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What topics are "banned" at your family get togethers (year-round, I mean)?

posted by SassHat 22 December | 12:10

-Why I'm not married (I'm already 22, what am I waiting for???)

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 December | 12:12

1. religion religion religion religion (I outed my husband and the adult daughter of their other family friends as atheists last xmas; it wasn't pretty).

2. Iraq war

3. evolution

4. when mr g. and I are having kids

Strangely enough, politics (war aside) we can do fine.

posted by gaspode 22 December | 12:16

Hahah, you should tell them your Holiday Table of Love story, gaspode.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 December | 12:16

22! Good god! You'll never get married!

For me, there are no topics that are banned. Our family has reached such a high level of apathy that you find yourself actually searching for stuff that might get a response. Last time I saw them, I told them about the time I did cocaine. Nothing. Not even some interest of what the experience was like. Well, except from my younger sister. I had to give her a talk about how God was very mad at me for doing cocaine so she wouldn't think of doing it herself. Damn them!

posted by panoptican 22 December | 12:17

Nothing's forbidden, but I'll have to listen to some bullshit about why me and pips aren't married, my lack of ambition, why I don't dress like an adult, and we'll be grating on eachother's nerves rather quickly. But hopefully there'll be alcohol.

posted by jonmc 22 December | 12:18

Any discussion of the military, especially anything about submarine duty.

posted by tetsuo 22 December | 12:20

Luckily, when I go to Canada, we start Xmas day with mimosas and end it with Irish coffee, with a lot of drinking in between. So long as the scotch stays in the cabinet, we're a happy loving buzzed family (scotch = angry drunks).

We also tend to argue about events from the past, and no one seems to ever agree on the details. So family member A tells a story, and it descends into arguments about whether or not it happened, or that it didn't even happen to family member A, etc.

posted by SassHat 22 December | 12:25

Back in the day when I spent holidays with my extended family in NZ, I had to listen constantly to discussions on how I was a failure because I was still in school (*grad school*, motherfuckers!) at the age of 25 instead of being sensible like my cousins who all had jobs before they were 20 (because they never went to college). I'm still seen as a failure in their eyes because they don't understand what I do. (sidebar: large catholic family, I have nearly 30 cousins on my mother's side, only 2 other female cousins both of whom are the same age as me). I'm the least successful female because I don't have kids and the least popular because I moved away from the family.

ALSO: I'm the only fucking woman in my family (incl. aunts and grandmother) that hasn't had an eating disorder and doesn't smoke. I'm constantly being told that I'm fat. Which I'm not. I'm just not a size fucking 6.

OK sorry guys. That all just spewed out. This is kind of why I don't want kids. Who knows what psychoses I'll lay on them. I feel better though

posted by gaspode 22 December | 12:27

I'm lucky: there's really nothing that we can't talk about civilly.

posted by Specklet 22 December | 12:27

Believe it or not, panoptican, I'm the next in line of the grandchildren- my two older cousins both got married very young- one junior year of college, one right after graduation. I come from a family with a long Christian heritage, and some children become more conservative than others... I'm the NYC black sheep :-D

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 December | 12:27

I'm the only fucking woman in my family

Then how did the family survive?

Oh wait, you're a scientist, probably have acces to gene splicers. Crafty, 'pode, crafty.

posted by jonmc 22 December | 12:45

leave my swears alone, jonmc. They go where they please :)
Secretly, I became a scientist because one day I want to engineer myself a tail. You know it's true.

posted by gaspode 22 December | 12:48

I want to engineer myself a tail.

*must..not..make..obvious..sexist..wisecrack*

*passes out*

posted by jonmc 22 December | 12:51

heh heh. I was waiting to see how long that would take.

posted by gaspode 22 December | 12:53

Any discussion of the military, especially anything about submarine duty.

Fascinating: because of security issues for you? Or do they just not want to know?

posted by PinkStainlessTail 22 December | 13:01

but seriously, folks...

I just got back from the office vending machine and, lucky us, one of the item's for sale is a "Svenhard's Breakfast Claw." Some poor breakfast is walking around defenseless, poor thing.

(is "bearclaw," copyrighted or something? or are there governmental requirements one has to meet before being deemed worthy of the name? Your tax dollars at work.)

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:03

-religion (some are Catholic, one contingent split off to join the born agains, and I have accepted Santa Claus as my lord and saviour... can I get a ho ho ho!)

