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30 November 2005

Ask Mecha: Giving a 14 Year Old the Anarchist's Cookbook My son will be 14 on December 8, and this is what he wants for his birthday. I am ambivalent.→[More:] He wants it because it's cool, and because he heard it was going to be banned, and he wants to own banned books and because he likes the idea of building bombs. Is he actually going to build any bombs? I doubt it; he's too lazy to get the ingredients together and he'd rather just know that he could do it if he, you know, really wanted to. And of course he could always just download & print all the recipes anyway with noone the wiser. Still, however, I'm a little troubled about it - he does regularly blow up soda bottles with dry ice and tie firecrackers together and shoot off bottle rockets and such (also, he said he made napalm with styrofoam & gasoline from the lawnmower but - thank god - I didn't catch him in the act.)

Basically he's a sweet kid who is kind to animals and small children; he just likes explosions. He's currently reading Animal Farm and Clockwork Orange; he has a posters of Che and Led Zeppelin on his wall; Devo is his favorite band and he's just discovered punk rock. He's popular, he's mostly cheerful, all in all I think he's pretty normal. So, those of you who were once 14 year old boys, what do you think? Should I get it or not? And if not, how should I explain my refusal?

And, then, there's this problem: if I do get it, I'm pretty sure I don't want to order it online, because that will rattle my always present incipient paranoia about the government and the Patriot Act. So if I get it, where?

post by: mygothlaundry at: 12:05 | 83 comments

Every fourteen year old since the beginning of time has heard that the Anarchist's Cookbook is about to be banned.

posted by interrobang 30 November | 12:13

Supposedly half the information in that book is wrong (and possibly dangerous), but I (and all my friends) went through similar phases at his age, which means he'll be a disillusioned grump by 30.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 12:14

My dear, My Goth,

The Anarchists Cookbook is first and foremost a load of nonsense, the receipes are wrong (although wrong in either a harmful way or merely a useless way I will leave to others) and the information contained within, out of date, pointless and not very good. For what it's worth.

I'm sure you know you cannot keep kids from getting into what they want to get into and forbidden fruit is the most sweet.

You really shouldn't be worried about ordering it, I don't think, but then I don't worry about things like that because ordering a copy of the AC would be the most legal thing I do on some days, possibly a great used bookstore or indie place would have it, however.

Depending on how into having your kid be exposed to yippie type free love, smash the state ideas you are (some cursing, endorsing of drug use, except speed and dope, which are "body fuck drugs") I would suggest "Steal This Book" by Abbie Hoffman, which contains many of the same semi-outmoded urban guerilla stuff, mildly illegal suggestions and much funnier, more heartfelt writing, it would also serve as a bridge to some of the better Abbie books.

Otherwise US Army field manuals and Edward Abbey books, which will have the same effect, but make your son an effective, wildly motivated eco-anarchist.

Personally my parents (especially my pops) always gave me whatever books I asked for, assuming I would get them anyway (or wanting me to read them) and told me "Don't fuck around, if you blow yourself up, your mom will kill me and I have a lot to live for."

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 12:22

I think you should buy him one of these.

posted by urbanwhaleshark 30 November | 12:26

I concur with the aforementioned sentiments and would like to add that I used to get in bottle rocket wars with my teammates on the cross country team and we would also chuck bricks at each other. And we are all still alive and don't have criminal records. Except for that one dude, but he was an ass anyway.

I downloaded the about to be banned Anarchist's Cookbook way back in '95 along with a bunch of "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?" jokes and a fake nude picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

posted by sciurus 30 November | 12:26

I would say this:

"Sure I'll get it for you but it's a load of crap, if you want to get into some seriously mindbending shit, how about Soul on Ice, Give 'Em Enough Rope by the Clash and a couple Fox Fire books*."

