1. Sometimes stupid commercials make me cry.

2. Though I've successfully hidden it from almost everyone currently in my life (self-preservation), I'm a pretty gushy romantic.

3. I've got some kinky in me, yes I do, but I'm usually too shy to show it.

4. Despite my calm exterior, anxiety is my middle name. (Not literally, of course. My real middle name starts with a J.)

5. Anyone who knows me would call me a very private person. That's inaccurate. I'm not private -- I just don't like talking about myself because I'm pretty sure that no one's ever really interested enough to hear it.

1. I also cry at commercials, and the paper, movies, television shows . . . almost anything can get me going. Last night I was crying to Harry Chapin on the radio!

2. I am angry often at people I don't know; sometimes it consumes me.

3. I am pretty introverted.

4. Related to #2, I often daydream about kicking the living shit out of people who irritate me.

5. Despite all the above, I consider myself essentially a very gentle person. Just one with angry violent tendencies that remain inside me. "Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes." - WW

I'm supposed to be surprised by #4, meal?

I dunno what the hell I'm doing. I should have written "5. Despite #s 2 and 4, I consider myself . . ."

1. My running internal monologue is peppered with profanity.

2. Right now, my fondest dream is learn how to surf so I can hang 10 with the other wahine.

3. My thoughts, tastes, and worldviews tend to be much more edgy than my outward appearance would lend one to believe. I look pretty mild-mannered, but there are few ideas, creations, or elements of the human condition I'm afraid of or shocked by.

4. I'm extremely impatient. I want it all to happen right now.

5.I'm a perfectionist.

I'm supposed to be surprised by #4, meal?

well, you've seen me drink. someone that i don't know very well was shocked recently when i got a beer...and then another. go figure.

That person hasn't been on IRC with you either. :)

Heh. True, that.

(Stupid computer logging me into the wrong account...)

I never know how I look to anyone - I usually assume that I'm invisible and then I'm always kind of shocked when that turns out not to be true. But one of my best friends berated me for this tendency saying, look, you're almost 6' tall with flaming red hair, you wear miniskirts and biker boots & have tattoos, what do you think people think? I had honestly sort of never realized all this. Add #6 to the list below: I am dumb as a post. But anyway, going with that assumption on my appearance, here

1. In some ways I am very much an old fashioned girl - I take things seriously, believe in true love, and don't half mind being a housewife.
2. I am actually quite shy (until the beer takes hold.)
3. I can be really mean, sarcastic and nasty, but I usually manage to keep this tendency in check.
4. I'm actually more of a morning person and I only very rarely stay up late at night. Generally I'm asleep by 11:30 or so.
5. I'm lazy and a complete slacker with a bad attitude. Oh wait, that isn't surprising.

1. I love corny kids entertainment.
2. I've tried caviar and liked it.
3. I can be almost dippily romantic.
4. I love hanging around libraries.
5. I've often thought of getting a job working with the mentally disabled.
6. (bonus) like mgl and others, I have an old-fashioned values streak.

Apparently I'm perceived as quite intimidating but I still don't know why and my friend's have yet to explain this to my satisfaction.

1: I cry in movies. Lots of movies. I cried in Aladin and the Lion King. I am the perfect movie audience because I let the movie tell me how to feel and who is good and who is bad. I don't think.

2: I don't really want to be single for the rest of my life but that seems to be how everyone else thinks I want to live.

3: Despite how my friend's see me I am actually a happy person. Inside I'm content. The anger and cynicism are merely for show. Well, mostly for show. The anger has always been there but I'm good at controlling it.

4: The inside of my head is a busy place but no one's ever been let inside. I like to pass it off as if nothings going on but usually there's quite a lot. Sometimes it take too much effort to explain this to people.

5: I have a small apathy problem. I've lost the ability to care about things related to my work. I want my PhD with as little hassle as possible. I'm not staying in academia so effort is for chumps :P

I dunno if I can come up with 5. Let's see.

1) Like MGL, my friends think I am dumb. They often point out that at 6'3" and somewhat too heavy for my own good, it's hard to miss me in a crowd. Depsite that, I assume I can blend in, which is somehwat foolish it seems.
2) I, too, have an internal dialogue that is often much more cruel than I would like people to think. In action, I am a kind, and generally thoughtful guy, but in my mind, I can be rather heartless.
3) I also have a tendency toward glass houses. I can't help it.
4) I come from a long line of crazies. At least, on my Dad's side anyway.
5) I don't have a 5. Yet.

