MetaChat - Brains or balls? Trampy wimen make men dumm.

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28 December 2005

Brains or balls? Trampy wimen make men dumm.

post by: arse_hat at: 16:40 | 32 comments

On a related note: only bats, bears, and humans have pendulous penises.

posted by Specklet 28 December | 16:48

Only male bats, bears, and humans....

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 16:51

*lumbers around saying duhhhh*

posted by jonmc 28 December | 16:52

Pendulous? As opposed to those retractable jobs?

posted by danostuporstar 28 December | 16:54

Though they aren't always pendulous. I gather they can protrude as well.

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 16:54

That's right, dano. Everybody else can hide 'em. Sorry, everybody who's male that is.

*rolls eyes at Hugh*

posted by Specklet 28 December | 16:55

*lumbers around saying grrrrrowl*

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 16:55

Pendulous

Ding - dong

posted by dodgygeezer 28 December | 16:55

Everybody else can hide 'em.

Hey, I've done the tuck before, and it didn't show in the photos!

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 16:56

Sorry, everybody who's male

Actually a lot of females are quit good at hiding them also.

posted by arse_hat 28 December | 16:57

I got big balls
Big ole balls
Big as grapefruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs

...

I got big balls
Big ole balls
Big as grapefruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs

-Dan Bern

posted by panoptican 28 December | 16:58

Oh, or maybe that rule doesn't include the protruderable. I'm not sure, I'm not all that familiar with the non-pendulous ones.

*eyes growling Hugh warily*

posted by Specklet 28 December | 16:58

Yeah, that didn't paste right. The second part should read:

But even though my balls are big
Sometimes i wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on tractors
Big as the golden arches
Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing in Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods

posted by panoptican 28 December | 16:58

I love that song! Dan Bern rocks.

posted by Specklet 28 December | 16:59

Only male bats, bears, and humans....

Well, if you're going to get all mr. pedantic pants about it, then define male. Presence of a Y chromosome? Presence of male hormones? No enzyme deficiencies going on? Or in terms of gender identity? Huh?

/nerd

I like to interpret the data as being that the monogamous male bats have bigger brains cos they have to work harder to keep the females interested :)

posted by gaspode 28 December | 17:00

In middle school sex ed class, when Mr. Longo asked if anyone had any questions, and I asked if men could get breast cancer, the whole class laughed and I was sent to the office, though my question was honest.

My contributions so far to this thread remind me of middle school sex ed class, is all.

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 17:01

Well, if you're going to get all mr. pedantic pants about it,

Presence of a pendulous penis?

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 17:02

say that three times quickly.

posted by gaspode 28 December | 17:03

Men can get breast cancer even. I suppose the big-eared bat should be all men's new favorite animal.

posted by panoptican 28 December | 17:04

Cause, you know, all men want big ears.

posted by panoptican 28 December | 17:06

And sonar.

posted by Hugh Janus 28 December | 17:06

I thought all men's favorite animal was the dolphin; they have the largest penis-to-body ratio in the entire animal kingdom. Plus, their penises are prehensile!

posted by Specklet 28 December | 17:07

And they have sonar. The dolphins, not their penises.

*sticks tongue out at Hugh*

posted by Specklet 28 December | 17:08

Who needs sonar when you can feel around in the dark with your pendulous penis.

posted by dodgygeezer 28 December | 17:12

I have sonar. She told me so.

posted by panoptican 28 December | 17:16

Nerds study bat balls , sperm competition ensues.

posted by danostuporstar 28 December | 17:26

My penis is prehensile. Seems like every time I use it I pick something or other up.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 28 December | 17:44

Hitler, he only had one ball,
Goering, he had two but very small,
Himmler
had something simmler,
But poor old Goebbels
had no balls
at all.

posted by stilicho 28 December | 18:06

stilicho, my mother (of all people) used to sing me that song.

posted by Specklet 28 December | 18:10

Well I'm rather upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

posted by arse_hat 28 December | 18:17

neeeeeeek

.
.
.

neeeeeeek

.
.
.

neeeeeek

posted by porpoise 28 December | 18:24

Thank goodness, arse. I was beginning to despair that there had been no AC/DC in this thread.

Also, we went to Sea World this fall and were treated to the sight of full frontal dolphin dong. Impressive.

posted by jrossi4r 28 December | 18:30

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