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30 January 2006

MeCha Committees: A Proposal (MI, This could get long and messy) →[More:]
There are important tasks going undone, and vast untapped potential going unused. For this reason, I propose the immediate creation of several committees and sub committees to take care of these tasks.

The following positions should be immediately enpaneled. Once selected, each secratary can form his or her comittee, according to rules set out but the commitee member selection sub-comitee.

Secretary of Pants
Secretary of No Pants
Secretary of Fat Beats
Secretary of Spinach-Based Dips
Secretary of Silly Hats
Secretary of Sober Hats
Secretary of Cilantro
Secretary of Education
Secretary of OMG WFT LOL

Discuss.
post by: Capn at: 15:04 | 92 comments
I can't believe you left out Secretary of Bunnies!
posted by matildaben 30 January | 15:06
That is too much power to be left in the hands of one commitee.
posted by Capn 30 January | 15:08
Secretary of No Pants

DIBS!
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:11
Secretary of Cheerleading, reporting for duty!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 30 January | 15:12
I hereby nominate bunnyfire as Secretary of Cilantro. She'll keep tight rein on the spice jar for us, thereby insuring we have plenty of cilantro to tide us over in the unlikely event of a global shortage of herbs that taste like soap.
posted by iconomy 30 January | 15:16
I notice that even though there are a lot of eligible candidates, no one is volunteering for Secretary of Celibacy.
posted by matildaben 30 January | 15:17
I'll be the Potentate of Nuts.
posted by sciurus 30 January | 15:23
I hearby nominate jonmc for Secretary of No Pants, by virtue of his calling "dibs."

I hereby nominate frisbeegirl for secretary of OMG WTF LOL, because I like her.

Point of proceedure: A dip has a creamy base, sometimes with spinach as a prime ingredient. I question the existance of a Spinach Based Dip. Secretary of Spinach Dips?
posted by rainbaby 30 January | 15:23
I hereby nominate mudpuppie for Secretary of IRC.

I would like to nominate myself for Secretary of Radio Mecha unless someone wants it worse.
posted by matildaben 30 January | 15:26
I'd like to serve as Parliamentarian. I'll need a complete weekly report of all committee meeting minutes in hard copies. Please attach any visual aids. Also, promptly report any uncooperative committee members; they will be remanded for re-education.
posted by Miko 30 January | 15:26
for my No Pants commitee I nominate gaspode, matildaben, rainbaby, thepinksuperhero, ramix, psychokitty, kelldamnit, krix, Frisbee Girl, and mygothlaundry. Conformation hearings to begin immediately. BYOB.

(mrs. pants is confirmed by default)
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:27
No Secretary of Penis?
posted by goatdog 30 January | 15:29
BYOB

Bring your own boxers?

Or maybe it means bleach, as in short for anus bleach, because you're going to need that if you plan on serving in your current position.
posted by iconomy 30 January | 15:30
No, ico, I will Serve on a Back to Nature platform.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:31
Oh I found our Secretary of Penis, goatdog. sfw
posted by iconomy 30 January | 15:32
*throws out razor*
posted by matildaben 30 January | 15:32
I'd very much like to be Secretary of Undisciplined Thought and Obvious Procrastination, but I'll settle for Secretary of The Treasury.
posted by omiewise 30 January | 15:35
So you wouldn't mind if we put off paying you then, right?
posted by iconomy 30 January | 15:37
I want to be the Undersecretary of Underwear, and I'll need an extensive lingerie budget.
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 15:40
Approved!
posted by Capn 30 January | 15:41
I'd like to be Secretary of Adverbs.
posted by kmellis 30 January | 15:42
I approve that, Capn.

also: jokeefe, youcancallmeall and sisterhavana are nominated as well. the more the merrier.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:43
Can I be a Czar? I don't care what department.
posted by selfnoise 30 January | 15:45
Can I be a Czar?

sure. and your wife will be a Czarina. Your children: Czardines.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:46
I nominate myself as Under-Secretary for the planning of the Trip to Antartica, the continent not the bar that jonmc and I frequent.
posted by Divine_Wino 30 January | 15:46
You can't be both the secretary of Pants AND Secretary No Pants Jon, that would be a conflict of interest, and mgl's lingerie clearly falls under the rubric of the Secretary of Pants. A position which I will make so bold as to nominate myself for.

Furthermore I nominate selfnoise for Czar of Russian Dressing and Nesting Dolls.
posted by Capn 30 January | 15:47
Good man, wino. How's the Penguin Cookbook coming?

and mgl's lingerie clearly falls under the rubric of the Secretary of Pants.

she's already a member of my committe, capn. and underpants are my purview.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 15:48
ALREADY THERE IS SCHISM IN THE PARTY!