*Which lead to bootlegging and making your own farming implements.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 12:27

Seconding "Steal this Book". It's funny, and much more subversive.

posted by interrobang 30 November | 12:28

Revolution For The Hell Of It, John Sayles' Union Dues, Micheal Herr's Dispatches, Ron Kovic's Born On The Fourth Of July and a veiwing of the Deer Hunter is a great 60's/70's thinking man's primer, IMHO.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 12:33

The Monkey Wrench Gang.

posted by brainwidth 30 November | 12:34

I tried making plastique once from a recipe supposedly from that book. Did not work. (was years ago, I wanted to blow up a big rock just because)

I later found a recipe on the net for something similar that DID work although I made a teeeeeeeny tiny bit of it, scared myself shitless when it made a big bang and never tried to blow up anything again.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 30 November | 12:34

The difference between theory and practice is much greater in practice than it is in theory.

Get him the book and tell him you trust him not to be a complete idiot.

posted by warbaby 30 November | 12:39

I'm still scheming for a bowling ball mortar. It puts those wimpy beer can mortars to shame.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms: good times.

posted by warbaby 30 November | 12:41

The Anarchist Cookbook is available online here.

Get him "Steal this book" or "Be here now" instead.

The Anarchist Cookbook is filled with outdated crap written by an deluded amateur. The book is more dangerous to the owner than society itself by a large margin.

The pranks and monkeywrenching tips are juvenile, pointless and barely D- level vandalism. The "ordinance" recipies are almost all wrong and would likely get you blown up or set on fire.

The hacking and phreaking entries are - as can be imagined - all laughably out of date.

The drug recipies are dangerously wrong. For example, it lists at least one simple and erroneous recipe for making LSD - with morning glory seeds. The end result - even if it were a correct recipe followed to the letter - isn't LSD-25 at all, but a solution of lysergic amide with a bunch of nasty leftovers. Which - if ingested at the recommended dosage - has about a 90% chance of landing you in the hospital, if not just giving you the worst headache in the history of mankind.

It's just one of those things - an urban legend appealing to teenaged boys, not unlike the Faces of Death films. It's not all that and a bag of chips. It's not some ultimate expression of banned information. It contains no real secrets or truly useful information.

Also, if he's already making styrofoam+gas napalm and CO2 soda bombs, I'd be marginally worried about giving him access to The Anarchists Cookbook.

I made many of the same things he did when I was his age. I'm frankly glad - in retrospect - that I didn't have access to the Cookbook at that age, because I would have tried some of the recipies. And in hindsight, now I know many of those recipies are terribly wrong or misguided.

He should join a rocketry club - amateur rocketry has progressed into a very sophisticated array of technologies. Or a gun club, or black powder club. Or he could go ingratiate himself with a good college or university with a good physics department - those kids are always doing crazy stuff and blowing stuff up.

On preview: I've been totally beaten to the punch! Damn your loquaciousness, you nattering old fool!

posted by loquacious 30 November | 12:41

I agree with the nattering old fool, a rocketry club or just a little rocketry set and a book, is a great idea.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 12:44

Ah, thank you. I hadn't thought of Steal This Book but he should surely have a copy of that, being as how he does seem determined to recreate the 60s & 70s. His school teaches from Foxfire, so he's up on all that stuff - his online name is, sigh, ecoterrist (he can't spell.) You know it is really reassuring to me to hear that all of you, who I like & think are unlikely to be crazed serial bombers (although this is the internet and perhaps you are busily bombing all day long before hitting the taverns for happy hour, god knows I am) read & did all this stuff & grew up okay. Occasionally I get these single-mom-of-son tremors like he is going to grow up and be the Unabomber because of something I did or didn't do and really I know nothing about teenage boys. I did give him a copy of Bored of the Rings a couple weeks ago; he liked that.

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 12:46

If he likes Foxfire, I recommend also Mother Earth News.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 30 November | 12:49

Firesign Theater! Firesign Theater!

posted by warbaby 30 November | 12:49

Get him Henley's. You could be starting him on the road to a Nobel prize.

posted by warbaby 30 November | 12:53

If you want to get him a slightly shady book, I recommend a Fake Book. If it's potentially lethal DIY stuff he's into, I recommend Dave Funk's Tube Amp Book. Of course, if he ain't into music he won't get it, but you could always start him on the royal road to rock'n'roll.

