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21 March 2006
What are your dating dealbreakers? The person you date MUST....
Be able to save me from a bear attack. I'm pretty independent and can take care of myself, so I technically don't need a man. But I do need protection from bears.
Must understand and appreciate irony and be able to argue without taking it personally. My last girlfriend interpreted every intellectual debate as a personal attack. That got old pretty fast. That left me with the choice of self censorship vs. upsetting her, both of which made me feel awful.
I'm adding: Have a general sense that we're here on the planet to help each other -- help everyone, I mean, not just the two of us -- and have some real part of his life affected by that goal.
-Be very intelligent. What I have been thinking of as 'no ceiling' -- meaning that in conversation I can use the biggest words I'd like, bring up anything I'd like, make obscure references and not fear them going, 'huh? whatever.'
-like foolin' around a lot
-be a good, open, kind but unafraid communicator
Be someone I can have a conversation with before or after sex.
Understand when I become a girly girl and why.
Be willing to compromise on what we do together.
Be passionnate about something.
...not want kids! (At least not biological ones)
...eat most foods. aka: no wheat? OK. No wheat, dairy, eggs, citrus, nuts, fish? Not going to work.
...be able to see that he's lucky in a lot of ways all the time. aka: not someone who "got born on third base and thinks he hit a triple"
...feel an obligation to help the people that he can. not that he has to live up to the obligation- just know it's there
...really really like sex.
...occasionally leave his city.
...be okay with me laughing at horrific stuff because I'm a horrible person that way.
...like being outdoors.
...be okay with me consistently saying the wrong thing at the worst possible moment. (really, I'm working on this, but there seems to be no cure).
Can you tell I've been thinking about this a lot lately?
-like dogs
-not want kids
-realize that I have a life of my own and I don't want to spend every second of my day with him.
-be respectful of my religion. He doesn't have to be Jewish (most of the guys I've dated haven't been) but he does need to understand I am not converting for anyone and I wouldn't expect anyone to do it for me.
-treat me with respect in general!
- be able to deal with teasing, because I'm going to lay it on thick, and so will my family;
- not be religious in any dogmatic way (friends? sure. dating? no.), but also be respectful of my devoutly religious friends;
- not treat me like I am upset just because I am an irrational girl who needs to be coddled until I calm down, but who will actually address the issue I'm not happy with;
- open communication — being honest with me is not a sign of weakness, you retard </rant at ex>;
- inside jokes! make me laugh until I cry!
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
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