We will have to form a disinterested commitee to decide if underwears fall under the perview of "pants" or "no pants".
posted by Capn 30 January | 15:50
PANTIES ARE NOT PANTS


That's a protest sign for keeping the panties/lingere subcommitte under the rubric of the Secretary of No Pants.
posted by rainbaby 30 January | 15:51
MY PANTIES ARE MY OWN.
UNDER MY PANTS ARE (most times) MY PANTIES.
posted by rainbaby 30 January | 15:52
I see how it is! You're all against me!
posted by Capn 30 January | 15:53
We are all being very counter-revolutionary, I motion that we turn ourselves in for voluntary gulagization, henceforth I wish to be known as Zek-1128 (formly Wino, Divine: Bourgouis Gangster).

See you in Siberia friends, last one there gets no cockroaches for dinner.
posted by Divine_Wino 30 January | 15:58
I'm making my OWN committee of which I can be UNDERsecretary of UNDERwear and it's . . . right over there, you see, under that piece of furniture, look, no, not there, under that -

*waits for someone to say under where*
*laughs like loon*
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:02
Dibs Secretary for Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms!

*hands out whiskey, cigars and pistols as bribes*
posted by warbaby 30 January | 16:04
Anyway, the undersecretary of underwear can clearly serve on both the Committee of Pants (perhaps as an eminence grise, silent partner or unseen advocate) and the Committee of No Pants where her expertise will clearly be needed, otherwise there will be far, far too many flannel boxers with little ducks on them.
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:04
Also, I'm hanging out with warbaby. He has the best bribes.
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:05
THE PARTY IS SAVED! MGL IS A HERO OF THE REVOLUTION! EXTRA THONG RATIONS THIS WEEK!
posted by Capn 30 January | 16:06
With Vinnie Boombatz outta the way, I declare myself Head of the Chicago Outfit. I wear the pants in this Family.
posted by me3dia 30 January | 16:06
I see london, I see france
I see all your underpants!

*laughs maniacally*
*dances jig*
*trips over own shoelaces and breaks nose*

too many flannel boxers with little ducks on them.

(for the record, my boxers are usually flannel, or at least cotton, but aside from Mickey Mouse pair I used to own, there are no animal patterns in my boxer arsenal)

MGL IS A HERO OF THE REVOLUTION!

also known as the Boxer Rebellion.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:08
Matilda, I would like to second your nomination for secretary of radio. I would also appreciate it if you considered me for future postings in your ministry. Yes, I think the radio should be considered a ministry.
posted by richat 30 January | 16:09
I nominate myself for Secretary of Celibacy - term effective January 1, 2006 to January 1, 2007, unless post remains unfilled past voting period.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 30 January | 16:10
Boxer!
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:11
also known as the Boxer Rebellion.

You win this round.

posted by Capn 30 January | 16:12
Boxer!

You win this round.

I AM THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!! RUMBLE YOUNG MAN RUMBLE!!
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:13
Please tie all shoelaces
Bagsy some position involving being under-secretary to the secretary for no-pants.
posted by seanyboy 30 January | 16:13
I nominate myself for Secretary of Bean Soup, or Secretary of Lethargy. I also think we should have a Secretary For Putting Things On Top Of Other Things, but I don't want the job.
posted by agropyron 30 January | 16:13
We also need a secretary of Maggie Gyllenhaal, I guess I'll have to take that one too.
posted by Capn 30 January | 16:16
me3dia, why don't we have a confab about who's in charge of Chicago. I have this warehouse at 2122 N. Clark that I think would be perfect. Make sure to get there right on time.
posted by goatdog 30 January | 16:17
Didn't we already for a MeCha Crime Family in another thread?
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:19
Hugh Janus, Secretary of Sludge, reporting for duty.
posted by Hugh Janus 30 January | 16:21
/steals mygothlaundry's underpants
posted by porpoise 30 January | 16:22
*calls out secret police*
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:23
Were loquacious to challenge jonmc for Secretary of No Pants, I would most certainy contact my senator. Sorry jon.
posted by danostuporstar 30 January | 16:24
*makes enemies list*
*breaks into hotel*
*steals panties*
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:25
Über Secretary of Playptus, Sir.
posted by flopsy 30 January | 16:27
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
posted by matildaben 30 January | 16:27
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

and Ooby Dooby. and Ruby, Ruby Ruby was her name..
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:28
*decrees entire budget be spent on appropriate mecha underwear for everyone *
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:29
sorry, undersecretary, fishnets don't flatter my legs.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:30
If Tim Curry could get away with it, you can too.
posted by mygothlaundry 30 January | 16:31
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
posted by Capn 30 January | 16:31
well, I'm gonna need help with the makeup, then.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:32
I hereby nominate frisbeegirl for secretary of OMG WTF LOL, because I like her.

