MetaChat - My New Favorite Beverage.

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24 March 2006

My New Favorite Beverage. The aftertaste is unnervingly candybaresque.→[More:] This one was there too, but the clerk told me the first one was better.

post by: jonmc at: 09:00 | 12 comments

We should just start juicing candy bars. I sense a new diet in the works here!

posted by tr33hggr 24 March | 09:18

We should just start juicing candy bars.

MANUFACTURER'S WARNING: When using the CandyJuicer on a Payday, be sure to use protective goggles thus avoiding peanut shrapnel.

posted by jonmc 24 March | 09:24

ALSO: Do not attempt to juice a Bit 'O Honey, unless you are looking for atmospheric repair bills and the permanent smell of burnt hair in your house.

posted by tr33hggr 24 March | 09:27

I just had a can of Pokka Pulpy C. Which lists it's ingredients as "water, orange juice and sacs". And yes, the sacs do get stuck in your teeth.

posted by oh pollo! 24 March | 09:30

Also, this song deserves another mention. It makes me want to slick my hair back, put on a satin jacket and sing on a street corner in front of a flaming trashcan. Plus any piece of music mentioning a woman named Hoskie Bopalena is good by default.

posted by jonmc 24 March | 09:34

(also the satin varsity-style jacket-preferably embroidered with the name of a small family-owned business or a dubious fraternal organization on the back and a nickname like 'Shorty,' or 'Buzz,' over the breast pocket-is a fashion statement worth reviving. I am not kidding)

posted by jonmc 24 March | 09:40

The new Tab Energy drink tastes JUST LIKE A RED JOLLY RANCHER.

posted by krix 24 March | 11:19

I saw those at the supermarket, krix, but since I don't believe in 'energy drinks,' I have not and will not partake. Good to see the retro sensibility spreading to such a modernistic assed product set.

posted by jonmc 24 March | 11:22

Ok, so "Slammers" to me makes me think of the following (in no particular order):

-Branded prison wine

-A SoCo-containing shot from the South that frat boys enjoy.

-An energy drink endorsed by pr0n stars. "I bet you ask yourself, how does Ron Jeremy get the energy to bang bitches all day long? The answer? Slammers, the new energy drink from Nestle."

posted by SassHat 24 March | 11:50

I've got it. Someone should start manufacturing and selling pruno in cans.

posted by puke & cry 24 March | 11:57

Re: Tab Energy drink -- A friend of mine said it totally gave her energy after the previous day's worth of snowboarding left bruises all over her body...

...the energy to sprint to the bathroom to spit it into the toilet, that is.

posted by TrishaLynn 24 March | 12:01

Yeah, the first sip is pretty vile. But it grows on you. Really.
I'm a Red Bull FIEND and so far it's the only other brand I've been able to stomach.
Monster sugar-free tastes like fairy spunk.

posted by krix 24 March | 12:08

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