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MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

16 February 2006

What's not OK?
post by: Specklet at: 11:05 | 85 comments
*valley girl accent*

Um, seriously, it's, like, TOTALLY not ok to ask what's not OK, okay?

Well d'uh.

Ask that often enough and someone will tell you that my haircut's not OK 'cuz it's too geeky or something.

OK!?

Stream-of-consciousness kidding but probably not funny ;-)
posted by shane 16 February | 11:08
Wearing socks with sandals. Especially dark socks with light sandals. Unless you are European, but keep it in Europe, please?
posted by matildaben 16 February | 11:16
It's not ok to tell your girlfriend you're not attracted to her since she's gained some weight.
posted by chiababe 16 February | 11:17
It's not OK to wear navy & black or brown & black. I don't care if everyone else does it. I don't care if you think it's OK.

It's not OK to stand in the middle of the escalator.

It's not OK to leave your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle.

It's not OK to sit across from your friend on a train or bus and yell across the aisle: you can either stand & talk or sit & shut the fuck up.
posted by dame 16 February | 11:18
I ♥ily agree with dame, except that I ♥ wearing brown and black. I just won't wear it around dame.
posted by shane 16 February | 11:22
Your leg on my thigh.
posted by mcgraw 16 February | 11:27
just kidding!
posted by mcgraw 16 February | 11:27
It is not OK to set a check-out time of 11 am when I have a train to catch at 7:30 am. Bastards.
posted by cmonkey 16 February | 11:28
It's not OK to stand in the middle of the escalator.

I would broaden this to "It's not OK to stand on the escalator." That's like the people who stand on the moving walkways at the airport. They aren't free transportation, they are supposed to help you get where you're going faster.
posted by sciurus 16 February | 11:29
It's not OK that the stupid toaster just burned my last bagel.
posted by dame 16 February | 11:29
It's not ok to get mad at me for leaving a towel on the floor, then do it yourself.
posted by agropyron 16 February | 11:31
It's not OK to wear running shoes and white athletic socks over your pantyhose, with your heinous beige suit with the floppy collar & creepy little tie from Sears, okay? I don't care if you want to walk around on your lunch hour, wear grown up shoes or change the whole shebang into sweats.

It is also not OK to come to a full stop on a busy road before you turn right onto a much smaller road, when you could have just slowed down and smoothly turned instead of stopping like a jackass when there isn't even anything that could hit you.
posted by mygothlaundry 16 February | 11:32
Wait, I thought that's what escalators and moving sidewalks were FOR. I like just standing there and being dreamily wafted to my destination. It's awesome.
posted by mygothlaundry 16 February | 11:33
It's not okay to walk around the grocery store or Wal-Mart or wherever in a daze, blocking aisles and running into people in a BUYBUYBUY!-haze, with no sense of self-awareness or awareness of others in the infinite bliss of human consumerism craziness.
posted by shane 16 February | 11:33
The 80's revival is not OK. Let that ugly decade die already.

posted by jonmc 16 February | 11:34
IT'S NOT OK BLOCK TRAFFIC BY MAKING A TURN WITHOUT USING THE TURNING LANE!
posted by shane 16 February | 11:34
It's not okay to broaden "It's not OK to stand in the middle of the escalator." to "It's not OK to stand on the escalator." because some people have bad knees.
posted by Specklet 16 February | 11:37
It's not OK to purport to drive stick and then not know how to use the clutch properly.

It's not OK to fail to speak up about wanting some of my dinner and then take the last bite that I was saving because it was the perfect combination of meat and vegetables.

It's not OK to spend the whole morning reading metachat :)
posted by gaspode 16 February | 11:38
It's not OK to assume that pushing an SUV-sized stroller gives you the right-of-way in every public space.