Oh, and get him a soldering iron, no matter what. Everybody's getting one this year.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 November | 12:56

Oh lord the booms I have boomed.
I'm pretty sure I used up all my good luck at the age of fourteen what with growing up next to NYC's China Town and the firecrackers and the M80's and the throwing stars and the working radical hippie parents and the so on, but for the grace of God, I would be known as Old Two Hooks McEyepatch.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 12:56

I was a tame sort of younger fellow, but even I shot bottle rockets at my friends, played that punching game where you punch the person who looks at the little OK finger sign, ~~stole~~borrowed cars, jumped from stupid heights, etc. etc. The anarchist's crockpot is not necessary, and I don't advocate its use, but perhaps it should be obtained to prove that very point. Perhaps he should preview it elec tron ically. I agree he'd be better off / would probably enjoy more "Steal This Book" and "The Monkey Wrench Gang".

On Preview: Awwww....heck. I guess there's no reason to even post what I've written (yet I'll do it anyway). Though note the three different links to the cookbook in "electronically" -- why? because I care!

posted by safetyfork 30 November | 12:58

Also a Worm's Way catalog.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 November | 13:00

Oooh, oooh. This is great! The Amateur Scientist collected on CD. This was a mainstay, along with Henley's during my misspent youth.

posted by warbaby 30 November | 13:00

I'm very happy now, because the steam table place around the corner has the butterscotch toffee crunch cookies is stock. Woo-Hoo!

posted by jonmc 30 November | 13:01

DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO DEVO ~YAY!~

posted by danostuporstar 30 November | 13:02

get him a copy. tell him it's crap. teach him a solid course in physical and organic chemistry. permit him to blow up anything he feels like if he's willing to submit a written proposal with all the necessary analysis beforehand. he'll either be too lazy, or he'll get a great background in, shall we say, enthalpy.

posted by sam 30 November | 13:03

Also, in the elevator I was next to a woman who was vigorously shaking a can of V8*. So naturally, I slapped my head and said "I coulda had a V8!" Been waiting my whole life to do that legitamitely. It's amazing how much of that stuff is clogging my brain. Whenever I walk past the CAS headquarters on Sullivan Street, I always catch myself singing "I'm really glad they made the Children's Aid Society.."

One time, me and my buddy Darin were on our way to a funeral in Brooklyn, and when we walked past Ocean Ave & Avenue U, we took time out from our mourning to look at eachother and say in a thick accent "Free Housebreaking WeeWee Pads wid every poichase."

*my dad used to drink that shit by the tankerload, shaking in a fuckload of black pepper before slugging it down.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 13:11

When I was in grade 9 I liked to blow stuff up. A cool teacher got me into a week long construction safety association explosives handling course. I never blew anything up again.

I am not sure what the regulations are like now for getting into a course like that or what the cost might be but a good bit of education can help cool the "cool factor" in outsider knowledge.

posted by arse_hat 30 November | 13:16

a week long construction safety association explosives handling course

*jealous*

posted by warbaby 30 November | 13:21

Get him a chemistry book, instead (or alongside so he can check and see just how wrong the anarchist cookbook can be).

posted by porpoise 30 November | 13:27

The kid in question.

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 13:27

It's better than buying him the collected works of Ayn Rand. He'll be smuggling Rush albums into your home in no time.

posted by Eideteker 30 November | 13:32

On the other hand, he'd force his baby brother to give up his pacifier.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 13:35

The book isn't going to be banned. The author himself has been trying for 20 years to get back the rights to the book and take it out of print as he disagrees with the information being available and considers it an embarassment. To paraphrase him, he wrote it when he was young and stupid and the world was a different place. However, he sold the rights when originally published and then the publisher went out of biz and a new publisher owns the rights and plans to keep it in print indefinitely, purely because "it's about to be banned" == profit!!!

posted by dobbs 30 November | 13:38

He looks like a great kid.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 13:39

That he does, but why is he wearing a denim dress?

posted by jonmc 30 November | 13:40

Heh, what a cutey, mygoth.

