*hangs head in shame, never bought it, slinks away*

I bought it, started reading it, lost interest because it's written in dialect. Now I'm reading Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

I dunno, I just read the Silmarillion again everytime you people mention one of these book reading things. Someday it will be the book of the month and by Zod, I'll be ready.

Mr. Land: So now we're really 20,000 leagues under the sea?

Captain Nemo: Well, actually, no, that's a bit of a misnomer. I misspoke. A league is actually a measure of distance traveled, and not a measure of depth, you see.

But, Captain, we're so deep! Surely, we must be 20,000 leagues under the sea by now!

First Mate: Yesss. 20,000 leaguesss! Under the sea!

Captain Nemo: Well, no. As I said before, I misspoke, you see. I should have said.. fathoms. Fathoms are what you use to measure depth! Fathoms, not leagues!

Professor: And so, we are 20,000 fathoms under the sea?

Captain Nemo: Yes. But, I mean.. I mean no. No. We could be. But right now, we're just about, uh.. 200 fathoms beneath the sea.

Mr. Land: Oh, I get it. So 200 fathoms equals 20,000 leagues under the sea?

Captain Nemo: No! No! now, look, I was obviously wrong to have ever even mentioned 20,000 leagues nder the sea. I simply meant that we would traveling a total distance of 20,000 leagues - lengthwise, while we happen to be underwater.

Mr. Land: So you're saying we're 20,000 leagues underwater, under the sea?

First Mate: 20,000 leaguessss! That's pretty deep, Captain!

and so on...

And there are Snakes! On a Plane! Under the sea!