What is this, post-secret? :)

1. I'm quite unsure of myself, and deeply doubt my academic abilities, all report cards, reference letters, and (former?) academic career goals to the contrary.
2. It really bothers me that I haven't dated very many people. The independent/bitter/sarcastic thing is only half-true.
3. Some days, I really miss being a Christian.
4. My Flickr page features my roommates' cats, but I secretly really want a dog. A big dog. Great Danes make my heart melt.
5. Ceci n'est pas un cinq.

First of all, lunaticfringe and I have a lot in common.

1. I have been told a surprising number of times that I'm intimidating. The people that tell me that are always the people who intimidate me the most.
2. In my early 20s, I rapidly gained and lost 40 pounds. A lot of current friends don't know that.
3. People are always surprised to find out that I'm a huge fan of Howard Stern. I got Sirius radio because of him.
4. I nearly failed out of college my freshman year.
5. Despite feeling an attachment to many of the cultural aspects of my religion, I have never believed in God.

Intriguing question! How sure can anyone be about the way they present their self? I like to think I'm pretty transparent, but I imagine some of these might be in contrast to my appearance:

1) I'm actually from a really small town and have shoveled more than my share of cement, hay, and shit. On one occasion, all at the same time.
2) I consider myself a very religious person, although I've recently left Catholicism.
3) I am often very very fussy about stuff that I think I have some degree of control over.
4) I actually spend more than thirty seconds deciding what to wear. In fact, it takes me forever to get ready for anything remotely formal, because I want to look just so.
5) I live (and have lived) a much more conservative life than you'd think-- with the exception of roller derby, of course.

1) Although I can sometimes give the impression of being intellectual, it's because I have a retentive memory for trivia. I'm really an intellectual lightweight.

2) I prefer things a little (but only a little) non-vanilla.

3) Even though I was married for a few years, I often tell people that I've always lived alone. It's as if I forgot I had a husband at one time.

4) I have no idea whatsoever about fashion or style and find shopping for clothes an ordeal.

5) Nobody has ever asked me to dance.

wanna dance?

(I can only slam dance, but what the hell..)

5) Nobody has ever asked me to dance.

Girl, you should try swing dancing! That will bring your streak to an end ASAP.

jonmc, miko, you rock.

I think I'm fairly transparent but I'll try:

1. I look like I wouldn't say shit if I had a mouthful, but I have quite the potty mouth.
2. Similar to #1 - I'm not as vanilla (sex-wise) as I look.
3. I come across as placid and laid-back but I'm truly a mess mentally/emotionally.
4. I have evil/violent thoughts (harming people I'm angry at, etc.) that scare me.
5. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I dress very carefully and am probably wearing the third or fourth thing I tried on.

1. People that meet me IRL tend to assume I am/my life is much more sweet, innocent, and vanilla than is true.
2. People that meet me online tend to assume that I am/my life is much more kinky and salacious than is true.
3. I don't wear makeup and I don't dress up, but I get into stuff like What Not To Wear and similar makeover-style books/shows.
4. Apparently some people think of me as "independent" but: I've never lived alone and I've always been scared to be alone at night.
5. Apparently some people think of me as "bold" or "opinionated" but: I censor myself quite a bit.

1. I'm shy and nervous;
2. I don't like travelling in third-world countries;
3. I hardly listened to music till I was about 15;
4. I lived in a trailer as a child;
5. I don't like Belgian beer.

Hmm, some common themes developing here.

1. I am seen as someone who is always willing to help out, but my interior thoughts are usually much less charitable towards other humans than my actions indicate;
2. I project an appearance of being calm and unaffected by things around me, but inside I am an emotional fucking wreck about almost everything and am scared of failing at every single thing I try;
3. I strongly advocate modern thinking with regard to relationships, but would happily settle down as the breadwinner of a family with a wife who stays at home and plays housewife;
4. People often perceive that I tend to blurt things out without thinking, but the truth is that I usually think quite a bit about everything I say. I am too embarrased to admit this, because some of the things I say are pretty stupid and it it better to be thought of as impulsive than an idiot.
5. Some people view me as something of an expert in a couple of areas, but I mostly bluff my way through on things I half know and half make up.

dg, all yours except (4) are also uncannily applicable to me.

Ditto what nomis said. Except that I'd be the wife that stays home. I'm pretty sure I would ultimately find that excruciatingly boring, but right now it sounds like a fine idea.