MetaChat - Favorite movie quotes

You talkin' to me?

posted by jonmc 16 March | 13:55

(Apologies if we've done this before, but I searched and found nothing. And I promise this'll be my last post for awhile.)

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 13:55

You must be talkin' to me since I'm the only one here...

posted by jonmc 16 March | 13:57

*Cuts-n-pastes entire script from Clue*

posted by mike9322 16 March | 13:58

I'm your huckleberry.

posted by sciurus 16 March | 13:58

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

posted by jonmc 16 March | 13:59

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

They're not quotes, but I love a lot of the sayings and archaic slang from 40s movies.

And finally, this isn't from a movie, but I can't resist. I just started watching the DVDs of Deadwood. At the very beginning, a prospector trades a handful of gold as an advance on his saloon tab. As soon as the deal is struck, he tells the owner"

"Inform your dealers and whores of my credit."

As soon as I find myself across a counter from a fun bartender, I'm gonna use that line.

posted by Miko 16 March | 14:00

Laugh while you can, monkey boy!

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:00

"What squinky eye?"

posted by wimpdork 16 March | 14:00

Top men.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 14:00

" A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I dont want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I dont want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I dont really know. I cant figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."

"You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie."

"I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky."

Boy, I'm coming off as quite the intellectual here.

posted by amro 16 March | 14:00

"Small town, not much to do in the evenin'."

posted by Eideteker 16 March | 14:00

That's what I like about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:01

Is this the superintendent?... Yes, sir, I would like you to know that you have a whore living in 2R. Rossi, Janice Rossi... He's MY husband. Get your own goddamn man!!!!

(Yes..my nick is wrong.)

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:01

And I second all of amro's.

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:03

You're a funny guy, jrossi4r.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:03

I'll probably shit blood tonight.

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:03

More on the Cusack tip, since I watched Must Love Dogs last night: "I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause thats the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place."

posted by amro 16 March | 14:04

"It's one of the master's...affairs..."

"If I went around, sayin' I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

"Stupid Fucking White Man"

And anything from Lawrence of Arabia

posted by sciurus 16 March | 14:04

Hey guys, it's me, *fart* Chet!

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 14:04

"The only thing better than Australia's funniest home videos is Best of Australia's Funniest Home Videos".

"The only thing Dad liked better than serenity was... jet boats".

both from The Castle (2 randomly picked out of a bunch I like), one of the funniest movies ever in the history of the world anywhere.

posted by gaspode 16 March | 14:05

Whaddaya think, this is like the Army, you shoot 'em from a mile away? You gotta get close, BADABING! Brains all over your nice Ivy League suit.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:06

Too many to count from Lebowski, no?

A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

Every commodity you produce is a piece of your own death.

You know, I was so bored once that I fucked a dog.

posted by tr33hggr 16 March | 14:07

*kisses sciurus* I love "I'm your huckleberry". Mr. taz and I use that all the time, except we say "I'm your dingleberry". Yeah, we're cute like that.

posted by taz 16 March | 14:08

Both from American Beauty:

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 14:08

Go get your fuckin' shinebox, jon.

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:08

I'm barely holding my fudge.

posted by loquacious 16 March | 14:09

*puts 'Atlantis' on the jukebox*

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:09

aw, taz.

*blooshes*

posted by sciurus 16 March | 14:10

"Last time I did that, he hit one that hasn't landed yet."
"Ball four. Ball eight. And Vaughn loads the bases on twelve straight pitches."
"Want me to drag him out of here and kick the shit out of him?"
"Bartender! Jobu needs a refill!"
"You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:12

This post really holds the room together.

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:12

My old man's gonna be back soon and if we're still here he's gonna shit Twinkies.

10 bonus points to whoever guesses the movie

posted by tr33hggr 16 March | 14:13

"Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:13

Nobody ever brings anything small into a bar.

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:14

*lurves mike9322* (just not that way)

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:15

For Major League or Serenity, ~?

