.
posted by sarah connor 04 April | 10:02
I work for money, but a monster would be sweet.
posted by tr33hggr 04 April | 10:03
No, but I used to work for Monster.
posted by eamondaly 04 April | 10:04
My boss is bipolar so it makes everyday different from the one before. He's also passive-aggressive and dislikes confrontation. Other than that I have no complaints at all.
posted by LunaticFringe 04 April | 10:04
Yes. I work for pure evil. The Octopus of the aughties.
posted by Hugh Janus 04 April | 10:08
I believe I work for LunaticFringe's boss in a female version... Get good gifts the high times!
posted by blackkar 04 April | 10:11
My new supervisor is cool. But I'm in a sour mood right now because the video images guy just got laid off.
posted by TrishaLynn 04 April | 10:15
Anyone who doesn't want their job can give it to me. I'm tired of having no money, but not tired enough to submit myself to the horrors of the job search.
posted by Eideteker 04 April | 10:18
* dodgygeezer walks into bosses office *

"Uh, Mr Frankensteine's Monster? I've done the graphs you asked for..."


"What's wrong?"


"Please don't drown me in the water cooler!!! I thought they looked spiffy!"

posted by dodgygeezer 04 April | 10:25
I used to. She was this manic, angry hosebeast who used me as her bitchflunkey and yelled at me to get her diet cokes. She never ate anything with calories in it, and I flinched whenever I walked into her office.

Then she got fired. Now I just work for an asshole.
posted by Fuzzbean 04 April | 10:28
Self-employed, so yeah, I work for a monster.
posted by StickyCarpet 04 April | 10:36
Heh, my boss is totally like my dad. Corny sense of humor and all.
posted by pieisexactlythree 04 April | 10:40
An lazy, incomprehensible, incompetent monster with no interpersonal skills to speak of; the worst elements of Dilbert's Pointy-Headed Boss, Steve Carrell's character on the U.S. Office, the factory foreman in Gordon Korman's Losing Joe's Place, and George W. Bush.
posted by Zozo 04 April | 10:52
I WANT to work for a monster, specifically The Coffee Monster (from Slaughterhouse Studios and Lisa Snelling et al, a fun place I just discovered via a Google search for 'monster'.)

The Coffee Monster and I would journey the earth. He'd eat people (but I wouldn't because I'm a vegetarian) and we'd both drink lots of coffee and have lots of fun. A grand ol' adventure.

Picard, Ryker and Data might join in.
posted by shane 04 April | 10:55
I've worked for a nutcase, an asshole and an earnest but clueless guy but never a monster.
posted by tommasz 04 April | 11:36
I'm actually not even really sure who my boss is anymore. I wish I was kidding.
posted by mike9322 04 April | 11:42
I work for a ravening blob of boredom.
posted by jonmc 04 April | 12:07
I am very happy to report that I work for two great people. One of them has helped me as much as none other before and the other one is so famous and as much nice.

On the other hand, 3 yrs ago I used to work for possibly the lamest-est-est professor I have ever come across (and I have come across many). Which goes to tell those of you who work for a-holes to not worry and look for something better.
posted by carmina 04 April | 12:21
No monsters. Worse boss was a snippy ol' bitch. The woman was born old. Her husband ended up divorcing her because they couldn't fuck because it'd mess up her hair (or so rumour control had it). She didn't believe in headaches because she never got them. Her one redeeming feature was the kick-ass carrot cake she made. She gave up the recipe to my mum (mum and I worked for the same company and the ol' bitch was mum's boss at one time) when we moved to Texas with the caveat mum couldn't share the recipe with anyone. Mum gives out the recipe to anyone who asks for it.
posted by deborah 04 April | 12:40
Hey mcgraw, do you work for a monster?
posted by Hugh Janus 04 April | 12:43
Yeah, years ago I did. Wound up coming down with a case of bipolar because of him. (Till then I could ignore it. But the gal before me had a nervous breakdown, and the one after was a nervous wreck. But she got his job when he was fired. Ha!)

My husband works for the bestest boss ever. I love that woman.
posted by bunnyfire 04 April | 13:49
OK, in all seriousness I've worked for some total arseholes.

My first boss was the local drug dealer whose idea of job security was keeping his staff perpetually in the dark (he got fired).

My second boss was a lazy fat bitch who only came close to doing any work when she was screaming at me. She was one of those people who complain constantly about how over worked they are and play solitaire all bloody day long. How can anyone find solitaire that interesting?

My third boss was an alcoholic in the midst of a nervous breakdown who liked to cheer himself up by threatening to fire me (and when he got fired I was asked to block his account - a great moment I can tell you).

It got better after that.
posted by dodgygeezer 04 April | 14:04
My immediate bosses are great, a laid-back Jamaican guy who is in seventh heaven this week because his wife (inappropriately named Winsome) is away visiting her parents with the kids, and a gay guy who is mostly cool but can get a bit shrill and 'queeny' sometimes.

Their boss is a harridan of a woman who I was astonished to learn (when a co-worker and I were discussing how much we loved Donny Osmond when we were 13 and she butted in) is the same age as me. I thought she was 10 years older. She's a bitch of the first order.

About 12 years ago I worked for a man who was a nightmare and it was the most stressful time. He was a passive-aggressive bully who made me feel everything was All My Fault.
posted by essexjan 04 April | 14:24
I once worked for a woman who was hyperthyroid and, from time to time, would forget to take her medication. Oh boy, those days were seven kinds of living hell for us - she used to shout and scream at people, making several staff members cry on a regular basis and generally abusing everyone, then come in the next day after taking her meds and wonder why everyone had long faces and was avoiding her.

My last boss was just an arsehole who said horrendous things about everyone (including his wife) behind their back and then wondered why he couldn't get staff to work for him longer than a year or so. No idea why I stayed for five years.
posted by dg 04 April | 22:19
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