*blushes*

Thanks, rainbaby, I think you're pretty damned swell yourself!

*ceremoniously adjusts glasses and smooths skirt*

Secretary of OMG WTF LOL reporting for duty and Sans Pants confirmation.
posted by Frisbee Girl 30 January | 16:44
I won't be a secretary. That's why we had feminism.
posted by dame 30 January | 16:48
Sans Pants confirmation.

The Catholic Church swears those are a thing of past.
posted by jonmc 30 January | 16:48
Can I be the Overseer of Ring Girls? What this place needs is sexy ring girls, and I would be more than happy to oversee them.
posted by mudpuppie 30 January | 16:56
Clothes on the top half, and not on the bottom half.
That's ruder than no clothes at all.

/hyperdive
posted by seanyboy 30 January | 17:00
I'd like to be secretary of Reheating Last Night's Dinner.

But if that's unavailable, I'll settle for Under-Overseer of Ring Girls.
posted by nomis 30 January | 17:00
I'll just settle for Seer of Ring Girls, then.
posted by Hugh Janus 30 January | 17:02
seanyboy quiere ser Secretario de los Colunchos!
posted by nomis 30 January | 17:08
I would like to be neither:

Secretary of Silly Hats
or
Secretary of Sober Hats

But rather, I would like to be the Secretary of Hatted Persons.
posted by SassHat 30 January | 17:13
Who gets stuck writing up the TPS reports?
posted by ericb 30 January | 17:32
T.P.S. will have to write her own reports.
posted by Capn 30 January | 17:36
And I will, oh, I will. Rhyming ones with pictures of cute girls in short skirts!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 30 January | 17:40
Please CC me on these... for my... archives... yes...
posted by Capn 30 January | 17:47
/arrives late, removes pants and sits in back.

Who's in charge of coffee?
posted by krix 30 January | 17:54
Who is Secretary of Abuelas En Fuego?
posted by matildaben 30 January | 18:19
I would like to put myself forward as Secretary For Putting Things On Top Of Other Things. If anyone is interested in my qualifications, my desk is available for viewing by appointment.

Failing that I would prefer:
-Secretary of Almost Unnaturally Cute Hamster Photos
or
-Secretary of Really Good Cups of Hot Chocolate.
posted by kosher_jenny 30 January | 18:24
and I'm Dictator for Life.

/doesn't aim low.
posted by gaspode 30 January | 18:37
Well at least you have plenty of secretaries to take your dictation.
posted by nomis 30 January | 19:02
Is there no Itty Bitty Titty Committee?
posted by jrossi4r 30 January | 19:17
Is there no Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

You've raised a couple of good points there, I suggest we find a couple of boobs to form this Committee and keep abreast of things.

ummm ... trying to think of more hilarious puns...
posted by nomis 30 January | 20:37
I gladly accept the nomination for member of the No Pants committee.

I would like to also nominate myself as Secretary of Eyeliner.
posted by kellydamnit 30 January | 20:55
Okay, Secretary of Cilantro (detection and elimination.) Sounds good. *puts on fierce expression and lets loose the cilantro-sniffing drug bunnies*
posted by bunnyfire 30 January | 21:12
I hereby nominate myself as Secretary of Huevos Rancheros, Minister of Lightly Sauteed Mushrooms with Balsamic Finish, Advisor to the Potentate on Matters of Cosmic Importance, and Janitor-Prime of the Circle Jerk.

All in favor, say Aye. All opposed, Nay. All pantless, please yodel.
posted by moonbird 30 January | 21:28
I nominate myself for ministry of infrequency...and would like to chair any comitee dealing with not paying attention(wanna go ride bikes?)

*yodels*
posted by Schyler523 30 January | 22:12
I nominate myself for Secretary of Really Cute Dog Pictures. : )
posted by sisterhavana 30 January | 22:45
I nominate as Secretary of Secretaries. Now come and sit on my knee, I want to dictate a letter.
posted by dg 30 January | 22:59
I'm honored to be nominated as a member of the No Pants Committee and hereby request assignment to the postion of Secretary of Indecision.

Or maybe not. Can I change that?
posted by YouCanCallMeAl 30 January | 23:35
great post, Capn.

-secretary of don't gimme this crap
posted by rebirtha 31 January | 00:41
safetyfork is secretly secretariat of alliteration, ssshhhh.
posted by safetyfork 31 January | 08:46
Can I be the Loyal Opposition? I like saying Loyal Opposition even though I'm very agreeable.
posted by tommasz 31 January | 13:30
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