MetaChat - Man gets 5 years

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06 January 2006

Man gets 5 years for drying his own feces in a microwave, cutting it up with a cheese grater and sprinkling it on doughnuts at a Fiestamart→[More:]
Points of interest:

Years before he got caught at Fiesta, Nahidmobarekeh attacked a place that has always been dear to my own heart, the downtown Dallas Central Library. He may have done it several times. Who knows where else he has been? He was a cab driver.

"He used to be a decent person," his friend told me. "He used to keep a management job at a couple restaurants, from what I heard. Everybody in town knows him. He just went haywire.

Other very unpleasant details emerged--his heroin withdrawal, the fact that his apartment was littered with his own feces, his feeling that his feces wouldn't hurt anyone because he had eaten it himself without any ill effect he could distinguish from the withdrawal.

post by: puke & cry at: 13:04 | 27 comments

Wow, and all this posted by puke & cry. This IS the consummate post!

posted by Doohickie 06 January | 13:10

Doohickie, you took the words right out of my mouth. Or the chocolate sprinkles out of my mouth....whatever.

posted by iconomy 06 January | 13:12

don't tell the wino! he's gonna be all sink shitting drunk anyway!

posted by ethylene 06 January | 13:14

feh ooh!
firefly marathon

posted by ethylene 06 January | 13:15

freeze-dried puke

posted by danostuporstar 06 January | 13:17

Somehow the idea of this dude grating his crap with a cheese grater is making me laugh. But then, I've never even heard of a Fiestamart much less been in one so the chances of my eating his Dookie Donuts is pretty minimal.

I would love to be a fly on the wall for his first day in prison when they ask him what he's in for!

posted by fenriq 06 January | 13:26

Eh.. uh.. What!? WHAT THE FUCK? *gags*

posted by loquacious 06 January | 13:27

*looks at chocolate chip cookie warily*

posted by jonmc 06 January | 13:28

"Jonmc, Your Fiesta Is Waiting."

--how they page you for your table at a place in amarillo

posted by ethylene 06 January | 13:51

oh wait, it's your fiesta is Ready

posted by ethylene 06 January | 13:52

dude, dudey, doody o
you know i kid

posted by ethylene 06 January | 13:54

I always just assume that 50% of everything is covered in poop and jism anyway, 'cause everyone is crazy. I ain't died yet.

For a real odd comedy moment try to see that dateline or whatever it was where they took a blacklight onto a cruise ship. There was fucking piss and semen on the ceiling and behind fixtures and stuff in like 79% (hyperbole) of the rooms. You people are all fucking sick.

And darlin' eth, when I get shit in the sink drunk, after I shit in the sink I scuttle away like the impaired deviant little racoon that I am, pants all around the ankles, waiters all pissed and angry but too squicked to give chase.

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 13:58

work the squick when necessary

*made the sweetest little fart sound for mr. birthday penis to make him laugh off the crankies*

"And now i will fart."
*poot*

posted by ethylene 06 January | 14:19

Shades of dear departed Richard Pryor.

*poot*

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 14:23

Hmm, remember shouting? this girl's blog came up when I was googling for him, although I don't think there's much of a connection. She does like to watch a lot of TV.

posted by delmoi 06 January | 14:36

Wouldn't the microwaving cook the germs to death? Where's the harm here, aside from gross-out?

posted by Eideteker 06 January | 14:49

No harm. (You can eat fresh feces and it won't really hurt you, actually.)

It's just really really really gross.

posted by Specklet 06 January | 15:44

Really Specklet? I thought you could get all kinds of nasty mess from doodoo, thus the big deal about proper plumbing in preventing diseases, employees must wash hands, no I will not smell your finger and so on.

Perhaps you mean a fresh shite isn't guaranteed to harm you?

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 15:49

and you know this how, speck?

posted by jonmc 06 January | 15:51

For a real odd comedy moment try to see that dateline or whatever it was where they took a blacklight onto a cruise ship.

For several years, this was a common story to see on your local Eyewitness News® broadcast. They would rent a hotel/motel room and show you supposedly icky stuff in the carpet and on the bedspread. There must have been a seminar about how to effectively cover this story at HypeCon (the national convention for local TV news anchors, don't-cha-know).

posted by deadcowdan 06 January | 16:19

Urine is sterile, feces are not. While you can eat feces and not get sick, you can also eat them and get very sick (just like you can play Russian Roulette and not get shot). There's information on teh Wiki about human feces. I like that page, too. It's got a nice, big picture of a log at the top. It's like: "Here it is, a giant shit! It's science, bitches. Enjoy!"

posted by Eideteker 06 January | 16:23

Wouldn't the microwaving cook the germs to death? Where's the harm here, aside from gross-out?

Actually, in the article it says that his lawyer used that defense, which is about as good as you could do I suppose.

posted by puke & cry 06 January | 16:34

Perhaps you mean a fresh shite isn't guaranteed to harm you?

Yeah, that's what I meant. There's all sorts of nasty shit in shit, but a poo from a healthy person just has the bacteria that normally populate your entire digestive tract, including your mouth. I'm not saying it's a good idea to eat poo, but it's not guarenteed that it'll make you sick.

posted by Specklet 06 January | 16:39

Wouldn't the microwaving cook the germs to death? Where's the harm here, aside from gross-out?

Hmm. I wonder, though. If you have a bowl of spoiled chicken soup and microwave it, it's still going to make you sick: it's the bi-products of the bacteria that does it, not the bacteria themselves. (I'm blanking on what those bi-products are called. Dern.)

posted by Specklet 06 January | 16:42

it's the bi-products of the bacteria

Let's leave the bacteria's sex life out of this.

posted by jonmc 06 January | 16:45

I'm not saying it's a good idea to eat poo...

Can I just say that as a (step) parent I live for the opportunities to say things like that?

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 16:47

It's got a nice, big picture of a log at the top. It's like: "Here it is, a giant shit! It's science, bitches. Enjoy!"

Yup, totally a huge yellow turd there.
It's great because it's alt'ed:

An example of human feces, which implies that whoever did the article went through about a shoebox full of pictures of dumps before picking that one.

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 16:49

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