Have I told you about the time I drank a glass of phlegm my friend coughed up? No? Ok, come on in!→[More:]

This happened maybe a year ago or so. I'm sitting at my computer as usual, drinking a glass of water. My family is about to go out to eat for some damn reason or another. We went to Outback Steak House. I can't remember exactly what I had, but I had a lot of it. So much so that it gave me wicked heartburn, which is pretty regular for me. I can drink a glass of water and get heartburn.

Anyway, while my family is eating my friend decides to come over to my house and chill out for a while, which isn't unusual. He knows the code to our garage door and we don't really care if he's in our house while we aren't. So Jon decides to hop on the internet, via my computer. Here's the thing though. Jon has kind of a cold. You know how you get that nasty phlegm build-up in your throat when your nose is draining? Yeah it sucks.

So Jon, being particularly phlegmy, decides to spit out his loogies into the very same glass I was drinking out of. Yeah. So he's at my house for an hour, hour and half tops. The whole time he's spittin that mucus into my glass. After a bit he leaves.

Back to me. We're driving home from the Outback and man is my heartburn killing me. I better get back to the house and take some medication for it. We get home, I run upstairs, meds in hand, looking for my glass of water to swallow them with. Apparently, Jon has left my glass in exactly the same spot as I did, so I didn't think anything was up with it. It's kinda dark and I can see a few ounces left in my glass so I take a big ol' swig of it and swallow my pills. Yummy.

It's only later on I actually look in the glass and see that my water kinda looks funny. Kinda cloudy. It's at this point that I contemplate "Hm, there's no way I just drank Jons hacked-up mucus, is there?" I try not to dwell on it for too long.

A few days later I inquire to Jon if he was using my glass as a spitoon. He says yes. I tell him what happened and begin to feel just a little sick.

So, I swallowed some pills with a nice glass of phlegmy hacked-up mucus. I don't think too many people can say that. Take that, Fear Factor!