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21 March 2006
Dealsavers: What things/qualities outweigh the challenges and hardships of being in a relationship and keep you dedicated to staying together?→[More:]
Oh, come on, someone had to ask it.
Knowing that nobody else knows your faults as well, and yet they still love you.
Thinking many times throughout the work day that it'll only be a few more hours before you're home together.
Remembering mornings when you can sit out on your porch with the weekend newspapers, the cat, coffee and each other, and have a wonderful time while saying very little.
Waking up in the middle of the night, hearing the other person breathing, and knowing you're not alone.
A feeling that together, the future isn't so scary.
Commitment. Knowing you can depend upon them, that they'll be there because they said they would and they're not going to renege and you're going to look at the problems and figure them out together.
Contentment. A peaceful feeling of enjoying their company, just feeling comfortable in their presence, laughing easily, talking easily.
A huge, gaping, pit of emptiness when you contemplate any other future that doesn't involve them?
That's semi-true: I'm not as all-consumingly needy as that.
So absolutely seriously...
That wonderful feeling of "fit" where you feel like you don't actually have to do or say anything to let them know how you are feeling -- they just get you.
And going along with it: that wonderful feeling of delight you get when they surprise you every day with something new about themselves.
And: the knowledge that you do the same for them.
Knowing that someone needs you in their life, even though you can't give them very much, and being reluctant to take even that little bit away from them because, in the end, it's stupidly flattering.
Inertia. My optimism that allows me to hope that things will get better, while at the same time knowing they won't.
And kids. When you have kids, you throw a whole new dynamic into the mix and, while it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion these days, I believe that the benefit that kids get from having both Mum and Dad living with them outweighs the personal wishes of either parent.
Anyone who is thinking about having kids, think very very very very carefully - kids are for life, not just for Christmas. If you have them, be prepared to look after them at the expense of everyting you ever wished your life would be, if necessary.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