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:16

"Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

"Well, I've been listening to my guts since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

posted by Capn 16 March | 14:16

There are a lot of quotes I'm fond of. This list would be 10x longer if we included all the quotes I repeat regularly.

"The duality of man, sir. The Jungian thing."

(btw, I have a lotta .wavs of movie quotes if anyone's looking for something specific.)

"Hurting people's not a good thing! Well, sometimes it is..." -Demolition Man.

"Care for a little necrophilia?"

"Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks."

"You chose... poorly." (though I think this one is now an Internet cliché)

"And the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln!"

"Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? I mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a gonna be in motion. Y'see?" (a lot of lines in that movie)

"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?"

And last one's not from a movie but TV: "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

"How am I not myself?"

Y'all can play guess the quote with mine.

posted by Eideteker 16 March | 14:16

"It TWIRLED UP!"

posted by rainbaby 16 March | 14:16

for Kaylee

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:17

Malcovich. Malcovich, malcovich malcovich. Malcovich! malcovich ... malcovich malcovich malcovich, malcovich malcovich malcovich. ~malcovich~

Malcovich?

Are we ever going to get that big table in here or do I have to go out and cut down that fucking tree myself?

posted by WolfDaddy 16 March | 14:17

"He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily in most overhead storage bins"

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:18

I named my cat Kaylee. Love her.

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:18

Oh, and this scene. Which is also how I celebrate St. Patrick's and my Irish heritage, oddly enough.

(ps, Major League love, mike!)

posted by Eideteker 16 March | 14:19

You're maudlin and full of self-pity. You're magnificent!

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:21

Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.

Pearline: Can't you understand what he's saying?
Ghost Dog: No, I don't understand him. I don't speak French, only English. I never understand a word he says.
Pearline: And that's your best friend?
Ghost Dog: Yeah.

posted by box 16 March | 14:22

Leia - I happen to like nice men.
Han - I'm nice men.

Dr Peter Venkman - Hee hee. "Get her." That was your whole plan. I like it. It was scientific.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 16 March | 14:22

"I'm not dead yet! I don't want to go on the cart." (Or something like that.)

posted by amro 16 March | 14:22

Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down.

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:23

I forgot about Spaceballs! Another all-time favorite quote movie. I started to put some down, but there are too many. Entire movie. Princess Bride too.

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:25

"Nobody can eat fifty eggs."

"A tiger shark"
"A WHAAAT?"

posted by rainbaby 16 March | 14:26

If you don't like the sea... and don't care for the mountains... and don't like the big city either... go fuck yourself!

- Jean-Paul Belmondo
in Breathless

(Among many many others in this thread)

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:27

"Don't move!"
"Why not? Is there a bee on me?"

Identify the movie for a cookie!

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:27

Which one of you nuts has got any guts?

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:28

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

(Had to throw at least one in, mike.)

posted by amro 16 March | 14:28

This used to be one hell of a country.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:29

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

My name is a killing word.

posted by porpoise 16 March | 14:29

You got a right purty mouth.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:31

That would be far too vulgar a display of power.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:33

Does anyone still say "G'day mate, put another shrimp on the barbie!" whenever someone says "Austria"? Because I know I sure don't.

posted by taz 16 March | 14:33

I'll never be able to transcribe it, but I fell in love with Milla Jovovich when she fell into Bruce Willis's cab in Fifth Element and spoke frantically in her own language. She convinced me that that was the language she actually spoke and that it was a real language and she was so powerful yet so helpless and her eyes were so expressive and I just wanted to make it better. I adore that scene.

posted by mike9322 16 March | 14:34

May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly enshrined.

I was gonna use perfect tommy as my nick, oh well perhaps in another life.

Rawhide: Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize a pineal tumor without damaging the parthogenital plate. A subcutaneous microphone will allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.
Observer: Like, "raise my left arm"?
Rawhide: Or "throw the harpoon." People are gonna come from all over. This boy's an Eskimo.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:34

Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not so surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...

Pete: He said we wouldn't get get it. He said we wouldn't get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stac-les.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well what the hell does he know, he's just an ignorant old man?

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 14:36

I have a feeling that at least a few of mine are baffling some of the young un's.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 14:36

"I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?"

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. Now all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

"I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats."

And a favourite TV quote:

"Also, I can kill you with my brain."

posted by Incharitable Dog 16 March | 14:40

"I'm beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!"

"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This is my boomstick!"

(Both of these never fail to crack me up.)

posted by BoringPostcards 16 March | 14:41

These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain't even old timey!

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:41

I am notorious for my inability to remember the exact wording of movie quotes correctly (except for those that have been repeated ad nauseam in popular and/or internet culture). And I refuse to use IMDB to cheat. So I'll just say: "yeah, some of those that got posted above!"

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:42

My favourite movie quote only works in context.

"Now there's something you don't see every day."

posted by Zozo 16 March | 14:43

Down there I sell whiskey and cards. All you can buy up these stairs is a bullet in the head. Now which do you want?

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:44

EEEK! Sparkle Motion! YESS!

posted by rainbaby 16 March | 14:49

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:49

Cats and dogs, living together...mass hysteria.

posted by TrishaLynn 16 March | 14:52

incharible dog, love the Blade Runner quote!

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 14:52

What does it matter what I think? I'm the guy who tried to talk Selznick out of doing "Gone with the Wind"!

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 14:53

"I'm beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!"

This is one of the few quotes that I actually was able to repeat correctly right away, contrary to my assertion above.

posted by matildaben 16 March | 14:56

whenever someone says "Austria"?

Achtung! Das ist nicht korrekt!

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 14:59

That wasn't no miss, Vargas. That was just to turn you 'round, so I don't have to shoot you in the back. Unless you'd rather run for it.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:00

Sorry, film major and movie nerd, I'll stop.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:01

I'm picking out a thermos for yooou
Not an ordinary thermos for you
But the extra best thermos you can buy
With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in!

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 15:01

"Lighten up, Francis."

"...So I've got that going for me. Which is nice."

posted by me3dia 16 March | 15:01

"Knife is good. Is more easy to fix. I got knifed three times. When you're young, everybody sticks knife in you."

Now that was really the last one, from a movie called "Ride the Pink Horse", see it if you liked truly strange b film noir.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:03

This train stop at Tucumcari?

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 15:07

CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP:

Kathie Moffett: Oh, Jeff, I don't want to die!

Jeff Bailey: Neither do I, baby, but if I have to I'm going to be the one who dies last.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:08

John J. Macreedy: Your friend's a very... argumentative fellow.
Reno Smith: Sort of unpredictable, too. Got a temper like a rattlesnake.
Coley Trimble: That's me all over. I'm half horse, half alligator. You mess with me and I'll kick a lung outta' ya'

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:10

My old man's gonna be back soon and if we're still here he's gonna shit Twinkies.

read that and thought, Fast Times at Ridgemont High? no... but there is a line there that I am thinking of. ah:

Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

posted by hathaway_green 16 March | 15:12

Unrelated, but this is creepy and funny, no offense to anyone, and not worth its own post.

posted by tr33hggr 16 March | 15:12

"Two fighters against a star destroyer?"

posted by interrobang 16 March | 15:13

"No Ticket!"

posted by Capn 16 March | 15:15

"We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?"

posted by Incharitable Dog 16 March | 15:23

Not a quote, but some dialog - my favoritist ever (copied from imdb so I get it right)

Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin.
Benjamin: Yes?
Mrs. Robinson: Isn't there something you want to tell me?
Benjamin: Tell you?
Mrs. Robinson: Yes.
Benjamin: Well, I want you to know how much I appreciate this. Really.
Mrs. Robinson: The number.
Benjamin: What?
Mrs. Robinson: The room number, Benjamin. I think you ought to tell me that.
Benjamin: Oh, you're absolutely right. It's 568.
Mrs. Robinson: Thank you.
Benjamin: You're welcome. Well... I'll see you later, Mrs. Robinson.

Course, the delivery makes it perfect.

posted by gaspode 16 March | 15:27

How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants.

- What are we going to do with this one, Frank?
- Now that you've called me by name?

- You deserve better.
- The last man who told me that... is buried out there.

Keep your lovin' brother happy.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 15:28

heh.

posted by taz 16 March | 15:29

"The butler's blind!"
"Don't let him park the car, Dickie."
--
"IT! IT is confusing! SAY YOUR GOD DAMNED PRONOUNS!"

posted by WolfDaddy 16 March | 15:30

jrossi, I find myself singing the Thermos song all the time. Good one!

posted by amro 16 March | 15:30

rules are, there ain't no rules. it's to the second bridge and back and whoever makes it first, wins.

posted by hathaway_green 16 March | 15:31

Should I call you Nick, or Mr. Dick?

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 15:34

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 March | 15:39

"Pathetic Earthlings, hurling your bodies out into the void... without the slightest inkling of who or what is out there. If you knew the true nature of the Universe, you'd recoild from it in terror."

posted by moonbird 16 March | 15:43

Oh, and...

Maude: I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They're so tall and simple. What flower would you like to be?
Harold: I don't know. One of these, maybe.
Maude: Why do you say that?
Harold: Because they're all alike.
Maude: Oooh, but they're *not*. Look. See, some are smaller, some are fatter, some grow to the left, some to the right, some even have lost some petals. All *kinds* of observable differences. You see, Harold, I feel that much of the world's sorrow comes from people who are *this*,
[she points to a daisy]
Maude: yet allow themselves be treated as *that*
[she gestures to a field of daisies]

posted by moonbird 16 March | 15:49

D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

posted by richat 16 March | 15:52

Not a philosophy I subscribe, too, but funny nonetheless:

"Gerry, I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary."
___________________________

"I'm trying to be your girlfriend Gerry! I'm trying to win you back! I'm standing on the platform at Limbo Central with my heart and soul packed in my suitcase waiting for the Gerry Fucking Express to roll in and tell me that my ticket is still valid and that I may reboard the train. Only the station announcer keeps coming on and telling me that my train has been delayed as the driver has suffered a major panic attack in Indecision City, "We suggest you take the bus"!

That's what I have been trying to do, you cripple!"

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 15:54

Moonbird, that's one of the parts that always chokes me up. That and the "Now I'll always know where it is" scene.

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 15:56

[And a happy reminder that outside of the commentors who post challenges about guessing the origin of the quote, I started this thread as a friendly exchange and not a competition. As such, "cheating" doesn't apply here. =) Thanks for playing!]

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 15:58

Ditto, jrossi! I was just thinking the same thing.

posted by Frisbee Girl 16 March | 15:58

Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

posted by box 16 March | 16:00

Martha: Aren't you going to apologize?
George: Not my fault, the road should've been straight.
Martha: No, aren't you going to apologize for making Honey throw up?
George: I didn't make her throw up.
Martha: What, you think it was handsome there? You think he made his own wife throw up?
George: Well, you make me throw up.
Martha: That's different.

posted by box 16 March | 16:03

Trent: So, what'd you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
Trent: No, baby, you're money.

posted by richat 16 March | 16:03

"You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it."

"If I medicined you you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present."

and just about any other line in that movie.

posted by elizard 16 March | 16:04

“It must be nice to always believe you know better, to think you’re the smartest person in the room.”

"No. It's awful"

posted by jrossi4r 16 March | 16:06

...and of course, the classic:

I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?

posted by elizard 16 March | 16:08

People don't come from monkeys. People come from Europe.

posted by tangerine 16 March | 16:11

Oh yeah, moonbird... I love that one, and "Harold & Maude" is packed with wonderful quotable parts.

posted by BoringPostcards 16 March | 16:15

Those are not spirit fingers. These are Spirit Fingers!