It's not OK when you drop your coffee mug and lose your entire morning's coffee on the steps of your building in one go.
posted by Miko 16 February | 11:39
two things are not okay:
1) unwanted physical contact (was just talking to someone who was "rubbed" by some Folsom Street Fair-goers and I was like 'you know, the fair is okay, bondage is okay, piercings are okay, taking your lover around town on a leash is okay, but rubbing yourself against innocent bystanders on the Muni is not okay).
2) any judgment or pressure against someone's personal choices about drugs (everyone gets to draw their own boundaries and it's just never cool to mock, cajole, beg, embarass, or otherwise pressure them out of them. This is a key condition of being able to have drugs at all - they've gotta be used responsibly, the first component of which is choice).

Those 2 are big for me. Driving at night with no headlights is also up there.
posted by scarabic 16 February | 11:43
Nothing. It's all ok. Thanks for asking.
posted by peacay 16 February | 11:44
taking your lover around town on a leash is okay,

as long as you clean up after their droppings, of course.
posted by jonmc 16 February | 11:44
IT'S NOT OK BLOCK TRAFFIC BY MAKING A TURN WITHOUT USING THE TURNING LANE!

Damn straight it's not OK!

It's not OK to not use turn signals.
posted by sisterhavana 16 February | 11:46
It's usually not OK to pass on the right on the highway, although almost everyone appears not to know that.
posted by Miko 16 February | 11:47
It is not OK to have the sniffles near me, and not do anything about them.

*snif* *snif* *sniiiiiifff*
posted by sarah connor 16 February | 11:49
Closing one of the few bright spots for inter-cultural and class mixing in town to replace it with more faceless office space for banks that don't employ the chronically-underemployed of the state: not okay.

Pulling your kid out of school and endangering his education and future because you don't agree with his class reading "Girl, Interrupted": not okay. Or at least stupid.
posted by selfnoise 16 February | 11:49
Yeah, I don't care if you stand on the escalator or moving walkway as long as I can get by.

Also, it's not OK to try to get on the train before everyone else has gotten off. It's rude & inefficient.

It's not OK to be against the eighties revival.
posted by dame 16 February | 11:50
It's not okay to feel like an ass because you can't stop sniffling around your co-workers. And it's not okay to feel like a loser because you leave work sick and am afraid it will reflect negatively on you at a time when you are primed to take your boss's job because she got promoted (I'm SICK, ok?? I care about my job, but I can't even fucking see straight because I keep sneezing!).

It's not okay that being sick kills my libido.

It's not okay that your Lexus has to take up a spot and a half, and it's not okay when you give me a dirty look because my door bumped yours because you park like an assfuck.

Okay??
posted by tr33hggr 16 February | 11:55
It's not OK to be against the eighties revival.

It is if you had live through the eighties the first time around.
posted by jonmc 16 February | 11:57
Also, it's not OK to try to get on the train before everyone else has gotten off. It's rude & inefficient.

It's not only not ok, you are asking to get yourself a serious wishing of intense, sudden and irreversible colon extrusion. Not to mention a Tony Robbins level visualization of what you would look like with one of those giant Chinese meat cleavers neatly bisecting your stupid, pushy, social-contract breaking puffy selfish face.
posted by Divine_Wino 16 February | 11:57
It's not OK to stand in front of the doors to the subway just inside the door and refuse to move your fat ass into the train, so I have to miss the train.

It's not OK to be anything less than honest.

It's not OK to have your underwear showing over the top of your jeans.

It's not OK to call me when an e-mail would do just as well.

It's not OK to post on MetaChat when you have TONS of work to do. I sorry.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 16 February | 12:02
miko, a corollary to yours: It's not okay to drive below the speed limit in the left lane and refuse to get over, thereby forcing people to pass on the right.
posted by mike9322 16 February | 12:02
It's not ok to talk on your cell phone in a public restroom or the gym locker room. I know, blah blah blah, cell phones - I not ranting against them, but it makes me uncomfortable when I'm not wearing pants and you're talking about whatever you are yapping about. It's creepy.
posted by rainbaby 16 February | 12:03
Also, it's not OK to try to get on the train before everyone else has gotten off. It's rude & inefficient.


When I was in DC recently, everyone was doing this. What's up with that? Dame, can you go tell 'em it's not OK?
posted by Miko 16 February | 12:03
It's not OK to have your underwear showing over the top of your jeans.


Ummm, sometimes it is. But that's just the lecherous voyeur in me speaking . . .
posted by tr33hggr 16 February | 12:04
miko, a corollary to yours: It's not okay to drive below the speed limit in the left lane and refuse to get over, thereby forcing people to pass on the right.


That's true. So, to sum up, it's not OK to ignore the Rules of the Road.
posted by Miko 16 February | 12:05
It's not OK to leave a nasty note for your building manager about the leak in the basement without a) telling her about the leak or b) if she's on it, giving her a chance to explain what she's already done about it.

It's not OK to make someone feel like a dishonest unethical slimeball for making an honest mistake while trying to collect unemployment.

It's not OK to tailgate.

It's not OK to hit a dog. Or a person. Or a horse. Or a squirrel.
posted by Specklet 16 February | 12:06
It's not OK to hit a dog. Or a person. Or a horse. Or a squirrel.


Yes. Yes.
posted by tr33hggr 16 February | 12:07
what's wrong with brown&black?

it's not ok to wear trainers & suit trousers. ever.

it's not ok to press your bum into my crotch on the train, unless you're pretty.

it's not ok to have a sloppy snog on a packed train.

it's not ok to use a handsfree kit outside a motor vehicle. you look like a twat.

it's not ok to wear clothes that are too small for you. i don't want to see your muffins.
posted by flopsy 16 February | 12:07
When I was in DC recently, everyone was doing this. What's up with that? Dame, can you go tell 'em it's not OK?


Heh. You can tell them the way I do. By just walking out as if they aren't there at all and maybe lowering your shoulder slightly as you make contact. If you have swimmer's shoulders, it's extra effective. Especially when they're ten-pound hipsters; double especially when they're tottering around on heels they just learned to wear.
posted by dame 16 February | 12:08
it's not ok to use a handsfree kit outside a motor vehicle. you look like a twat.


Oh god yes. Those fucking things make me want to get stabby.
posted by cmonkey 16 February | 12:11
what's wrong with brown&black?


It's really really fucking ugly and doesn't match. But clearly we are from different fashion planets, because cute sneakers + suit pants = TEH HAWT.
posted by dame 16 February | 12:11
It's not ok to chew with your mouth open.

It's not ok to talk about people behind their backs.

It's not ok to be expected to do a job well without resources.

It's not ok for your cell phone to ring in a movie theatre.
posted by chewatadistance 16 February | 12:15
Yeah, dame, I do that subway shit and it knocks 'em clear across the platform and before they can get their footing, the doors are closed and the train starts moving and they start to talk shit and I lean down into their scrawny little neck and say "What?" into their ear, then leave my head there for just long enough fro them to sweat, then I turn slowly and when I hear them mutter something I spin around and a roar comes up from my shoes and they're running and the next train comes but they're already on the sidewalk, chest heaving, pants wet, crying, dizzy, flinching from every bearded man who walks by, hopeless, scared, quiet, late.
posted by Hugh Janus 16 February | 12:16
On the whole brown/black and sneakers/suit pants issue: I think I can imagine instances in which both of these work well. But I can think of far more instances where they do not.

On the handsfree thing: the other day at a fairly nice restaurant, I saw a women wear her bluetooth ear thingy all through dinner. She looked like a dorky, rude, gross Borg. And the last time I was on a plane, the guy sitting next to me was holiding his phone in one hand, his bluetooth in the other, and as he talked would put the bluetooth up to his mouth, then switch it quickly to his ear, clearly not understanding that a) if you can hold your phone, you don't need to use your handsfree device, b) the device has a fucking microphone on it so you can leave it on your ear, and c) a bluetooth does not make you look cool/hip/in the technological know.
posted by Specklet 16 February | 12:23
It's not ok to tell your girlfriend you're not attracted to her since she's gained some weight.


