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09 January 2006
They say laughter is the best medicine.→[More:]
Smiles are like Vap-o-Rub: they clear the air so you can rest.
They also say that God never closes a door without opening a window, to which I say, close the fucking window God, it's the middle of winter you Obsessive-Compulsive freak.
God has to eat a breakfast of pancakes and oranges, every day, it's sooooooo annoying, ever freakin' day. Mental illness sucks folks, don't let any clams tell you different. You can't fix it by holding onto soup cans and telling some mens warehoused embezzler things that will lead to blackmail if you don't stay in their stupid science fiction club where the creativity bottomed out on Atomic Robots from Space crave our Women.
HUGH FUCKING JANUS... How the hell are you brosephus? What's the rumpus fratello? Let's fucking rock out later this week. I'm still not smoking although I did huff a fucking cigar on friday, BUT I DIDN'T inhale and I did it standing up so I won't get pregnant. Anyway I have an abundance of perverse marginally malevolent energy and I can throw the Manson lamps with the best of them, real vietnam vet style, yo. Let's step out and freak on the squares.
I'm just getting over a killer cold that wiped me out of work Thorsday and Freyasday, then wiped me out of the weekend, but I'm in front of the Pisibank scope right now 'cos I need the loot and I'm a bit weary for viking, but let's reap the spoils later on this week and menace the soft ass of civilization with our beards and hammers.
Smiles are like vaporub, but they don't kill the smell of decomposition quite as well. Ask any homicide detective or coroner, you don't unwrap the latest squishy torso murder with a smile to keep off the stink, it's gotta be vaporub on the upper lip.
I'm gonna write a TV show about detective or coroner's work where every time a joke is made in a crime scene or over a dead body, someone in the background hears it and gets real fucking offended, makes a big scene, or threatens the character who said it ("That's my fucking sister you monster, I'll have your fucking badge!"), and the character winds up reprimanded or pushing a pencil for a few episodes, until gradually the gallows humor is pushed out of the show, and the characters really, really hate their jobs, and the show gets boring and sucks, just like being a detective or a coroner does.
I think we both have pretty soft asses. I've got the muscle coated in fat feel: you know, smooshy outside with a solid core. But I can actually see the vikings, you just have to pretend. So in my magnanity, you can officially have the softer ass.
We have specially trained mice who set themselves on fire (it's a cult thing for them, something to do with Baldur) and run into buildings we've just pillaged, it's great fun! And after, while our weapons are being polished, we watch the mice as they are borne from the ruins to Valhalla by Valkyries, who wink and leer at us, their chosen.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