Oh, George... not the livestock.

*brightly* Well, I'll only be 82!

posted by kosher_jenny 16 March | 16:22

Hang on boys, I'm taking her down for thicker air!

posted by warbaby 16 March | 16:23

I love my dead gay son!

I'm wearing a cardboard belt!

...and that as much as anything else led to my drinking problem.

Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Goddamn it. You shot me in the exact same fucking place as last time!

...and when you're dead, you don't get to sleep ever again. Which means no more dreams.

posted by Hellbient 16 March | 16:24

I detect, like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab. I flatter myself such is the case. In my line, it's plum necessary. The one thing you don't want... is air in the conversation.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 March | 16:26

I smell a smell, Joyce. Do you smell a smell?
It's mother. She's seventy-two.

(that quote may be a bit off--if so, my apologies)

posted by elizard 16 March | 16:28

'Scuse me while I whip this out.

Where de white women at?

Badgers? We don't need no steenkin' badgers!

Mongo strait!

Dr. F: Damn your eyes!
Igor : Too late!

Capt. Renault: I'm shocked! Shocked that there's illegal gambling going on in this establishment!
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.

posted by ooga_booga 16 March | 16:34

I have this book on my toilet, dogeared (and I never dogear books) to this exact page of dialogue.

posted by Eideteker 16 March | 16:39

I know it's pretty, baby, but I didn't take it out for air.

posted by Zozo 16 March | 16:43

"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Oh, there are so many great quotes from Airplane!

posted by sisterhavana 16 March | 16:59

Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage.

posted by tetsuo 16 March | 17:49

Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
Claire: No thank you.
Bender: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?
Claire: Can't you just leave me alone?
Bender: I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun.

John Bender: Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. Shut up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. Dad, what about you? Fuck you.
Brian Johnson: Is that for real?
John Bender: Wanna come over sometime?

(And pretty much the rest of the movie too)

posted by drjimmy11 16 March | 18:06

also:

Hooper: You were on the Indianapolis?
Brody: What happened?
Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

posted by drjimmy11 16 March | 18:08

"all i need is this thermos..." (there are a million good ones from that movie)

"Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87." (ditto on this one)

posted by amberglow 16 March | 18:37

Valerie? Are we limp and hard to manage?

posted by Specklet 16 March | 20:22

It rubs the lotion on its skin...

posted by mudpuppie 16 March | 20:27

I feel like I'm in some sort of gay soap opera, and Sue Ellen's just walked in and told me that she's secretly bought controlling interest in my oil company!

Plus, it's got Dean Cain and Zach Braff and lotsa other cute guys kissing each other all over!!!

posted by WolfDaddy 16 March | 21:05

Let's not start sucking each others' dicks just yet.

posted by trondant 17 March | 08:41

"Oh Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars"

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by matteo 17 March | 10:05

"We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment. So many ideas. So little memory. The last thought killed by anticipation of the next. We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. We flow in unison. We're together. I wish this was real. We want a universal level of togetherness, where we're comfortable with everyone. We're in rhythm. Part of a movement. A movement to escape. We wave goodbye. Ultimately, we just want to be happy. Yeah ...

Hang on, what the fuck was I just talking about?"

- Human Traffic

(And as a bonus, a link to my proudest MeFi posting moment ever.)

posted by grabbingsand 17 March | 14:43

*bows deeply to grabbingsand*

posted by Frisbee Girl 17 March | 14:50

"Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed! There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races and we had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later... Why do I bother?"

"That's a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you've stopped stuttering."
"I've been giving myself shock treatments."
"Up the voltage."

"I want to see more of you around the lab."
"Fine, I'll gain weight."

And finally...

"Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'"

That movie kills me every time I see it.

posted by quantumetric 17 March | 17:30

16 March 2006