I just went and read that thread. It's gotta be one of the stupidest, most sex-negative, most insensitive, most unrealistic, and most childish discussions I've ever seen in RelationshipFilter. God help that guy, or more to the point, help his girl.
posted by Miko 16 February | 12:28
Of course there's nothing wrong with *him* (OP). He's not getting that beer belly that all men seem to develop starting at age 25, or starting to lose his hair, or ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
posted by matildaben 16 February | 12:30
It's not OK to put your bags on the only empty seat in the carriage and then sneer at me when I ask you politely to move them so I can sit down.

It's not OK to drink & drive. Ever.

It's not OK to get through life by lying, cheating & stealing. Karma, man.

It's not OK to wait until I've laid a nice clean change of clothes out on the bed to decide that's where you're going to sleep.

[This last one directed at the cats, who I am sure are into this computer as soon as I leave the house, because they get up to all sorts of other things they're not supposed to do when they think I'm not watching.]




posted by essexjan 16 February | 12:33
Handsfree device people:

I always want to either order a whopper with extra mayo and a medium Mr. Pibb from them or shout at them like they were an old person with a hearing aid.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 February | 12:35
No, guys. The handsfree people are part of a campaign to make schizophrenics seem less threatening. When everyone is walking around talking to themselves, no one will be crazy.
posted by dame 16 February | 12:38
The weird thing about the fat girlfriend thread is that we have no idea what size she is. She could be a size 0, with a size 4 gut. Oh, the horror!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 16 February | 12:39
When everyone is walking around talking to themselves, no one will be crazy.

My dream world, for sure.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 16 February | 12:46
The handsfree people are part of a campaign to make schizophrenics seem less threatening.

Oh God, yes. I remember when I was living in Florida, I was at the bookstore, and there were four people in front pacing in circles and talking aloud. It's a good thing I eventually noticed the earpieces, because at any moment, i was expecting to see a nurse come by wheeling a cart loaded with dixie cups fulla meds.
posted by jonmc 16 February | 12:46
My uncle once saw a bum "talking" on a banana, walking past all the suits on their lunchbreak, yakking away on their cell phones.
posted by Specklet 16 February | 12:51
It's not ok to tell your girlfriend you're not attracted to her since she's gained some weight.

It's OK to tell chiababe she's wrong, if you do it tactfully.

Also, OK = 15 11
15 = 01111
11 = 01011
NOT 01111 = 10000
NOT 01011 = 10100
10000 = 16
10100 = 20
16 20 = PT
PT != OK
Q.E.D.
posted by Eideteker 16 February | 12:53
Adam Gopnik has a great essay called something like "Running into Charlie Ravioli", which contains a brilliant observation of the way a 5-year-old child interprets and reflects adults' phone conversation behavior.
posted by matildaben 16 February | 12:53
It's not OK to wear your speed skating suit so tight that everyone on national television can see your scrotum, especially since it's so cold that there's nothing BUT scrotum. Oogly.
posted by matildaben 16 February | 12:54
It's also not OK for MetaChat to allow HTML on Preview that you're not allowed to then post.

(I love my handsfree and think holding a phone to my ear is ASININE so there! Do I hold it to my ear? Do I hold it an inch away from my ear? What, I can't type/fold clothes/air drum while holding the phone? FUCK THAT. It's handsfree or speaker, take your pick. And I know you all want to hear all the details of my conversation.)
posted by Eideteker 16 February | 12:56
It's not OK to wear your speed skating suit so tight that everyone on national television can see your scrotum, especially since it's so cold that there's nothing BUT scrotum. Oogly.


Where can I find pictures?
posted by essexjan 16 February | 13:00
My uncle once saw a bum "talking" on a banana, walking past all the suits on their lunchbreak, yakking away on their cell phones.


