MetaChat - "Purple Nurple Phil" Finally Sentenced...

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02 March 2006

"Purple Nurple Phil" Finally Sentenced... →[More:]But "The Wet Willie Kid" Still On The Run!

post by: It's Raining Florence Henderson at: 15:56 | 11 comments

Sheesh. What's the world coming to when you can't even twist a friend's nipple while waiting in line at the deli? Poor kid.

posted by taz 02 March | 16:01

Guess it wasn't kosher.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 02 March | 16:02

A teen who pinched and twisted another boy's nipple while standing in line at a deli has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention because he refused to write a letter that explained his actions.

What would that letter have said, anyway?

"Um, yeah, like so I positioned my fingers close to Bobby's chestal area, located the nipple, pinched, squeezed, and twisted. That was pretty much it. Then I ordered pastrami on rye with mustard and a pickle."

posted by mudpuppie 02 March | 16:06

..and a Coke.

posted by me3dia 02 March | 16:08

The teen said he presented a rough draft of his letter in the third session. He said he balked when told he must also describe his "criminal thought processes."

Right, because when a teenage guy is rough-housing, he's thinking about his criminal intent.

Jeeeezus.

posted by Specklet 02 March | 16:09

Man, good thing he didn't go for the atomic wedgie.

posted by arse_hat 02 March | 16:12

Samokritika?

posted by Hugh Janus 02 March | 16:13

Specklet, I couldn't agree more with your "Jeeeezus". That's fucking goofy.

now I am laughing quietly at that joke about Mickey Mouse

posted by richat 02 March | 16:17

You know, adults have really mucked up this planet.

posted by jelly 02 March | 16:26

hopefully the kid's parents have schooled him on ham-fisted authority figures.

posted by mcgraw 02 March | 16:56

Holy cow, my sister would be imprisoned for life.

posted by tracicle 02 March | 16:58

← Mostly guiltless snacks? || Penis. (sfw) →

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