MetaChat - Ask MeCha: Where to get off?

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20 December 2005

Ask MeCha: Where to get off? →[More:]I've got a minor problem. My ex-boyfriend whom I still live with (it's a long fucking story that I don't want to get into here) needs to get to the airport on Wednesday. I'm currently located in Englewood, NJ because I'm helping out a friend who has a broken leg by helping him out around his condo, and we live in Flushing.

He wants me to get back to Queens some time during the day on Wednesday so that I can take him to the airport around noon. I eventually to get back here to Jersey because all of my clean, wearable clothes are here.

My friend with the broken leg is offering to give him money for a car service to take him to the airport, plus money for the GWB and Triboro bridges back to Queens. I'm offering to give him all the change I have in my change cups, plus the extra $2 I gave him last night. All he has to do is drive my car (yes, it's my car) to Englewood tonight after 7 pm or so, and then pay the friend with the broken leg back when he gets back from his Christmas trip.

He refuses to do it, because he doesn't want to sit in all the crazy traffic that will happen tonight.

My question is: Exactly what kind of item should I ask him to stuff up his ass?

post by: TrishaLynn at: 09:42 | 13 comments

A pumpkin is nice.

posted by jonmc 20 December | 09:43

Christmas tree. Festive, too.

posted by flopsy 20 December | 09:54

Christmas tree, like flopsy said. Festive, scritchy and a subtle hint about goodwill toward men.

posted by sciurus 20 December | 09:57

Is your friend on crutches? Because I find those make handy ass-spikes when necessary.

posted by LeeJay 20 December | 10:07

Something self-lubricating, with batteries? Ribbed, for his pleasure?

posted by Hugh Janus 20 December | 10:09

LeeJay: Yes, the friend with the broken leg (who has to wait outside in the cold for a Jersey bus, then walk three blocks to his office from Port Authority) has crutches. ^_^

posted by TrishaLynn 20 December | 10:11

I third the Christmas tree. Only, do it backwards for maximum effect.

posted by papercake 20 December | 10:17

Or, you could let him take care of it and tell him to go FUCK HIMSELF.

posted by papercake 20 December | 10:18

I second the crutches.

posted by danostuporstar 20 December | 10:57

Samsonite hardsider luggage. You know? For the trip.

posted by arse_hat 20 December | 11:08

6 million useless transit passes.

posted by Triode 20 December | 12:46

The Christmas tree - but make sure it's already decorated with shatterable glass globe goodness.

Oh, and don't forget the gilded tin star at the very top.

posted by porpoise 20 December | 12:58

A nice sharpened stick. Sideways.

posted by sisterhavana 20 December | 16:05

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