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21 March 2006

Dealsavers: What things/qualities outweigh the challenges and hardships of being in a relationship and keep you dedicated to staying together?[More:]
Oh, come on, someone had to ask it.
Inertia.
posted by LarryC 21 March | 14:43
Knowing that nobody else knows your faults as well, and yet they still love you.

Thinking many times throughout the work day that it'll only be a few more hours before you're home together.

Remembering mornings when you can sit out on your porch with the weekend newspapers, the cat, coffee and each other, and have a wonderful time while saying very little.

Waking up in the middle of the night, hearing the other person breathing, and knowing you're not alone.

A feeling that together, the future isn't so scary.
posted by BoringPostcards 21 March | 14:47
Aww.

Commitment. Knowing you can depend upon them, that they'll be there because they said they would and they're not going to renege and you're going to look at the problems and figure them out together.

Contentment. A peaceful feeling of enjoying their company, just feeling comfortable in their presence, laughing easily, talking easily.

posted by Miko 21 March | 15:02
[Also, this i,s a serious question and no, I'm not exactly sure how to answer it, but I'm sure I'll know it when I come across it.]
posted by Frisbee Girl 21 March | 15:10
All of the above, plus: someone to laugh at your stupid jokes.
posted by selfnoise 21 March | 15:32
A huge, gaping, pit of emptiness when you contemplate any other future that doesn't involve them?

That's semi-true: I'm not as all-consumingly needy as that.

So absolutely seriously...

That wonderful feeling of "fit" where you feel like you don't actually have to do or say anything to let them know how you are feeling -- they just get you.
And going along with it: that wonderful feeling of delight you get when they surprise you every day with something new about themselves.
And: the knowledge that you do the same for them.
posted by gaspode 21 March | 15:36
Knowing that someone needs you in their life, even though you can't give them very much, and being reluctant to take even that little bit away from them because, in the end, it's stupidly flattering.
posted by mudpuppie 21 March | 15:40
Cause the good and the boring are so much better than the bad. Not easier mind you.

Would love to be single many days cause it is easier but for all the hard times the moments make them worth it.

posted by Lola_G 21 March | 15:52
What Lola, gaspode, and miko said.

The good times are so good that the bad times don't matter. They're temporary.
posted by Zozo 21 March | 16:15
Dunno, I've never been the one to end it. Both of 'em dumped pi.
posted by pieisexactlythree 21 March | 16:15
Inertia.
posted by LarryC 21 March | 14:43


Fine for a while, I suppose, but OMG 28 years of inertia is really ugly thing. My parents only recently divorced, and I'm much relieved for it.
posted by pieisexactlythree 21 March | 16:17
My own unwavering (and often foolish) optimism.
posted by wimpdork 21 March | 16:28
Making me laugh goes a loooooong way. That's because I likes the goofy.
posted by ooga_booga 21 March | 17:52
Inertia. My optimism that allows me to hope that things will get better, while at the same time knowing they won't.

And kids. When you have kids, you throw a whole new dynamic into the mix and, while it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion these days, I believe that the benefit that kids get from having both Mum and Dad living with them outweighs the personal wishes of either parent.

Anyone who is thinking about having kids, think very very very very carefully - kids are for life, not just for Christmas. If you have them, be prepared to look after them at the expense of everyting you ever wished your life would be, if necessary.
posted by dg 22 March | 21:56
comfort and fear
or visa versa
posted by ethylene 22 March | 22:01
The fact that we've been together five years now and she still hasn't stabbed me in my sleep. That's gotta count for something.
posted by bmarkey 22 March | 22:07
a lot, i'd say

ya get ta staring at them asleep with the pen in your hand--
posted by ethylene 22 March | 22:08
When you finally realize the person you're seeking doesn't exist, || Reassure me.

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