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09 February 2006

Ways you can wreck a souffle →[More:]

post by: joelf at: 13:18 | 75 comments
You could accidentally decide to bake it in your freezer

Instead of flour: Flower

"Let's make a souffle on the back of a stampeding elephant!"

Sprinkle it with rocks
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:18
put it too close the magnetic field and have it become magnetized. when you go to cut it sticks to your fork and no one is happy.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:20
fun with salt!
posted by gaspode 09 February | 13:22
You could have me try to make it. I would expect substantial fire damage, though.
posted by selfnoise 09 February | 13:23
Dry humping is contraindicated, as well.
posted by jonmc 09 February | 13:23
put in too much sugar, and when you set it down on the counter; it attracts ants.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:23
Leave out the essential ingredient: love.
posted by mike9322 09 February | 13:24
Using panty hose eggs whites.
posted by sciurus 09 February | 13:26
Withhold vitamins till it gets rickets.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 13:26
You could feed it too much jesus juice.
posted by iconomy 09 February | 13:27
Also: beets.
posted by Specklet 09 February | 13:28
Put your oven in the middle of an all night rave.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:28
staring at it till it deflates.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:29
Have it put out (oh sorry, I mean 'drop') a rap song featuring Kevin Federline.
posted by iconomy 09 February | 13:29
shaving a souffle party on the tilt-a-whirl
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:30
Rent it out without a deposit to a bunch of greasy stoners who flunked out of UMass.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 13:31
À bout de souffle
posted by eatitlive 09 February | 13:31
Have it star in a movie with Jennifer Aniston.
posted by iconomy 09 February | 13:32
preheat oven to 1,000 degrees
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:32
Introduce it to Chuck Norris.
posted by iconomy 09 February | 13:32
Have Chuck Norris serve it.
posted by warbaby 09 February | 13:32
fill it with booze and give it the keys to your lamborghini.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:33
haha
posted by iconomy 09 February | 13:33
Let the cat sleep on it.
posted by Specklet 09 February | 13:34
beat it with an OAR
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:36
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
posted by Specklet 09 February | 13:37
Give it the best, most satisfying orgasm of its life and then leave without ever telling it your name.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 13:38
Give it an inflated sense of worth and self esteem, then send it out in to a cold, indifferent world with nothing by a BA in Art History.
posted by Capn 09 February | 13:40
eat it first before cooking it.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:41
1. Bring it to life
2. Bring it to sentience
3. Alert it to the fact that since it was not created by God, it has NO SOUL
posted by Capn 09 February | 13:44
Don't add enough cillantro.
posted by Capn 09 February | 13:44
[Voice of Ann Coulter] You see this souffle? I want you to wreck it.
posted by Wolfdog 09 February | 13:45
run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.
posted by gaspode 09 February | 13:45
tell it it's adopted.
posted by gaspode 09 February | 13:46
4 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
4 eggs
1 human head
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:47
Drive it until its brakes wear off, get sloppy drunk and then go careening down a Vermont mountainside in the middle of a snowstorm.
posted by sciurus 09 February | 13:50
Drive it into oncoming traffic
posted by mike9322 09 February | 13:51
curse you, sciurus (wow, I spelled that without looking!)
posted by mike9322 09 February | 13:51
keep it in your garage and never run it. it will eventually turn into a gel thats difficult to remove.
posted by joelf 09 February | 13:52
Ram it into an iceberg.
posted by sciurus 09 February | 13:52
souffle cannonball.
posted by gaspode 09 February | 13:53
Wash it on the high rpm cycle.
posted by chewatadistance 09 February | 13:54
Let its mother nag it.
posted by sciurus 09 February | 13:59
Let it invest part of itself in privately held retirement accounts similar to 401(k)'s.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 14:03
Two words: Lilliputian Trampoline.
posted by jonmc 09 February | 14:03
Three words: bumble bees added.
posted by Specklet 09 February | 14:27
Four words: I love human flesh.
posted by Hugh Janus 09 February | 14:31
Send it to Thunderdome.
posted by sciurus 09 February | 14:43
Lull it into a false sense of security
posted by mike9322 09 February | 14:55
Wrap it up in bubblegum and send it to the Navy.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 14:57
I thought it was "wash it out with bubblegum and send it to the navy," since the first verse was "baby, baby, stick your head in gravy."

I'm so confused.
posted by jonmc 09 February | 15:14
Make the souffle perfectly but release a 14-foot black mamba into the dining room when serving.
posted by Hugh Janus 09 February | 15:18
Do a movie adaptation of the souffle but set it in 20th LA instead of 15th century Verona.




I thought it was "wash it out with bubblegum and send it to the navy," since the first verse was "baby, baby, stick your head in gravy."

It's regional bro.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 15:25
We come from more or less the same region.
posted by jonmc 09 February | 15:28
I've heard different versions depending on what floor of the building you lived on.
posted by Divine_Wino 09 February | 15:39
somebody needs to make an album of this shit. of course the entire bloody corpus of bubblegum music is kind of an inadvertent one.
posted by jonmc 09 February | 15:44
Serve simultaneously with fruitcake.
posted by chewatadistance 09 February | 15:47
Give it whuffles.
posted by me3dia 09 February | 16:10
wouldn't that be pronounced 'whuf-lays' me3dia?
posted by jonmc 09 February | 16:12
Name it "Edmund Fitzgerald".
posted by taz 09 February | 17:10
Make the souffle perfectly but release a 14-foot black mamba into the dining room when serving.
Snakes on a pain!
posted by Capn 09 February | 17:21
Unacceptable substitutions:

Flour - 1978 Jethro Tull World Tour t-shirt
Salt - spackle
Eggs - Flava Flav
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 17:30
"butter?"
"no i'm out"

"how about crisco or margarine?"
"nope"

"Axel grease?"
"Yeah!"
posted by joelf 09 February | 17:34
Beat the eggs with a bat. If you are a pacifist, verbally abuse the eggs.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:10
Take the souffle skydiving. During the flight to the drop zone, surreptitiously sabotage its parachute.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:14
Instead of using a recipe out of a cookbook, use the Arden Shakespeare edition of Macbeth.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:16
Open a fancy new restaurant. Hire the best chefs available. Make souffle the house specialty. Use retired circus bears for waitstaff.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:17
Prepare souffle as usual. Place in oven. Set fire to house.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:19
OK, I'm done.
posted by bmarkey 09 February | 19:21
Create the Souffle in 10 minutes using Ruby on Rails. Call it a Souffle 2.0
posted by seanyboy 09 February | 19:34
Make it with Absinthe and send it to Paris to write poetry. Give the souffle the Consumption. Spend the Souffle's inheritance on parties and ladies of questionable virtue.



No, wait. That's wrong. That's how to ruin a Souffle.
In the 19'th century.
posted by seanyboy 09 February | 19:37
Buy it a MetaFilter account and tell it to post a question in MetaTalk asking what "." means.
posted by iconomy 09 February | 19:51
Raise souffle in a Skinner box.
posted by taz 10 February | 01:41
I want these on a t-shirt.
posted by gaspode 10 February | 10:43
me too!!
posted by chewatadistance 10 February | 13:46
← Last night I saw Chuck Norris || How do you wake up? →

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