MetaChat - Ask Mechamen"

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

01 February 2006

Ask Mechamen" Gentlemen, what's the most awesome valentine gift a girl can give a man that will make him 1. drop his trousers post haste and 2. make him aware that i'm REALLY REALLY interested...?
(note, i'm NOT above bribing his ass either!!!)

post by: ramix at: 17:51 | 33 comments

An iPod filled with naked pictures of yourself?

posted by box 01 February | 17:52

Blow job.

posted by urbanwhaleshark 01 February | 17:57

Lingere with an appointment card.

posted by warbaby 01 February | 17:59

I know you can cook. Home cooked meal while wearing a low cut blouse.

posted by matildaben 01 February | 18:11

Maybe I'm being myopic, but doesn't the very act of giving a guy you're not involved with a Valentine's gift pretty much tell him that you're interested?

Or maybe he's myopic. In which case, well, he's a dolt. :D

posted by mudpuppie 01 February | 18:15

A kiss.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 February | 18:28

Mupps, this is men we're talking about. They usually require a sledgehammer to the head. There may be some drawbacks to lesbianism (the constant "processing" being one), but at least you don't need sledgehammers.

posted by matildaben 01 February | 18:30

On preview, what 'pupps and MB said. Tho on second preview, why wait til the 14th?

posted by urbanwhaleshark 01 February | 18:30

Huh.

I thought it was supposed to be a lot easier to get men's pants off than to get women's off.

Maybe I'm just really bad at the latter. And admittedly, most of what I know of the former comes from TV.

So don't listen to me.

posted by mudpuppie 01 February | 18:33

Depends on the man.

For me, I scare real easy so naked iPod / blow job / lingerie with appointment card is just going to send me screaming to the hills.

Home cook meal might work, apart from the fact that I'd be worried about reinforcing sexual stereotypes. "Maybe she thinks this is how she should behave; maybe she thinks this is how I think she should behave; maybe I'm overexaggerating, but she's now picking up on my sense of unease and ... panic, panic, run to the hills."

Personally, I like someone to be just as freaked out as me. And the ingestion of alcohol. And maybe three years of tentative dating before because, you know, I hate to jump into these things too quickly.

Mind - A kiss would be nice.
I might go for a kiss.

posted by seanyboy 01 February | 18:37

drop your trousers first. works every time.

otherwise, just smile and wink.

posted by terrapin 01 February | 18:38

That first preview of mine was on your first comment MB. Your second comment is just dumb, as is my first comment in this post tbh.

It's nice to see people with some sense of, not dead romance, but cheeky-tease-leading-to-fun. That's much more appreciated imo.

posted by urbanwhaleshark 01 February | 18:38

It's easy to get men's pants off by saying, "I'd like to see you without your pants on." The distinction is that you can't get men's pants off by looking at them subtly and smiling a lot ... they will just think you are trying to tell them they have spinach in their teeth.

On preview, UWS, maybe my comment *is* dumb, I'm just going off my experience. YMMV. Maybe I just date a lot of geeks and they are more clueless than you suave Brits.

posted by matildaben 01 February | 18:41

Hey uws, you have spinach in your teeth.

posted by mudpuppie 01 February | 18:43

Well, the lingere worked for me...

*kicks dirt, blushes*

posted by warbaby 01 February | 18:54

It's cilantro, 'pupps.

MB, I just thought your stereotype was crude, as is your stereotype that all Brits are suave, since i am not, and i am a geek. Tho, in my defense, not clueless one.

posted by urbanwhaleshark 01 February | 19:01

A reservation recipt for two at a fancy hotel on the 14th, stuffed in a Hallmark card along with a $50 gift certificate to Spartacus and a note that says "Get yourself something nice...". He'll get the message.

posted by cmonkey 01 February | 19:02

Apologies for the crude stereotype, uws. I guess this is just one of those cases where the slightly-joking/slightly-exasperated tone does not come across in text.

posted by matildaben 01 February | 19:11

MB, I just thought your stereotype was crude, as is your stereotype that all Brits are suave

May I point out that it would have been better to say that than to say "your comment is just dumb"?

I'm not sure a crude stereotype is more deserving of an apology than the "dumb" comment is. But whatever.

posted by mudpuppie 01 February | 19:25

Enough Processing! Back on topic:

Wear a skirt. At a moment when he's distracted, stuff a pair of thong panties still warm from your body heat into his hand.