Good t-shirt, too.

posted by gaspode 30 November | 13:40

Cotton would be warmer.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 30 November | 13:42

Yeah, get him an electric guitar, a point-to-point-wired amplifier, and a soldering iron. And the Funk book.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 November | 13:42

Jonmc,

The thing with the kids these days, is that they are so into disco that they wear the bellbottoms, but to prove how hardcore they are the bells now start at the pelvis, it's wild.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 13:51

yeah, it's that, or the pants tore and he just kept tearing them to see how far he could take it.

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 14:00

That boy is a freakin genius, brilliant, I mean it.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 14:04

John Conner? Come with me if you want to live.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 30 November | 14:07

Also, consider giving him "Pranks!". It doesn't teach you how to blow shit up, but it's pretty subversive nonetheless.
And because his favorite band is DEVO, methinks you've got little to worry about.
Beautiful chickens, btw.

posted by Hellbient 30 November | 14:09

"Elephant leg", those pants are called, not bell bottoms. They're mighty comfy and often have many pockets. The more bell-bottomy yet still wide ones are called "flares". Bell bottoms themselves still exist, but tend to be fit more tightly in the hips and legs before flaring into bells.

I have a friend name Tony that took 'em to the next logical step - a full length cargo skirt with many pockets in camo denim or canvas. They actually looked pretty cool, and were mighty functional for dancing and desert shenanigans. This was before UtiliKilts became trendy, for sure, and is decidedly a skirt, not a kilt. Kilts are pleated and swingy.

Yeah, laugh, you haters. Tony gets all the women. The last girlfriend I saw him with was a stripper, and not one of those scary ones, but an incredibly cute and naughty one.

posted by loquacious 30 November | 14:13

"Pranks" is a great, great book.

posted by interrobang 30 November | 14:14

The thing with the kids these days, is that they are so into disco that they wear the bellbottoms, but to prove how hardcore they are the bells now start at the pelvis, it's wild.

3 years ago, I had my own theory.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 14:14

Yes, I heart that kid, but don't get him the Anarchist's cookbook. I read it, and it's very wrong.

BTW, Amazon search for bomb: Did you mean: boob?

posted by muddgirl 30 November | 14:16

I know they ain't bellbottoms, I just think that's a funny idea, the more into disco you are the higher the bell starts, which ends with people wearing floor length a fram lampshades on their heads.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 14:22

well jon beat me to it three years ago, there you go.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 14:25

I dated a cute and naughty stripper once. She freaked out and dropped my like a bad habit when I found out she was a stripper. Ahh, college...

posted by sciurus 30 November | 14:32

Naughty Naughty, Cute & Haughty..

/scary 80's flashback

posted by jonmc 30 November | 14:39

Joining the chorus: I had the Anarchist's Cookbook as a child (and a lot of the other books mentioned), and I turned out more or less okay.

posted by box 30 November | 14:42

wino - disco? as in "Ring my Bell"? Don't you mean techno, or house, or trance? Hell, I've even seen nu-metal kids wearing them (or are they dancy-goth kids?).

but don't let me blow your theory over petty semantics...

posted by Hellbient 30 November | 14:53

Shit, man, I blew up stuff all the time as a kid. Now I'm under-employed, and finishing up a bachelor's degree at 26 years old. You too can have an underachiever!
(And I downloaded the Anarchist Cookbook at about the same age as he is now, when my high school got a grant for internet access... Does he know the drano and tinfoil bomb yet? Or how to fix a valve and fuse onto a 2-litre? He'll learn on his own, probably...)

posted by klangklangston 30 November | 14:54

The 1957 Merck index is the one to have. It's the most complete in terms of synthesis summaries.

posted by warbaby 30 November | 15:14

Another option might be How to Play in Traffic, by Penn & Teller. Fun stuff.

posted by me3dia 30 November | 15:21

The joke was never actually that funny, but it was basically disco isn't a popular youth thing anymore, but big pants are a hit with the techno, house, nu metal, or trance kids and...

