Establishing a tuition account for the baby sounds like a *great* idea, especially if you know other people who would be interested in donating. I imagine it would be so comforting to this poor widow knowing that her child will be able to have some help with college.

That does sound like a great idea. I'd go for it.

(unless she will need help in the immediate, until life insurance comes in, in which case maybe you could call the utility companies and prepay a few months for her?)

Also, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. *hug*

Flowers & a promise to be there for them, if you were close.

Compound interest over 18 years can rack up a pretty impressive nest egg, even if you only donate once, at the beginning. I'd second the account.

how awful...a college fund is a great idea, but make in the mom's name in trust for the kid or something, so if she needs it, she can get at it.

You might want to talk to a financial planner or something before you open any accounts. You don't want to set it up in such a way that the mom has to pay tax on the money like it's a gift.

It's not impossible or even tacky to give a note "we'd like to set something up for the baby." And then you can discuss things with them, but the sentiment is still the same.

I'd also point out that kids have financial needs prior to college -- eyeglasses, camp, possible medical bills, you name it. Depending on the circumstances, I'd talk with a financial planner about setting up a "trust fund" that can be used by the child for a variety of different needs.

(My father passed away when I was quite young, and a number of his army buddies paid for a fund like this for me, although I didn't know about it until many years later -- until I used the remainder to pay for my first year of college, in fact. I know that there are many things I was able to do as a child/young adult which were important at the time (including necessary things like glasses and eye surgery, but also 'fun' things like theatre camp) that she never would have been able to provide without that fund.)

Also, if you and your friends have photos of the family together, take some time to put together an album, and perhaps a videotape of memories of the dad. Give it as a gift to both of them. By the time I was able to ask questions about my father, my mom was long out of touch with many people who could have told me more about what kind of man my dad was. I would give anything, to this day, to have some of those types of memories available to me.

anastasiav: Thank you for the fantastic response. We never would've considered having a video put together, but that is a beautiful and fantastic idea.

We'll definitely do that, along with some form of child expense fund.

I'm really sorry for your loss, mosch. That's a crappy situation for all involved. I think anastasiav is totally right on. In addition, don't forget to pour on the kindness when the baby's born. Newborns can be really overwhelming and she's probably going to go into a whole fresh mourning spiral. Little things like dropping off/ordering some premade meals or offering to sit with the baby for a few hours while she showers/takes a nap would probably be greatly appreciated.