Woah. I know what I'm doing this afternoon.
posted by cmonkey 16 February | 13:00
When I was in DC recently, everyone was doing this.

You must have limited yourself to the Smithsonian stop.

It's not OK for Dick Cheney to be alive or even undead.
posted by danostuporstar 16 February | 13:04
Hey bean, I googled for that story, and the first link was from languagehat's blog! Hee.
posted by Specklet 16 February | 13:05
I have an exception to the sneakers/slacks rule: when you've just had surgery and have to wear an ankle brace and your work shoes won't fit over the brace. I look like an idiot!
posted by mike9322 16 February | 13:06
It's not OK that swimming is still five hours away. Work, schmork.
posted by dame 16 February | 13:09
schmork sounds like a Yiddish cartoon creature.
posted by jonmc 16 February | 13:11
I used to love watching schmork when I was a kid. Oy, the troubles he got into!
posted by richat 16 February | 13:30
It's not okay that I haven't been very productive at my new job this week.

It's not OK that I haven't gotten enough sleep in two weeks.

It's not OK that this is not because I've been staying up late and having hot, sweaty sex.

posted by Specklet 16 February | 13:31
Oh, and:
1) It's not okay to turn left in front of my right-of-way-having right turn. I don't care if you're in a hurry.
2) It's not okay to cut me off, and then go 10mph under the speed limit just long enough to make me slow right the fuck down, and then speed up when I try to go around you.
2a) It's also not okay for you to cut me off pulling out of your driveway, and then go 10 mph for the rest of the way, in some attempt to punish me for going what you think is "too fast" on your stupid fucking street. You're not the police. Get over it.
3) It's not okay to walk into a store and stop right inside the door, at least, not if you don't want my 6'3" of man to knock your stupid, indecisive ass over.
4) It's not okay to be so self centered that you have no idea that there are other people TRYING to live their lives around you too.

For the most part, I mainly want people to get out of my way. They don't have to do things like I do, but christ on a crutch, let me alone!
posted by richat 16 February | 13:37
Specklet, that languagehat serendipity is great. It's an awesome essay, everyone should read it.

Oh, by the way:

Metachat: Everyone on national television can see your scrotum.
posted by matildaben 16 February | 13:38
Metachat: Everyone on national television can see your scrotum.

Everyone? Right now? Through my pants? What about...

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Hugh Janus 16 February | 13:43
It's not OK to bring your pets to the pound because they don't go well with the carpet you want to get.

posted by sisterhavana 16 February | 13:50
I'm not ok, maaaan! *shakes a bit, looks around anxiously while fingering switchblade in pocket*
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 16 February | 13:54
That thing that one time you did when no one was looking?
SO NOT OK.
posted by krix 16 February | 13:58
That's so true, sis. People do that a lot more than most people imagine. Or other totally specious reasons, like "I didn't know it would shit on the kitchen floor! It's gross!"

"It's a fucking puppy, lady! And no, another breed is no less likely to shit on your floor! Take the time to train it not to, and you'll love each other more! Or go buy one of those fishtank DVDs, you fiend!"

Strange how these made-up conversations have so many exclamation points.

And weretable and the undead chairs, that better be a comb, or I'm sending you to Mrs. Shulik's office and calling your parents for a conference about your behavior, OK?
posted by Hugh Janus 16 February | 13:58
It's not OK to purport to drive stick and then not know how to use the clutch properly.
Has someone been watching The Gauntlet? (That Beth is such a delicious bitch.)

It's not OK to refuse to stop for pedestrians. Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way.
posted by jrossi4r 16 February | 14:13
It's not okay to fuck a guy in ass without having the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around.

So says Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, and I will take his word for it. That not being my speed. Not that there's anything wrong with that Ho ho, I just quoted Seinfeld. My wit has reached all time lows :-(
posted by King of Prontopia 16 February | 14:14
The 80's revival is not OK. Let that ugly decade die already.

posted by jonmc 16 February | 11:34


I've never, ever agreed with a comment this much. Thanks, jonmc. To hell with the 80's!


posted by fake 16 February | 15:30
Has someone been watching The Gauntlet? (That Beth is such a delicious bitch.)