Never explain a joke they say, just don't, let it go...

posted by Divine_Wino 30 November | 15:31

I have no advice except encourage him to keep exploring his heart-lifting fashion sense.

posted by melissa may 30 November | 15:56

younger brother + ne'er-do-well friend + pipe bomb =

2 1/2 fingers

However, your kid sounds like he has a heck of a lot more sense at 14 than my brother at 18...Get the book, along w/supplemental "Here's why the AC is wrong"-chemistry stuff, add raised eyebrow and say "I trust you to use your judgement."

posted by mihail 30 November | 16:00

dw - d'oh, i wish i could go back in time and get that. I guess that's why it's called a "post". Consider it let goed...

posted by Hellbient 30 November | 17:15

I'd buy him a Nietzsche book instead -- much more gangsta than that useless cookbook -- as others have said, the info in it is either bad or dangerous. Nietzsche at 14 instead, will make him want to blow up the world, instead of trying to set fire to the dishwasher

posted by matteo 30 November | 17:58

oh, and seeing his pants makes me feel 97 years old. and I'm only 35, technically

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:00

your kid's pants, not Nietzsche's

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:00

In a sudden bizarro-world rush, I just realized that I've never seen Nietzche's pants or in fact any of Nietzche below the shoulders. Maybe he was really just a talking head?

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 18:10

Nietzsche?

Talented musician, but he never made me want to explode anything that I recall.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 18:16

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:19

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:22

I was kidding.

I've never read Neitzshe but the fact than many psychos (Hitler, Manson) were apparently fans makes me disinclined to do so. My loss, perhaps.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 18:23

Hitler was a vegetarian and didn't drink, jon.
so, THAT'S WHY YOU ---!!!!

(just kidding)

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:32

but Freddy wore nice pants indeed

posted by matteo 30 November | 18:33

Freddy's pants [wah-wah]
they wanna dance [wah-wah]
/curtis mayfield

Hitler was a vegetarian and didn't drink, jon.

and Winston Churchill drank and smoked and ate meat. I rest my case.

posted by jonmc 30 November | 18:37

Wow, the guy on the far right in the first picture looks exactly, but exactly, like my cousin Frank. Hmmmmmm. Also, that's a really weird picture. Are they all really short, or what? And what's up with the chick with the whip?

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 18:57

Cousin Franz!

posted by matteo 30 November | 19:32

Nietzsche's next meeting with Lou was quite soon, in Lucerne. She was "detached." Nietzsche proposed marriage again, this time personally; Lou rejected the idea. Nietzsche was at last suspicious that Ree and Lou were lovers and that they were merely using him to legitimize the affair. It was within this mood that Nietzsche orchestrated a "photo opportunity" with Jules Bonnet (a famous Swiss photographer) that has become quite famous. In the photo, as Nietzsche supposedly choreographed it, Lou kneals in the front of a small farmer's cart, holding a whip, while Ree and Nietzsche stand in front of the cart, linked to Lou's hand by ropes. Nietzsche himself looks out of the picture to the right, somewhat disengaged. The picture speaks a lot of what Nietzsche must have felt. It was not long after this that Nietzsche wrote, "You go to women? Don't forget the whip".

posted by matteo 30 November | 19:32

also, I like the idea that it was Lou's kiss that drove poor Nietzsche insane -- can you imagine a kiss so earth-shattering that will make you literally go crazy?

posted by matteo 30 November | 19:35

can you imagine a kiss so earth-shattering that will make you literally go crazy?

posted by jonmc 30 November | 19:43

*boggles*

posted by sciurus 30 November | 20:01

Now we know what's in jonmc's closet. Holy crap!

*shudders*

posted by loquacious 30 November | 21:11

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by warbaby 30 November | 21:14

can you imagine a kiss so earth-shattering that will make you literally go crazy?

Yes.

posted by mygothlaundry 30 November | 23:57

Imagine, or remember?

Nietzsche's peachy. I really dig the Ubermensch stuff and the Eternal Recurrence. There is only now. You make your own destiny.

Sadly, the only Nietzsche I own is in German and while I can piece it together (it's not that different from English), it's not the same. Fortunately, I also have a German textbook somewhere around here...

(I'm not languagehat, though I probably have as many dictionaries and textbooks in foreign languages; I can't stand to see a book thrown away, like some people with cats.)

posted by Eideteker 01 December | 01:50

I'm too sentimental and too populist to ever become a neitschean, I think.

posted by jonmc 01 December | 10:22

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