There's a woman who likes the Beatles so much that she gets John Lennon's face tattooed on her inner right thigh and Paul McCartney on her left. But when the tatto artist is done, she's dissatisfied with the results.
"This dosen't look anything like them," she says.
"Yes, it does," the tatooist answers.
They go back and forth for awhile and finally the tatooist suggests the find an impartial observer. They walk out on the street and find a wino. The girl lifts her skirts and the tattooist points.
"Does that look like John Lennon?"
"Well, does that look like Paul McCartney?"
"I dunno, but that guy in the middle with the beard and the bad breath, that's gotta be Willie Nelson."
I know thousands of jokes for every occasion. What are you looking for?
The biggest laughs usually come from tension and over-stepping lines.
That's why there are so many un-PC jokes such as:
How can you tell when a kid is half black and half Polish? He is running down the street with your bike under his arm.
That jokes plays on two generalizations which are unfair and un-pc. But its not only race that works:
Why haven't we sent any women to the moon? It doesn't need any cleaning yet.
People know thinking that way is patently wrong, but that is why they laugh.
Of course, crude works, as well:
Whats the worst part of going down on your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin.
That's crude. So is this one:
Guy goes into the pharmacist and says "I need birth control for my 12 year old daughter." "Your 12 year old daughter is sexually active?" "No. She just lays there like her mother."
Of course, there are cleaner jokes (I call them "Dad jokes"), but they never get as good laughs.
And then there are narrative jokes which are longer (like growabrain). If you like those, I can tell you some good ones that always get laughs.
But jokes require good delivery and associative thinking. Get a repertoire going, and master their delivery. After a while, jokes are easier to remember because they all really riffs on the same things.
So this baby polar bear goes to his father and says "Pops, am I a polar bear?"
And the father says "Darn tootin' son o' mine, a ginuine seal killin' polaroonie."
and the kid says ok and wanders off. About an hour later he ask the father again "Dad, are you sure I'm really a polar bear?"
and the dad is a little annoyed but he says, "yeah son, you're a polar bear." So the son says ok and wanders off. About an hour later he finds his mom and says, "mom am I a polar bear?" and the dad hears him and rushes over, pissed and says "For the last time son, yes, you are a polar bear. Why do you keep asking that?"