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12 February 2006

A Glimpse into LT's Sordid Love Life [More:]I have a personal ad up in a local rag that netted this fantastic response. Enjoy!

"Hello from Russia! My name is Liliya. I loved your structure. You very good the man. I want to learn you better. Probably we can find the general future and go on a footpath of the general future. I never was in USA and I shall like to learn a lot of interesting to me. Also I to you shall tell a lot of interesting about Russia. Now at us to become coldly and the temperature of air has decreased to-3 degrees. I know that in USA to be approximately at the same breadth as well as Russia and you test the same climatic cold. You love heat? I have still more many questions for you and I want to learn you better. Please forgive me for imperfect English language. My English the second, which I studied at university. I shall be improved so we can understand each other better. My colloquial English on much better, I can well speak."
In addition to the above, I also dreamt last night that I started a chain of restaurants called Moostang Sallie's, which was a combination gourmet ice-cream parlor and whorehouse.

Take it for what you will. Double-scoops are half-off until Summer.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 12 February | 14:04
That's really sweet. I wonder how Liliya got her hands on the personals section of your local rag.

Hookers and icecream? Two great tastes that taste better togather.
posted by porpoise 12 February | 14:08
Porpoise - why don't American girls love my structure and want to pursue the Path of the General Future with me?
posted by Lipstick Thespian 12 February | 14:15
American girls lack imagination. No Footpaths of the General Future to be explored, no appreciation of structure or breadth. It's a shame, really.
posted by cmonkey 12 February | 14:35
I want to learn you better.

Well, shit, you must be all a-twitter.
posted by jonmc 12 February | 14:36
You love heat?

hah!
posted by amberglow 12 February | 15:04
that's poetry
posted by dodgygeezer 12 February | 15:16
Aw. That's downright diddly adorable.

also, of course - In Soviet Russia, Footpath of the General Future steps on you! sowwy!
posted by taz 12 February | 15:24
With luck, she might know a dead millionaire who has some money tied up in a frozen bank account. You lucky devil, you!
posted by Smart Dalek 12 February | 16:36
No way that that is real. No non-native speaker would make that kind of mistakes. It reads like an elaborate, deliberate fabrication by a native speaker. Entertaining it is, however.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane 12 February | 17:13
If you go on a date, ask her about her five beer plan.
posted by Triode 12 February | 17:15
All I want to know is if the Footpath of the General Future is marked somehow because I don't want to get lost after it gets dark.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 12 February | 18:20
why don't American girls love my structure

American girls are raised with the Hoover Dam and the Space Needle. A structure must be pretty big and impressive to garner their love.
posted by jrossi4r 12 February | 19:42
So jrossi4r - what does that say about Canadian gals (CN Tower, Niagara Falls, the Great White North, the Great Lakes, moose...)?
posted by porpoise 12 February | 20:36
I will totally date Liliya if I can get her to do Natasha's voice and talk dirty to me about Moose and Squirrel.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 12 February | 21:05
Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat!

You've ruined that for me forever, LT.
posted by wendell 12 February | 22:02
Metachat Dream || Because I love you bitches!

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