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30 November 2005
This is the official whinging thread→[More:]Is it possible to die from boredom? If so, my current employers are filthy, murdering scum, and I'm about done for. What's picking incessantly at your last nerve today?
A potential employer just called me about a job, and rather then letting the unfamiliar number go to voicemail so I could compose myself and return the call, I answered it and made an ass of myself.
Everybody who doesn't auto-tune their voice sings a little flat, because it's soulful. But singing sharp takes balls, dammit, and a lot of jerks don't see that.
Flies! All around me! What's going on!? Whence did they come!? There's a particularly elusive one that's eluded my grasp, but i will get it. Oh yes, it will rue its highly sped-up day.
Also, I was asked to come in early today. I got here early, only to find out that I didn't actually need to come in early, and that they didn't bother to call to tell me I didn't need to come in early.
*returns to absent-mindly thumbing through an MCSE textbook and making snarky mental notes*
None of the things I've been doing lately seem attractive, nor any of the things I should be doing; I feel hungry but I had a big breakfast, and I'm just damn bored.
Try not to catch anything, and don't get it pregnant! I can't begin to tell you how many people I know who got sick of their assignments, or married to their careers.
Look, you integrate it from here to here this way, then you integrate it from here to here the other way, and it comes out different, so you're done. Come on. Wake up.
Massive amount of assignments due sequentially over the next (and last) week of classes. Agonizing over whether to delay graduation yet another semester to maybe save my GPA. Food.
I'll tell ya what's picking at me, if you really want to know. I left work and went to the grocery store for a bottle of wine to accompany Lost tonight and a 24 oz. Icehouse to celebrate leaving work for the day. Whilst on the way, I cursed at the usual idiocy of drivers, parked, and walked in furious for no reason, hating everyone I saw.
Then, while waiting in the check-out line, SATORI. An elderly woman, no doubt someone I had cursed before for poor driving skills, started calling to her friend - "Jane, Jane?" Another elderly woman moved toward her. Her head was shaking, you know, and her friend (who was a little younger and obviously had her wits about her more than "Jane") said "Now don't you be bothering people."
And I looked at this woman, and all my hate melted away. I WANTED her to bother me, I wanted her to talk to me. Because it was ok. We were just two people, stuck here. And I got choked up, and held it until I got to the car.
And then I cried all the way home, because my blind hatred blinds me to the fact that all we have is each other. Despite the idiotic driving, the senseless disagreements and bullshit, all we have is each other, and when our minds become that lost we also might reach out for anyone, anywhere.
And I cried and cried. Because all we have is each other, and it is a wondrous wealth.
And I hope that when I am 90, and unable to go anywhere by myself, you will all still be here, MetaChatting, and providing a space for silliness, craziness, love and empathy.
This week. Too busy. Skipped class this morning to sleep and I'm as tired as ever. Lots of work to do. Not enough time to do it. My innate slackerness is fighting to take over. Not good. Forgot to eat. Hungry. Need to get rent from roommate, but I'm never home when she's awake. Dog being excessively needy lately.
But. My birthday present to myself is to quit my pack-a-week habit. And the chest cold has made that pretty easy, because it was a little scary how tight my chest got. Eeee.
And I'm behind at work, I haven't been doing a good job. Really.
But. My mom sent me a birthday package which I opened and it had all kinds of my favorite things in it and I was so happy I cried. I know this is supposed to be the whinging thread, but can I just tell you what the package had in it? It had a huge black silk scarf (Anne Taylor, la-dee-dah), a gold wine bottle bag that contained a brass box my dad made for my mom before I was born, and the box contained a pair of ruby earings and a small pearl necklace that belonged to my mom, two packages of stickers, two boxes of mints, a gold bee pin (and y'all know how I feel about bees), a really pretty card with blessings from my mom (this is where I really cried), two of my favorite long-sleeve tees, and a cashmere/angora grey v-neck sweater. What a mom.
It is in the commonplace of everyday things that we find great wisdom. Now if only I can remember that next week when someone cuts me off in traffic . . . .
If you two aren't careful, you're going to spoil my carefully cultivated foul mood. Ooh! James Brown's "Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto" just came on! Gotta dance!
I have a whinge. The IRS. Here's a long story short:
1999, wage income crazy high that worked out to paying $120,000 in taxes, for which I wrote one whopping check for the bulk of it.
2000, I worked only a few months. Did buy and sell some stock that year, took a big loss. I was overwithheld from the work I did and I took a loss, so they would have owed me money if I had filed, which I didn't. They eventually noticed this and asked for money. The crazy IRS way of thinking is that since they only know about proceeds of stock sales and not the purchases, if they aren't told otherwise they'll assume the proceeds represent 100% capital gain. So I eventully straightened it out and filed and even got a refund. Note that on that return is like $130,000 capital loss. Which carries over to the future.
So I didn't file for 2001, either. I didn't work that year at all and I took some more losses on stock. Since I didn't file, they did the same thing and decided that all the proceeds from sales were a capital gain and they decided I owed them like $50,000.
But that makes no sense because even if all those proceeds were a capital gain, they'd be offset by the carry-over capital loss from the previous year.
So I finally filed for 2001 this July, but after some deadline had passed and so I'm in some sort of limbo. And it's perfectly obvious that it's not even possible that I owe them what they said I owe them, even if they don't ever get any more information.
After working with them for ten years, all of my coworkers left yesterday, for the last time. It was sad, and I am now here by myself, for the most part.
We all knew it was coming, for as much as 4 years, as our company had been talking about moving our function to another location for that long. Even so, as one of them said, you never expect this day to come.
I am doing project work for several months. Then I, too, will have to leave.