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27 March 2006
The Good Wife's Guide→[More:]Housekeeping Monthly's guide to keeping your man happy. And don't forget - a good wife always knows her place.
Although I know both men and women took this kind of crap seriously, it boggles my mind.
Fandango_Matt, you are so right. That makes it a much more enjoyable read.
And may I add, thank God we've figured out that shit like this belongs in clearly demarcated roleplaying scenarios, rather than in earnest women's magazines. Which tell you not to complain if your husband stays out all night, because we need to understand his "boring" world of "stress and strain."
'Yeah, honey. It's not a problem for me that you totally did not come home last night. Can I get you another cool or warm drink?'
Though your fun technique does cast an entirely different and very unpleasant light on the instruction "Prepare the children."
A friend of mine e-mailed me this a couple of weeks ago.
Hoax? I doubt it. I've seen plenty of original copy that read exactly the same way, why go to the effort?
In fact, one of my favorite activities in college was to go to the microfilm and read happy housewife crap like that. Whenever I was feeling pissed off about school. Helped me keep things in perspective.
All of these happy housewife things have an intertextural context that you can really only decode if you are a contemporary of the writer. Thus Can I get you another cool or warm drink? actually reads Can I get you another cool or warm drink (which will contain ground glass...) and Don't complain if you husband stays out all night adds, because you are exhausted from boning the milkman. Science says women outlive men on the average, what it doesn't say is that women outlive men because the temptation to kill us in our sleep and make it look like a heart attack is just TOO strong.
I think I agree with the spirit of this list; it boils down to "Be nice, considerate, and helpful; don't be selfish." Good advice for the goose, and for the gander both. And yes, for heaven's sake, do try to keep the children quiet.
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