Actually jrossi4r, I have no idea what you're talking about. It's just one of my pet peeves.

of course I think you shouldn't be allowed to own a car if you can't at least change the tires, spark plugs and do an oil and filter change, but I'm obnoxious like that.
posted by gaspode 16 February | 15:49
I cannot even find the sparkplugs in my car. But tires and oil/filter OK.

It is not OK to dump used oil. It is not OK do dump old tires.
posted by sarah connor 16 February | 16:07
It's not ok to touch strangers in the bathing suit area; but it's OK to tell an adult you trust.

It's not Ok to give me death stares from your 5'4 frame because I am trying to figure out what your girlfriends tramp stamp means.

It's not ok to wait until I have given you my id and am fishing for cash to tell me the show is sold out! Dick!
posted by miles 16 February | 16:13
It's not OK to think Gaspode was referring to an MTV reality show where a guy lost a challenge because he told his team he could drive stick and then didn't know how to use the clutch.

It is OK to mock jrossi for watching MTV reality shows.
posted by jrossi4r 16 February | 16:37
Heh, jrossi. I would never mock people for watching MTV reality shows.

*adds Laguna Beach dvd to amazon.com wishlist*
posted by gaspode 16 February | 17:04
It's not OK to bring your pets to the pound because they don't go well with the carpet you want to get.

:^(
posted by deborah 16 February | 19:18
It's not OK to clip your fingernails in public.

It's not OK to blow your nose into a cloth napkin at a restaurant.

It's not OK to talk on your cell phone in a public restroom if other people are in there.

It's not OK to stand 6 inches behind me at line in the grocery store because, you know, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THERE ANY FASTER.

It's not OK to leave your grocery cart in the parking lot when there are cart corrals all over the place, you lazy fuck.

While it's okay to be sit on the street corner and ask for money if you're really, really hard up (I guess, maybe), it's not okay to do that when you have a car and I don't.

If you're tall, it's not okay to sit in front of a short person at a theatre or at a concert. Just scoot over one seat, beanpole. I was here first. (Or, prepare for me to kick your chair for 2 hours. Heh.)

It's not OK to do the speed limit in the passing lane.

It's not OK to go out into public if you're an idiot.

It's not okay to stumble into #metachat and then announce that you dislike Metachat as much as you dislike jesus.

It's not OK to spit on the sidewalk. I don't want to see your bodily fluids, you gross person you.

It's not OK to follow every statement by me with a statement about you.

It's not okay to park 2 feet in front of my greens pile and then, when you drive off, spread it into the middle of the street. I spent hours raking those leaves, dumbass! I don't want to do it again.

It's not OK to tie your dog up outside the store while you're shopping, and then not say "Hi, sweetie!" to him/her when you come out.

It's not OK to file a bogus whistlebower suit against your friend because she's dating your boss, whom you don't like.

It's not okay to take a shit in the litter box and then futilely scratch at the wall in an attempt to cover it up. (I'm looking at you, Cosa.)

[Man, I was kind of in a good mood before I started this.]
posted by mudpuppie 16 February | 20:24
It's not okay that I haven't been very productive at my new job this week.
It's not OK that I haven't gotten enough sleep in two weeks.
It's not OK that this is not because I've been staying up late and having hot, sweaty sex.

Ditto.

of course I think you shouldn't be allowed to own a car if you can't at least change the tires, spark plugs and do an oil and filter change, but I'm obnoxious like that.
Not at all - I agree with all that and add that you should be able to drive a manual ("stick" to you 'merkins, I think) car before you can get a license at all. If you don't have the co-ordination to work a clutch and gear lever, you have no place behind the wheel of over a ton of metal doing 100 km/h in the first place.
posted by dg 17 February | 02:51
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