This works best in public. Have something else to wear home later, he may want the souvenier..

posted by Triode 01 February | 19:32

ramix- tell us more about the guy, because i think it really depends. is he a coworker? classmate? a friend's brother? store clerk? how long have you known each other and what exactly is the nature of your relationship? ...friendly? intense? flirty? etc

posted by Wedge 01 February | 19:38

'pupps, i agree. i did actually include that as part of my last comment, but then thought better of it and deleted it. If id thought about my original post before posting it, crude wouldve been a better word to use, definately. No offense to MB i hope.

posted by urbanwhaleshark 01 February | 19:42

valentines day card with a naked picture of you inside. and beer.

posted by jonmc 01 February | 19:55

What Triode said would work well on me. Damn yeah, that'd work!

posted by fenriq 01 February | 19:59

I had no idea there was any sort of difficulty in getting a guy to drop trou.

Show him some coochie, and he'll be yours within moments.

posted by Five Fresh Fish 01 February | 20:12

Have you tried a Boob-O-Gram?

posted by jonmc 01 February | 20:16

Ramix - I don't agree with some of the more overt suggestions here. Naked pics and warm undies would absolutely fry my circuits if a girl did that to me right off the bat.

My advice is to just tell him so, be brave, be direct, and leave room for it to sink in.

One of the greatest first date things a woman has ever said to me was "I just want to stay out with you some more, I don't want this night to end."

Christ, I sound like the Lifetime Channel. Please shoot me.

My advice: go easy and be honest.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 01 February | 20:18

Need more input. What's your current relationship with this man? How aggressive do you want to be? Here are my off-the-top-of-my-head suggestions:

- Friend of a friend, minimal: send a singing telegram to his house, with flowers
- Friend of a friend, maximal: send a singing telegram to his house, with flowers
- Cow-orker, minimal: crudely drawn valentine, coupons for beer and buffalo wings
- Cow-orker, maximal: crudely drawn valentine, too-close Polaroids with lots of skin but no readily identifiable parts
- Fewer than 3 dates, minimal: "tickets" to your couch for a movie, popcorn, and beer
- Fewer than 3 dates, maximal: "tickets" to your couch for a movie, popcorn, and breakfast
- More than 3 dates, minimal: take him out to dinner, then to a pool hall
- More than 3 dates, maximal: take him out to dinner, then to a strip club
- Spouse, minimal: rent a naughty movie
- Spouse, maximal: make a naughty movie

posted by eamondaly 01 February | 21:08

Ok ok..it's like this. I've known him for a rather long time. However we weren't really close growing up, he was my big brother's friend, and i was friends with his kid brother...So anyways, we both ended up in the US and went on with our lives, but kinda stayed in touch via emails and phone calls...and yeah we've had a long distance flirty thing going on for about a year or so, but nothing serious. He's in Phoenix and i'm in portland so it's not that far...but anyways...i think i'm smitten! I think he's interested but i'm not sure if its just a bonking he's after or he'd be interested in something a little more substantial. I hope the latter, and i want to charm the pants off him too...(is this making any sense?)

posted by ramix 01 February | 23:43

Go boink and see how everybody feels afterwards.

Sheesh.

I had a great get-together with an on and off ex-girlfriend. We had a great time but ended up going our separate ways. We still keep in touch and will probably do it again when she feels singlish again. It seems to happen every five or ten years.

She was the one with the lingerie. It may be a flashback to our first night when she leaves the room, then comes back and models a very chic nightgown and asks me how I like it. Hubba hubba!

And I still have a soft spot for her and she me. But these ships pass in the night and will pass again.

posted by warbaby 02 February | 01:13

Just be yourself. That's the best gift any guy could ask for.

posted by Hugh Janus 02 February | 08:49

Ramix, thanks for the clarification. The question started out kind of raunchy and I think people were running with that. I think if you want something more substantial you should make your wishes clear, because if you get into the "free boink" category in his mind you might never graduate to something more serious. I'd say make him a mix CD and send it to him with a valentine. The songs should be a mixture of friendly, suggestive, and a little smooshy, just to give him the full range of the kind of feelings you are having.

posted by matildaben 02 February | 12:49

The matildaben, she is wise.

posted by deborah 02 February | 12:57

← Fellow cilantro-haters, || I Must Own This →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN