MetaChat - Askmecha: What's up with Meatloaf?

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21 February 2006

Askmecha: What's up with Meatloaf? There's this question that's been bugging me, and it's right up there with "what is the meaning of life" for me. What i want to know is, what is it exactly that Meatloaf (the bat out of hell artist) won't do for love? He says "I would do anything for love but i won't do that." He even says he'd run right into hell and back...so what exactly can be worse that running right into hell? I need to know what "that" is coz it's driving me nuts.
Thanks.

post by: ramix at: 15:46 | 50 comments

If Meatloaf is like my ex-husband, "that" would be buy me tampons.

posted by Specklet 21 February | 15:48

Wikipedia has some theories.

posted by selfnoise 21 February | 15:52

The Fandango.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 February | 15:52

I've bought girlfried's tampoons, and I realize that it's just a fact of life, yadda yadda, it's a beautiful thing, let's all hang tampax from the christmas tree, etc....

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like a prize putz walking down the street carry a bag with 'Always' clearly visible through the plastic.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 15:54

This really bothers people? I always thought it was a TV thing...

I'm a lot more embarressed buying lubricant, to be honest.

posted by selfnoise 21 February | 15:55

I'm a lot more embarressed buying Meatloaf, to be honest.

posted by danostuporstar 21 February | 15:58

I'm more embarassed to be seen lubricating my meatloaf, to be honest.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 15:59

"Bullshit! You dropped your tampons, Satan."

I go with selfnoise. I never understood the confusion.

And it's Meat Loaf. Mr. Loaf if you're nasty.

posted by Eideteker 21 February | 16:00

I'm never embarrassed to buy lube. It means: "I'm having sex tonight. More sex than would ordinarily be biologically possible. And in places sex was probably not meant to be had."

posted by Eideteker 21 February | 16:02

You mean like phone booths?

posted by dg 21 February | 16:03

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who smoked. Once or twice he arm-twisted me into buying him cigarettes. That was embarrassing. I felt as if people were going to point and laugh and say "Who are you kidding? You don't smoke!" (This was a long time ago, when smokers thought they were infinitely cooler than us uptight goody-two-shoes non-smokers. And I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now.)

For some reason neither condoms nor lube have seemed like much of a big deal in comparison.

posted by tangerine 21 February | 16:04

Why the hell would a dude be embarassed buying tampons? I mean seriously? You think people are going to think they're for you? That you have a hoo-hoo-dilly instead of a wing-wang down there?

posted by Capn 21 February | 16:07

I think the embarrassment comes from the idea that you are the errand boy of your lady friend.

Now, having said that, I have purchased many a feminine product in my time. These days, my wife's a diva, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.

*thinks capn just wanted to trot out the words hoo-hoo-dilly and wing-wang*

posted by richat 21 February | 16:11

As a slightly overweight woman, the only thing I'm ever embarrassed about is buying candy because I feel like the ppl around me are totally judging me. And hey - some of them are.

Doesn't stop me from buying the candy though.

I did make mr. pode buy me a pregnancy test once though, because we were down in the south and I had worked myself up into a lather about stereotypical christian southerners giving me dirty looks as I, an unmarried woman, bought a test. Obviously I care way too much about what strangers may or may not be thinking of me.

posted by gaspode 21 February | 16:11

I have and shall never ask a gentleman to procure such items on my behalf.

Sure, I might ask to borrow five bucks in an emergency. . . but I'll go to the store my own damn self.

I had a very intimidating boss who would schedule meetings after lunch and breeze in and plop down her clear phasic bag with "Always" showing through. Intimidated the hell outta men. Brilliant.

Come on. It's primal. It's taboo. Get yer own stuff ladies: put another drop in the love bucket.

posted by rainbaby 21 February | 16:13

I do have an issue with buying feminine hygiene products, although it has nothing to do with the above. I just find that there are a million subtly different versions of these devices, and you get in trouble if you get the wrong one, but I just have no intuition with these things. It's like when my wife buys me a video-game and gets the Xbox version instead of the Gamecube version. It seems obvious to me, and yet...

posted by selfnoise 21 February | 16:14

plastic, not phasic. stoopid spell check

posted by rainbaby 21 February | 16:14

*thinks capn just wanted to trot out the words hoo-hoo-dilly and wing-wang*

They're on to me!

posted by Capn 21 February | 16:17

Why the hell would a dude be embarassed buying tampons? I mean seriously? You think people are going to think they're for you? That you have a hoo-hoo-dilly instead of a wing-wang down there?

This is what I yelled at my ex. What a ninny.

Sure, I might ask to borrow five bucks in an emergency. . . but I'll go to the store my own damn self.

I'll be goddamned if I'm going to make a special trip to the store to get absorbant cotton to stuff up my ziggy to sop up my menstrual blood when someone I live with is going to the store anyway.

posted by Specklet 21 February | 16:22

Plus, I hope you all aren't going to start raggin' on the 'loaf. I'm kinda prayin' for the end of time, myself.

posted by dg 21 February | 16:23

hmmmm... and here I was wondering why I had never encountered a phasic bag and why that would be intimidating. It would probably be worse if it was lubricated and had a meatloaf in it. Even worse if it was a lubricated meatloaf -- that would intimidate anyone.

posted by warbaby 21 February | 16:23

Meatloaf won't felch.

posted by King of Prontopia 21 February | 16:25

Well, if he's not going to felch, there's nothing for it. We'll just have to lubricate him and throw him in a phasic bag.

posted by selfnoise 21 February | 16:26

absorbant cotton to stuff up my ziggy

Brilliant. That's their new name, in my book. Thanks, Speck.

posted by Miko 21 February | 16:26

I love buying tampons. Sometimes I buy 'em when I haven't even been asked. Of all the various techniques for dealing with anyone in line or a clerk giving you a funny look my current favorite is just a huge amount of eyebrow wiggling and winking, just way too much. It's great.

I'm not sure what meatloaf would not do for love, personally I would do anything for love, no exceptions.

posted by Divine_Wino 21 February | 16:27

Y'all boys gotta take the pride in buying tampons. Don't think "Damn, am I whipped;" think "Yo, I have a woman at home. All the time. Be jealous."

*Strange thought. Of all the places it would be interesting to be able to read minds (subway, restaurant, club etc.), the drugstore would probably be one of the most interesting. Now that I look back, I can think about how many of the most intense moments of my interior life took place in a drugstore. I mean, you're there for some sort of personal intimate reason, be it a pregnancy test, birth control, illness, or just buying the gf's plugs.

posted by Miko 21 February | 16:32

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by danostuporstar 21 February | 16:37

I love buying tampons.

That explains this years kwanzaa present. Oh well, it's the thought that counts, I guess.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 16:41

I thought you would love the Marcus Garvy Black Star Line extra-absorbent, what can I say?

posted by Divine_Wino 21 February | 16:48

Dude, it's the Angela Davis line that's extra absorbent. Can't you read, brotha?

posted by jonmc 21 February | 16:57

Back in the day, I was kinda embarrassed to go out for what Science Girl discretely refers to as "girl supplies". Now, it doesn't faze me in the least. I still get a little shy buying condoms from women checkers, though. I always picture them mentally rolling their eyes, and one or two have physically done so. Maybe it's because I get the extra-long, double-wide, one-imperial-pint reservoir tips kind. I dunno.

Speckelt, I've never heard anyone refer to their yoni as a "ziggy" before, although I have heard the term "snoopy" used.

posted by bmarkey 21 February | 17:29

Oh, and Meat Loaf won't do the dishes, the selfish bastard.

posted by bmarkey 21 February | 17:29

Yoni, ziggy, cookie, cunt, kootchie, all these I have called my vulva/vagina. I think I got ziggy from my mom...

posted by Specklet 21 February | 17:51

Ziggy? I don't want the thought of a fat cartoon character or a heavily made-up Bowie spoiling my Specklet fantasies, darling.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 17:56

As a slightly overweight woman,

Hearing that from you makes me mourn for the state of humanity. I have literally described you to people as 'my favorite female superhero.' You deserve exactly zero self-image troubles.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 18:02

Okay, Jon, forget ziggy, replace with your favorite word for fun girl parts.

posted by Specklet 21 February | 18:20

I actually prefer 'muff,' it sounds so...friendly. The words for the fun male parts are equally bad. 'cock' is about the best. 'dick' just sounds stupid.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 18:24

It's Magic Johnson and the Magic Johnson Cozie. 3 from the key, baby. Nothing but net!

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 February | 18:29

Oh, he drained that one!

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 February | 18:30

And other assorted sports metaphors...

But, "cozie." Yeah.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 February | 18:31

IRFH, is that pronounced "coo-zie" or "cozy"?

posted by Specklet 21 February | 18:50

I'm guessing the usage would probably vary according to... the usage.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 February | 18:55

jonmc, dude. I can admit I'm a bit overweight and yet not have a problem with it. I don't have too much going on with self-image issues.

Specklet: cookie as a word for my pink bits would just be confusing.

posted by gaspode 21 February | 19:35

Oh, but it makes for some pretty good jokes, though, gaspode...

posted by Specklet 21 February | 19:49

Specklet: cookie as a word for my pink bits would just be confusing.

And would make Cookie Monster difficult to deal with.

jonmc, dude. I can admit I'm a bit overweight and yet not have a problem with it. I don't have too much going on with self-image issues.

That's cool. But you deserve to know that you're a superhero.

posted by jonmc 21 February | 19:54

PinkBitsSuperhero.

posted by Specklet 21 February | 20:03

I predict large sales figures for that particular comic book.

posted by bmarkey 21 February | 20:13

cookie as a word for my pink bits would just be confusing.
It would sure confuse the hell out of all those control-freaks who refuse to allow their browser to accept cookies in case someone spams them. I can just picture them now: "Oh shit, do I accept this cookie or don't I?" "I mean, it smells nice and all, but it looks like it might be trouble".

posted by dg 22 February | 03:28

some mornings coming to MeCha is like having my own personal comedy troupe.

posted by gaspode 22 February | 09:42

LT looks in his pants and asks, "so, dude - girls are calling their stuff Ziggy, Pinkbits, etc. What do you want to be known as?"

LT's Thing: "The Holy Iguana! And if anyone's asking, I'm not here!"

LT: "...."

posted by Lipstick Thespian 22 February | 15:28

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