-politics (I am the only superliberal)

-my friends and/or social life (we're "not normal." This isn't the rule for everyone, just me in specific. But then, grandma doesn't need to know I went to a party for 22 hours last weekend.)

-anything that may indicate I have a love life (I'm divorced! It's time to shrivel up and die, cold and alone!)

-the president/war

It doesn't leave much. We mostly talk about tv and movies. Nothing over a PG-13 rating.

posted by kellydamnit 22 December | 13:04

oddly the other Svenhard's offering in the machine is a pastry called a "Raisin-ette" which I'll bet you is copyrighted. I'm so confused...

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:06

I miss my work vending machine. Thank goodness the strike is ending.

posted by gaspode 22 December | 13:07

Also, since my neice just turned one, a major deal is being made about that. Although at that age they just like ripping paper off the boxes, to tell the truth.

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:11

Thank goodness the strike is ending.

Don't count your chitlins before you butcher the hawg, dear. Nothing's for sure yet, and I still have to get home tonight.

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:13

...or you just wander over to the LES for a beer...

posted by gaspode 22 December | 13:18

Nahh, too late, and I don't want to leave a drunken corpse on the Queensboro Bridge. I have a few schemes a-brewin'..

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:24

See, we got rid of the verboten-topocs problem by having a family where everyone isn't talking to someone else. Also, we all live far apart. So I haven't seen my whole family for Christmas since I was eight or something.

My mom comes to New York and we hang out with my boyfriend, and I get to be super princess demando extraordinaire. Yay. But this year she's coming in January because (a) that's when we close on the house and (b) there is no choo choo.

posted by dame 22 December | 13:27

How much you wanna bet that when this transit strike finally ends, some hip-hop station will play that Quad City DJ's song?

posted by jonmc 22 December | 13:39

Is that the ride the train song?

posted by dame 22 December | 14:02

Yeah. Catchy tune, too. But I guarantee you some wise-ass DJ'll put it on.

posted by jonmc 22 December | 14:04

Jeez, very little gets banned at my in-laws. Don't tell my little sister-in-law not to shout all the time, though. She'll just shout more.

posted by selfnoise 22 December | 14:11

My only in-law is a BIL in upstate NY who is even more cavey than we are. We won't be seeing him, but will probably talk on the phone. I avoid family at holidays. Actually, as much as possible. I dont want to be lectured by my jebus freakified sister, or be bored shitless in someone elses' house b/c I'm not supposed to touch anything. Why even HAVE the piano then??! Oh, but if we do ever get together, we can't talk about religion, gay stuff (I'm the only gay one in teh family), or politics. Or anything fun. Or interesting. Needless to say we will be drinking and making merry w/ the 4 leggers in our own comfy cave.

posted by chewatadistance 22 December | 16:11

Any discussion of the military, especially anything about submarine duty.

Fascinating: because of security issues for you? Or do they just not want to know?

Pink, my family hates me being in the military, and I've talked about taking submarine duty which freaks them out.

posted by tetsuo 22 December | 16:41

Politics: I am a lonely liberal in a sea of conservatives (at least on my father's side). Although I have a sneaking suspicion my father is a lot more liberal than he lets on. When we're alone we have no trouble talking politics and we agree more than we disagree.

My stepbrother: I have one stepbrother who has distanced himself from the rest of the family over the years and any mention of him tends to cause a bit of tension and heartache for my stepmother and makes my other stepbrothers angry.

Other than that it's a beer-soaked free-for-all and a heck of a lot of fun.

posted by LeeJay 22 December | 17:12

Although I have a sneaking suspicion my father is a lot more liberal than he lets on.

Or maybe you're more conservative than you think. Popmc is a registered independent and fairly cynical about politicians in general. But lately he's been describing himslef as more liberal. and he's been listening to NPR. If he starts growing a ponytail, I'm having him taken away, ha-haa!

posted by jonmc 22 December | 19:16

Or maybe you're more conservative than you think.

Mmmm, I suspect it's a bit of both.

posted by LeeJay 22 December | 19:45

One dark Christmas Eve a few years ago, my father casually mentioned to my in-laws that my hubby and I were raving liberals. Apparently, they hadn't noticed on their own. "Well, your daughter may be," said the MIL, "but my son is most certainly not!"

Much unpleasantness ensued.

posted by jrossi4r 22 December | 20:26

Let's all cross our fingers that I don't punch my stepmom during the yule time.

posted by SassHat 23 December | 05:19

22 December 2005