This guy needs to check airfares to Stockholm and learn to say, 'I'd like to thank the Academy' in Swedish me thinks.

What in the unholiest of fucks? Why is the old guy in bed reading "The Urantia Book"!? *brain explodes*

Also Available: "Gas Eaters" and "Plus Sizes"

GAHHHH!!

/runs away from thread

*lifts one cheek, smiles contentedly*

What in the unholiest of fucks?

I love this and hope to use it sometime today.

Those are shiny, shiny underpants. I think any confidence you might gain from knowing your flatulence is under control would be overshadowed by the fact that you are wearing plastic underwear that is most likely squeaking and rustling like a bag full of mice.

Hell, why not a pair of underwear full of mice? Sounds like fun.

Great idea, wimpdork!

Are you happy to see me, or are those mice in your underpants?

I don't have any mice handy, but I have some underpants and a pair of rats. brb.

*experiments*

Nope, they didn't like that one bit. I think it was more like three or four bites. Ow. *rubs heiny*

"Excellent! Nothing can escape!"

I'm imagining those scritchy scratchy little mouse hands, tickling; also the curly way they turn around in tight spaces.

Ants in your pants? Try mice in your underwear.

See also: 'Farty Pants Limited' versus 'Johnny Fartpants,' a UK patent office trademark dispute from 1994.

Take it away, m'lud:

"As can be seen the magazine character is clearly a young boy wearing short trousers and with a clown like face in that the nose is large and the eyebrows exaggerated and finally a very distinctive star pattern hairstyle residing on the very top of his head. In contrast, the applicants' trade mark shows an adult male wearing a collar and tie, albeit with his trousers round his ankles ...

"Regarding the names 'Johnny Fartpants' and 'FARTY PANTS,' clearly there are similarities in that both contain a reference to the words 'fart' and 'pants'. However, the opponents use in their magazine clearly is a reference to a character, whilst the applicants' use implies a condition rather than relating to the character shown as part of its mark ... In my opinion the marks are not sufficiently similar that use of the applicants' mark, on the goods applied for, would give rise to confusion by the public. The opposition under Section 5(4)(a) therefore fails."

I prefer the fart absorbing seat cushions myself. Not as portable but hey, no micey noises.

Are you happy to see me, or are those mice in your underpants?

In the City of Springfield, it is illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Fuck the squirrels.

I still want to know why that bean eatin' tootmeister is reading the book of Urantia in bed. That's not light reading. Cultish fairy stories, sure, but not all that fluffy.