MetaChat - Frisbee Girl has demanded an update

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01 December 2005

Frisbee Girl has demanded an update on my situation, and an update she shall have! →[More:]So apparently she wasn't clear on the time, and showed up early, and I was quite surprised to find her with Mutual Friend, who was coming to the same event waiting for me. And it threw me off a little and I forgot to compliment her.

So I sat down with her, Mutual Friend, and Mutual Friend's friend (we'll call him New Guy). Mostly chatting with the Girl who was ignoring the other two guys which was making me slightly uncomfortable (I hate being on the other side of that situation). So I tried to draw them into the conversation which was a big mistake, since New Guy starts hitting on Girl, and then she starts ignoring me and talking mainly to him. Of course he fucks it up by being obnoxious in several ways. Go New Guy!

So we all go our separate ways and mine is thankfully along her way. She complains about the obnoxiousness of New Guy and how Mutual Friend apparently stalked her in the past. Um, wow. She refuses a walk home and then I forget to get her phone number. D'oh! More electronic communication for me, then.

But speaking of electronic communication, I see that she did make it home safely online and send her a message, and eventually get this

Girl: thanks again for inviting me
Girl: i had a great time

W00t! Well, all in all, a fun evening. Where from here?

post by: punch at: 21:14 | 26 comments

Not bad- keep on keeping on, sir!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 December | 22:26

"show it to her, dude"

posted by jonmc 01 December | 22:32

my friend z. in high school told me that whenever anything got awkward, just try to make out with 'em.

this mostly works.

posted by sam 01 December | 23:44

It's always nice to follow up a nice date with a thoughtful gift or pleasant surprise.

Some people recommend some simple flowers or perhaps a small box of chocolates, but I find those to be too cliched and trite.

Therefore, as your lawyer, I strongly suggest you arrange to have a crate of live, ravenous and ill tempered badgers shipped to her workplace with a cologne scented notecard that says "One of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces." Bonus points will be awarded for scrawling upon the notecard in your own blood or bodily fluids.

posted by loquacious 02 December | 01:22

Don't listen to loquacious. I like to follow up with a nice toe in a box - either of your pinkie toes should suffice - it was only a first date, after all.

(You probably handled the awkwardness fine. I bet you came off as an upstanding guy who wasn't too interested in sleeping with her right away. Be aware of "The Friend Zone" - you're getting pretty close)

posted by muddgirl 02 December | 02:40

Nonsense. The severed head of the guy who offended her is always the appropriate gift at this point. Be sure to use nice wrapping paper -- I usually go for the metallic kind with the brocaded finish, but that's just me.

(Seriously, what muddgirl said in her parenthetical. While being the nice guy isn't necessarily the kiss of death -- at least not with any girl who's worth a damn -- it really wouldn't hurt at this point to have a little mystery or hidden depths about you. Think about doing something a little surprising next time.)

posted by George_Spiggott 02 December | 03:07

it really wouldn't hurt at this point to have a little mystery or hidden depths about you. Think about doing something a little surprising next time

Uh... like what?

posted by punch 02 December | 04:55

filthy secrets?

posted by flopsy 02 December | 05:34

filthy secrets?

posted by punch 02 December | 05:37

or some favourite past time that she doesn't know about (and is totally out of character) that you could take her to do.

posted by flopsy 02 December | 05:49

I should stop posting all my favorite pastimes on the internets then. I was thinking ice skating, though.

posted by punch 02 December | 05:59

Go bowling.

posted by warbaby 02 December | 09:52

(Brand-new to Metachat -- hi, everyone!)

My 2 cents as a girl: I think you need to make sure the next date is very obviously date-like. You don't have to be all schmoopily romantic about it, but make sure she knows you're thinking of it as a *date* and not just hanging out. Flirt, pay for things (I don't recommend this as an always-thing, but I've found that for the first few dates, the guy insisting on paying for most things is a good indicator that he's not looking at this as platonic), and most of all, Don't let other guys hit on her during the date!!!

Ice-skating sounds fun, as long as you take her out for hot chocolate and long lingering flirtatious looks afterwards.

posted by occhiblu 02 December | 11:15

Yes!

posted by muddgirl 02 December | 11:44

Hey occhiblu!

posted by Frisbee Girl 02 December | 11:46

Welcome occhiblu! Thanks for the advice.

Don't let other guys hit on her during the date!!!

How was I supposed to know he was going to hit on her? Or not let other guys hit on her? She's an adult, what am I supposed to say, "I don't like you talking to that guy?"

I wish I were better at flirting. Or really did it at all. I'm really quite surprised at how many girls I have dated considering how crap I am at it. Oh well, to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, you have to go to war with the flirting skills you have, not the flirting skills you want.

posted by punch 02 December | 12:18

(Hi, Frisbee Girl!)

Well, no, I certainly wouldn't try to prohibit her from speaking to others, but if something similar happens, I'd just try to break into the conversation earlier and not let some other guy monopolize her. *Especially* if he starts hitting on her.

Mainly because she's probably then going to assume that you're OK with other guys hitting on her, or even just flirting with her, and therefore not interested in her yourself.

You know, actually, you could even just do something like touch her hand or arm to get her attention, then roll your eyes at how ridiculous the other guy is being. You want you and her to be a team.

(I realize this situation is probably not going to repeat itself...)

posted by occhiblu 02 December | 12:36

Punch: Deflect his conversation with yours, interposing yourself between them. (This should, needless to say, be done suavely. You don't want to come across as a possessive dick on your first not-even date.) But especially if he's being obnoxious, the ability to grasp onto some thread of what he said and redirect it to be something you want to talk about with the girl, that's good. Also, talking about topics that you and the girl share, like maybe work (or something else in common) will leave him with no easy in. Take charge with a sense of humor.
But of course, if you have to be told this on the internet...

posted by klangklangston 02 December | 12:36

(I realize this situation is probably not going to repeat itself...)

Well not here, but it's still good to know.

But of course, if you have to be told this on the internet...

Thanks for that.

posted by punch 02 December | 12:43

punch, I'm glad it went well. Some of it, I imagine will resolve itself especially if you do something one on one with her that's romantic.

And never let klang talk to your date.

posted by Frisbee Girl 02 December | 12:51

Yeah, it may be time to step it up to the official Dinner and a Movie.

(I break girls hearts with my impressive beard alone. I don't need to "talk" to his date.
Wait, my girlfriend's not gonna read this, right?)

posted by klangklangston 02 December | 16:06

Dinner and a movie is such a cliche though...

posted by punch 02 December | 19:33

I think ice-skating is a great idea, as long as you also do something (dinner, coffee/hot chocolate, drinks, whatever) afterward. I think you just want to make sure that at least some portion of the evening is very obviously date-like, and just ice-skating could really go either way.

(That is the advantage of dinner & movie -- your intentions are very clear.)

To me, it sounds like she's waiting for a bit of a signal from you on what you're intending the relationship to be. You don't have to spell it out explicitly, but I think you have to nudge things in that direction pretty firmly.

posted by occhiblu 02 December | 21:43

It doesn't matter what else you do, as long as you're eating pie and ice cream in front of a fireplace at some point. Preferably after midnight. And if neither of you had to make the pie.

Also, give her a small, ceramic hippopotamus in a wooden box.

posted by George_Spiggott 02 December | 23:52

Mmmm, pie.

posted by punch 03 December | 05:05

By the way, you guys rock.

posted by punch 03 December | 05:07

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