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*Leaves bucket of smooches by door, sneaks along wall, gladhands self into middle of crowd, looks over at door and exclaims*
"WhY I do delclare! While we've all been here a-flappin' our gums and a-chewin' up the fat, the smooch fairy musta snuck in and left us a little present!"
So are you a high hugger or a low hugger, people? Do you reach up around the neck area, or down around the waist area? I'm a high hugger. (And I'm not talking about watching movies with my aunt.)
I think low-hugging should be reserved for people you have or have had an intimate relationship with. For all others -- family and friends -- high hugging is the way to go.
You know what I hate? That awkward guy half-hug-half-handshake. Someone sticks out their hand. The other person looks at it, unsure whether to take the hand or hug. Your choices here are:
1. shake the hand and call it a day
2. shake the hand, then lean in for the one-handed hug (usually including a pat on the back)
3. coming in for the hug anyway (which can either be a great "yeah, we're good friends we should hug" kind of thing or a "oh, this guy is completely stiff and I finally get it -- he hates me" OR "oh, this guy is completely stiff and wants me", which can be awkward for other reasons)
I like to fuck and fight and as a free roaming bandito with no gods or kings, that's just what the hell I'm gonna do. That having been said, I bear hug and arm clasp full contact man* hug. (ladies do this hug if you get the chance, with someone you don't mind is gonna be crushing your boobs a little, it looks dumb but it's very satisfying).
*Handshake into hug.
Dame
I got your next three clear drinks. If it's zimas I'ma snicker though.
I'm a mid hugger and sometimes a cross hugger (one high, one low), but I'm also more of a full body hugger, unless the other person is frail and then it's more of an A-frame hug. I do my best not to touch people who don't like to be touched, but sometimes I forget.
My favorite fellow huggers run up and lift me off the ground in huge back cracking bear hugs. Those are awesome.
The best are full on body hugs, when you just really try to wrap your whole body around someone you luv. That and the reverse Indian-grip hug, which only a few know about and I am sworn to secrecy under penalty of having my balls removed and served on a pizza.
Man, I'm totally with Fris on this. I'm a mid hugger because I'm all short and dainty and whatnot, so it's awkward for me to neck hug most folks. (Although, if I'm being a coquette, I'll hug a tall guy around the neck so he has to lift me off the ground, thus making full body contact necessary. Also, ears are easily nuzzleable in this position.) I do the full body thing, which sometimes takes people aback. And yeah, the bear hug being lifted up thing is the best!
I'm a giant. People rarely try to lift me. And when they do, I worry, because I weigh more than you'd think looking at me. I am one of those true large-boned folk.
Unless it's during the time when the weight of air on the boobs hurts, the boob crush is a definitive highlight of the experience.
Hugs are truly on of the best things ever. Just think of how many kinds of hugs there are:
-Dog and cat hugs are sweet.
-Baby hugs are just sublime and juicy, too.
-The monkey hugs that kids do where they launch themselves at you and wrap all of their limbs akimbo around you (bruises will result) are wonderful.
-The surreptitious hug can leave me a bit weak in the knees.
I'm an awkward hugger who is much better at hanging out in the parking lot in ripped black tights smoking cigarettes & passing around a mason jar of clear, clear Georgia mountain liquor.
However today being a snow day and all
* I had pizza for breakfast
* I'm drinking irish whiskey & coffee & cocoa right now
* I just hugged my kid.
Can never have too many drinks, Speck! And "bear" hugs are fine, I suppose, so long as I have time to set my beverage down first. It's the "bare" hugs I was worried about. Not cause I don't like 'em, mind you. But because I do.
I'm an awkward hugger myself. Human contact makes me want to cry. Except when I'm at a strip joint.
Or sometimes I'm really comfortable with hugging. Hard to tell. It's a matter of situation entirely.
It might be enlightening that I can't remember the last time I shook my dad's hand, or my brother's, for that matter. But we have an awesome relationship, so put that in your Freud and smoke it.
You know, IRFH, a whuffle! Where you put your nose on someone and breathe in and out and maybe nibble them a little. This can either be sexy or goofy. Or both.
Hugh, if doesn't upset you too much, I'll pinkie hug you. My sister and I used to do that under the table for support when things got tense at the Sunday dinner table. Worked wonders.
And sciurus, what's all this about your nuts and so forth?
Well, as an old married man, I'm far more comfortable hugging men. Because I really, really like women. So I generally avoid too much contact. And whuffling, I'm afraid, sounds right out. Yeah.
Pink, you should! Me and my two best friends whuffle each other constantly. (One of the things that first endeared me to Frisbee Girl is that within two seconds of meeting her in the flesh, she whuffled my neck and told me I smelled good.) I learned whuffles from my mom, who used to wake me up in the morning by lightly snuffling my cheeks and nose. The trick to a good whuffle is to breathe in and out quickly, like a dog smelling something really interesting. If you like, every once in a while you can exhale forcefully to get rid of accumulated air, again, like a dog will do. This usually makes the whufflee giggle. To make sexy whuffles, you go slower, on more sensitive parts of the face and neck. Include the ears, maybe lick the earlobe, and say "mmmmm".
Enough of this fucking mushy-assed togetherness. I'm stressed to fucking eyeballs, and my online day hasn't helped. Dosen't anybody want to rage pointlessly?
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
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