MetaChat - Today, I'm going to see

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09 March 2006

Today, I'm going to see another apartment around eight. So I have some time to kill after work. I'll probably go get a haircut. Three people in the past two weeks have told me (unsolicited) to get rid of my trademark muttonchops. I've been going back on forth on it, so I leave it in the capable hands of my bunny buds (especially the ladies). So, save 'em or shave 'em?

post by: jonmc at: 09:30 | 50 comments

Keep 'em! But maybe leave the flannel at home for apartment interviewing purposes.

posted by Gator 09 March | 09:34

I am no lady, but what is the motivation to be rid of them? I don't have sideburns at all, but if you like 'em dude, hang on to 'em!

Besides, trademark is a strong word . . .

posted by tr33hggr 09 March | 09:34

I'm no lady either!

Those aren't muttonchops. They're sideburns. I like them...sexy.

posted by iconomy 09 March | 09:36

well, tr33 my man, I fear change, which means I hang on to things longer than is good for me sometimes. Plus, as a single guy, I'm out to attract the honeys and maybe the facial foiliage is hampering the quest.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 09:37

If you lose the chops, you might end up lookin' like a stooge. I dunno, bro.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 09:39

SAVE THE CHOPS!

we all fear change

posted by tr33hggr 09 March | 09:40

Leave 'em.

posted by mygothlaundry 09 March | 09:40

Keep the 'burns. Those people are idiots.

posted by matildaben 09 March | 09:41

Shave 'em.

posted by rainbaby 09 March | 09:41

Shave 'em! Change is good! And if you don't like it, you can always grow them back- it's just hair.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 March | 09:42

Hey, don't ask me, I just went from past shoulder length hair to way short. Change is good.

But nothing really wrong with your sideburns either, so, whatever.

Hey, btw, can you drag adampsyche over here sometimes? Tell him I owe him a sausage biscuit.

posted by bunnyfire 09 March | 09:44

Let it all hang out, hon'

posted by AlexReynolds 09 March | 09:50

alex, one of the people who told me to (in his words) "get rid of these things," was that dude at the bear bar. A couple days later some dude I was drinking shots with said (unsolicited) "you a single guy looking for chicks, now? Ditch da chops, kid." Another guy I know said that they were starting to look 'hasidic.' (I'm not big on maintenance).

posted by jonmc 09 March | 09:54

I would say to neaten them...just have the barber trim them up a bit but don't shave them.

posted by LunaticFringe 09 March | 09:57

I think the chops are fine if you keep 'em groomed. I'd get the hair around the ears cleaned up though. But then, I'm psychotic about my hair touching my ears. I think it is because my glasses always end up yanking it out.

posted by sciurus 09 March | 10:01

Any guy in a bear bar who advocates having less hair, obviously does not belong in a bear bar. That is the opinion conveyed to me by this guy (note the awesome sideburns) when I told him about your situation.

posted by matildaben 09 March | 10:06

I think they suit you, but do what you feel comfortable doing. : )

posted by sisterhavana 09 March | 10:13

The problem with jon's sideburns is that they're not as neatly maintained as the guy in your pic, matildaben. They're kinda straggly and not as well-filled out.

I am sad to say that jonmc did NOT leave the flannel at home, but is wearing that and his faded Partridge family T-shirt. He says he's going to button it up and tuck it in and all that, but that's useless since he doesn't wear a belt. Mind you, the last time I saw him with a buttoned-up flannel with a dark shirt underneath, he looked good enough to wuffle. ^_^ But as far as my single gal mind goes, a gal wants to see some variety in her man's look sometimes, you know?

I think I know who the Fab Five's next project should be............

posted by TrishaLynn 09 March | 10:22

I think I know who the Fab Five's next project should be............

Oh Em Gee YES!!

posted by tr33hggr 09 March | 10:25

well, Trish, I have Mista Pete, my gay boss, as my own personal fab 5, ya know.

and I was actually considering going to one those hair saloons near here, rather than my 12 dollar East Village barber/short back & sides routine.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 10:25

You remember what happened to Sampson, yes?

posted by Capn 09 March | 10:29

omg, if you go to one of them fancy hair saloons, please get someone to come with you and document the event with a digital. We've got to see this.

posted by taz 09 March | 10:30

You're going to go into a hair salon (is it a saloon if they cut your hair and serve you beer while they do it?) wearing flannel? Dude, the stylists are gonna flip. Especially if your stylist is a gay man. They dress so well...

posted by LunaticFringe 09 March | 10:31

Well my aforementioned gay boss is wearing jeans a t-shirt, and a ballcap. But the shirt and cap match perfectly (both plain black), as they do everyday. I think he has some kind of machine in his closet.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 10:33

Above all, do NOT get them trimmed in such a way that you have to neatly maintain them... that defeats the purpose. Chops are meant to be unruly. Mincing them into little shapes either means you're vain or you play striker for Juventus, or both.

