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24 December 2005
My deepest apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and wuffles to the rest of you. Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bunny; →[More:]
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. quonsar soon would be there;
The mechas were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of snow peni danced in their heads; ≡ Click to see image ≡
And taz in her 'kerchief, and dodgy in his hat,
Had just settled down for a nightcap,
When out on the front page there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,
Clicked on the browser and turned up the sound.
The glow from the monitor gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny bunnies,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was that bastard q.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, dame! now, dg now, amberglow and iconomy!
On, mudpuppie! on Specklet! on, melissamay and jonmc!
To the top of the page! to the top of it all!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As lame snark that before the witty rejoinders do fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of tart retorts, and St. quonsar too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little bunny.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. q came with a bound.
He was undressed all in all, from his head to his foot, ≡ Click to see image ≡
And his package was all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of noobs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a thief just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his ass dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose not like a cherry! (he quit you know)
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, cause he cracked my shit up;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had so much to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He distroyed all our packages; then turned with a jerk (paris?),
And laying his finger aside of his arse,
And giving a scratch, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy dingle to all mechas, and to all a good whuffle."