Will there be beer here? There needs to be beer if we're all going to bitch about work.

Right now, despite my protests, the client is having me break down a dataset by 45 separate categories of no larger than 10 people. The sample size is 202. This will provide no statistically significant (or even interesting) results. Doesn't matter. On a pleasant note, I just took a nap and billed them for it. That's the punishment for stupid requests.

It's not beer Friday, so there will be no beer unless you bring it.

I brought beer!

God DAMMIT I can not get focused and take care of all this crap.

My co-workers who have been nothing but isolationists and greedmongers since I started in August sat me down this morning (with the other newer employee) to tout the virtues of teamwork and how we all need to start working together.

I wanted to give them the big FU since I have been advocating this since I started.

Pissed off. I need a new job so bad.

discretely pulls out flask, takes a nip, reconsider, takes a couple of pulls, discretely pocket flask

And I hate people who whistle while they work, people who use their speakerphones and don't close their doors, and people who say "can I have some of your crackers" when they see you eating crackers at your desk.

Apart from the obvious reasons, Monday is my most hated day because I have 4 hours of scheduled meetings, back to back (9-1) Every. Single. Monday.

I hate people who walk by my desk wanting to chat when I'm frantically working. Also, people who ask me "what are you reading?" when they see me reading on my lunch break. Also, people who ask me "hey, where are the paper plates" when it would take them two seconds to find them.

*pops open one of papercake's brews*
Thanks, papercake! Next Monday, I'm bringin'.

Can I just say, cubes and flourescents. It's a cliche, it's been said a million times before, yet...the suckiness never goes away.

But gaspode, 9am meetings on Monday? That must be actionable in a court of law, I mean, c'mon.

Last week my co-worker started telling me about sex with her husband. I didn't even need to hear that!

Oh yes, and microwave-reheated fish leftovers from somebody's last night's dinner.

I know, pliskie! I get back at the man by turning up late every damn Tuesday.

(of course there isn't really a man to get back at because I'm salaried and make my own hours, but most of my collegues work a 9ish-6ish schedule so I do too).

gaspode - Monday is my most hated day

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays

/I keed I keed

Supervisor really screwed me over my graduation timetable. I should be defending my MSc thesis right not or a month ago and starting a PhD candidacy in a different department in January. Instead, I won't defend until late January/February. It's been 3&1/3rd years now and its getting ridiculously old. I was ready to defend at the beginning of this year for christsake.

Supervisor has agreed to extend my appointment (piddly graduate stipend) after I've graduated to June (when I'll be starting the PhD thing) and have me doing more research for him. Since the stipend is about 1/3rd the academic salary (1/4-1/5 private sector), I'm just going to work part time and drag my ass. So you'll probably be seeing more of me here.

pliski - I used to work at a place on the West coast with head offices on the East coast and a major centre at GMT +0. 6am meetings suck, especially during a public transit strike.

porpoise, on transoceanic conference calls, I always assume at least one party is participating while still in their pajamas. Am I wrong to do this?

pliskie - are they hot?

well, given the usual cast of characters on my transoceanic concalls, I'd have to say, no.

Ugh, no. *shakes head*

Where do I even begin?

They don't pay me enough money. And everyone is dumb. I think that covers it.

(Why is it so hard to write coherent English, Jeebus? WHY??)

Anybody work with people who are unable to read past the first question in an email? Anybody?

By working here and doing the menial yet exacting tasks I'm given, I'm compromising my values and the spirit of my Quaker-oriented liberal arts education.

I work for the world's largest banking corporation. The section I work in, derivatives, does cutting-edge financial engineering. For those who don't know, the "engineering" they're talking about is finding ways for the corporation to make risk-free profit.

Only risk-free profit for banks is basically illegal, since the only way to eliminate risk is to own both sides of the equation. Which is way against the law, Enron style.*

Derivatives are new enough that regulation lags behind innovation. So while we can no longer trade money back and forth between our own held entities to fix balance sheets before quarterly reports go to the shareholders, like we used to, we devised special new derivatives to get around this regulation.

It's so fucking shady, people. The more I learn, the less I like.

And that's just the principle of the thing. Imagine how much I hate the day-to-day. I don't even want to start.

I definitely shouldn't post this from work.


*It's quite possible that the big banks helped push the Enron investigation forward because Enron, an energy company, was encroaching on bank territory with its own financial engineering.

You SEE me running back and forth like a chicken with my head cut off while you sit there staring off into space like a chimpanzee with massive head trauma. YOU SEE ME YOU JERK. Get off your ass and help, dumbass. And no, "help" does not mean "occasionally traipse off into the sunshine to make personal calls".

I'd rather shit treble hooks than trudge my ass here every morning but I do. I want to smash my internet screen every thirty seconds because the pain of pulling shards of broken bloodied glass out of my exposed tendons pales in comparison to the pain of sitting in this cube day after day after day after day.

We have good dental insurance though.

shit treble hooks

That's terrifying.

Award for most uncomfortable imagery of the thread goes to KevinSKomsvold!

I'm just tired today. Stayed up too late and got up too early all weekend. Tonight I will relax.

Yea, so I haven't been getting much done today.

Anybody work with people who are unable to read past the first question in an email? Anybody?

I am that person.

I hate you!

Not really. Really, I love you.

I just found out that, after a record breaking year, we're no longer getting the week between Christmas and New Year's as paid time off. Which pretty much sucks.

But I'm being encouraged to use my vacation time during that period.

I think, instead, I'll use that time off to get my resume shined up and find a new job.

I just spent two hours editing a document. Then I found out that I wasn't supposed to edit it. It was just for my reference. I'm going to jump out the window.

That sucks, fenriq! How can they just change it like that? That's retahded.

This is a late bitching, after work and a few beers. The whole entire national fucking network is down because of some asshole virus that's decided to wreak its pithy havoc. So, instead of going to Metachat which things get awful, I have to keep *working.* That's bad. But it seems that my abusive boss might either be getting canned, caned (or G*d help us, canonized) for being so mind-bendingly nuttybirds. So, things, they look up.

I don't have a job. Can I bitch about school?

Award for most uncomfortable imagery of the thread goes to KevinSKomsvold!

Thank you, thank you. Yes, work is just like that.