And if they try to cram your head into one of those excruciating hair-wash sinks, ask for extra towels to pillow your neck. I've never figured out why people like that shit. Maybe the chairs are for people under 6' (183 cm)? I dunno, but I've been kicked in the balls and it hurt less than that.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 10:35

Metachat: I've been kicked in the balls and it hurt less than that

Oh, and add one more vote for shaving off the Elvisburns. Not all the way up, mind you, and for the love of God not pointed. That's too "Kirk in Trek: The movie"ish.

posted by mr_crash_davis 09 March | 10:45

jonmc: There's no way you'd be able to get in on a walk-in on any of the places around here. Arrojo on Varick and King? Fuggedabout it. Stuff like that is mostly by appointment only.

Don't go to a barber shop, but do go to the Supercuts near the West 4th stop. In fact, call in advance and see if they have any spots open tonight. If you need moral support, let me know.

posted by TrishaLynn 09 March | 10:51

Capn: agreed on the uncomfortable neck sinks, but having my hair washed by an attractive woman is pretty much a sexual experience for me.

posted by mike9322 09 March | 10:56

the problem with "trademarks" is they can become you. And clearly your chops are not you. So if you're thinking of keeping them to satisfy some outsider view of who you are ("there's jon and his chops"), that's the wrong reason.

posted by Hellbient 09 March | 10:56

Shave them. To be blunt: they look like you're trying too hard.

posted by deborah 09 March | 11:03

Totally keep them.

posted by Specklet 09 March | 11:05

YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A STOOGE WITHOUT 'EM!

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 11:05

I can sort of see that, deborah. It's weird, I always kind of kept them as what Douglas Coupland called an 'anti-victim' device. I no longer have shouler-legnth, hair, a mustache or a goatee, but the 'burns always were my outward signal that I'm still a rock-n-roll bad boy (or whatever), kinda like a extra piercing or a glimpse of a tattoo under a sensible blouse lets you know that suburban mom wasn't always a square. I always thought that without them I'd become just another generic 'guy unit.'

I'm beginning to realize that's something of a stupid theory.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 11:09

'nother vote for keep 'em and groom 'em.

posted by chewatadistance 09 March | 11:25

Just shave one of them.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 March | 11:27

wino: how 'bout we both shave our noggins and wander around Tribeca in hospital gowns asking 'Where do you live?'

posted by jonmc 09 March | 11:31

And clearly your chops are not you.

I didn't mean this as "they don't fit you". I meant they are not you as in only you are you, grasshoppa.
okay.

oh, and don't shave just one, I've seen rockabilly guys do this - it's tragic to watch them walk around in circles all day.

posted by Hellbient 09 March | 11:38

wino: how 'bout we both shave our noggins and wander around Tribeca in hospital gowns asking 'Where do you live?'

My long hair incidents have gone up to an alarming level, last night I had a work thing and then I went out for a few with my buddy I work with and we were at this bar on Houston street and this super drunk, angry, closeted native american indian dude got progressively more drunk and angry and gay and started playing with my hair and asking me how many times I've been shot and so I had to wrap up the evening with a sort of backing out of the bar saying "Look dude, I know you're angry and drunk but we aren't gonna fight OR fuck so safe home and good luck to ya."

Anyway, I think I also need a haircut, but I don't think I'll go back to the baldie.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 March | 11:44

wino: how 'bout we both shave our noggins and wander around Tribeca in hospital gowns asking 'Where do you live?'

That would be soooo hawt.

posted by rainbaby 09 March | 11:49

Another vote to shave them. You can grow them back if you miss them.

posted by heatherann 09 March | 11:51

If I may say so too, keep them. Reading your posts and seeing the pic, I think they fit the personality. Cute and unusual, you know?

posted by carmina 09 March | 11:51

When I had my chops, I only ever got compliments from dudes. So I got rid of 'em. Now I don't get any compliments from chicks OR dudes.

I'm thinking about growing out my unibrow.

posted by gigawhat? 09 March | 12:12

(BTW, Wino: your idea is working quite swimmingly. I owe you a libation and some of that caramel beef stuff you're always raving about)

posted by jonmc 09 March | 12:15

Caramel pork, smells like hot garbage, tastes like heaven.
My pleasure brother, glad it's working. I am so rarely right about anything, I'm very pleased.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 March | 12:40

wino: how 'bout we both shave our noggins and wander around Tribeca in hospital gowns asking 'Where do you live?'

That sounds like fun. :^)

posted by deborah 09 March | 14:44

actually, deb, most of the time, me & wino wouldn't even need the hospital gowns and shaved heads to make the escaped loony shtick work.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 14:47

Can I be the Miggs to you guys's Lecter?

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 15:36

viva the chops, jon

posted by keswick 09 March | 15:46

that depends, can you shoot for accuracy as well as distance?

posted by jonmc 09 March | 15:46

Neither, but I've got one hell of a sniffer.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 16:36

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