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22 November 2005

I knew the more inside was going to be a doozy. It's like a soap opera. I mean how often does a guy get his (blind) girlfriend's sister pregnant?
No more often than once every 10 months or so.
posted by agropyron 22 November | 11:33
I think agropyron has indeed established the theoretical max.
posted by nyterrant 22 November | 11:43
Only if the girlfriend has but one sister.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 11:47
If the girlfriend doesnt know the baby's his then she must be, urmm, not paying attention or something.
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 11:49
tags: dickwadboyfriend askingforafriend

I encourage and endorse these tags. I think dickwadboyfriend now replaces batshitinsane as my favourite tag.
posted by bonehead 22 November | 11:58
Haugh-ey! Haugh-ey! Haugh-ey!
posted by Hellbient 22 November | 11:59
If the girlfriend doesnt know the baby's his then she must be, urmm, not paying attention or something.

No, DG, see, the girlfriend is _blind_.
posted by nyterrant 22 November | 12:05
she should have heard something was wrong.
posted by quonsar 22 November | 12:10
Notice that when their moral outrage is stimulated, people have the hardest time remembering that AskMe is not TellMeAboutYourImpressiveMoralOutrageYouGodlyEthicalStudFi.

Also, "More inside". Heh.
posted by George_Spiggott 22 November | 12:11
Heh...isn't there a [more inside] maternity shirt on cafe press somewhere?
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 12:12
lazy-ville? holy florking schnit...
posted by quonsar 22 November | 12:13
He should write her a note. Then, a few months or years down the line, when she discovers, through a third party, the result of his heinous act, he can act all casual about it. He could be like, "Well, honey, I told you about this ages ago. Don't you remember? Didn't you get the memo?" He'll be being honest with her, and she'll have the wind taken out her sails. After all, she'll think to herself, it'd be childish to stay angry for this long.

I'm going to hell.
posted by veedubya 22 November | 12:19
That's just what I thought, q.
posted by JanetLand 22 November | 12:19
Notice that when their moral outrage is stimulated, people have the hardest time remembering that AskMe is not TellMeAboutYourImpressiveMoralOutrageYouGodlyEthicalStudFi.


Ya, I wanted to marvel at the drama of it but I knew AskMe wasn't the place for that. Then I remembered metachat is.

One of the things I love about internet forums is they often impress upon me what a relatively boring and sheltered life I've lived. And how that's a good thing.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 12:20
I think he should have the sister and her baby move in but just be very very quiet. That might be hard for the baby, though. Hmm... he could always marry the blind girl and convince her to "adopt". Just don't tell her the baby is his by her sister. Then her sister could move in and as long as she could be very, very quiet, everyone wins!
posted by Eideteker 22 November | 12:25
I started reading the blurb and was thinking - yeah, right, troll! And then saw who the poster was and thought basically what quonsar said up(this)thread. Holy moly.
posted by deborah 22 November | 12:30
C'mon, simple. The kid goes to an orphanage, the sister goes to a convent. Europeans used to have this all figured out.
posted by dhartung 22 November | 12:34
You think lazy-ville is really asking for a friend, though?
posted by sciurus 22 November | 12:34
C'mon, simple. The kid goes to an orphanage, the sister goes to a convent. Europeans used to have this all figured out.

In the US, the sister goes to her aunt in Tennesee, comes back Not Pregnant, the kid goes to a foster home.
posted by muddgirl 22 November | 12:39
is he asking for a friend, or asking for a friend?
posted by quonsar 22 November | 12:41
Asking for a friend. Obviously.
posted by gaspode 22 November | 12:44
In the US, the sister goes to her aunt in Tennesee, comes back Not Pregnant, the kid goes to a foster home.
Or, if you're Janet Jackson, the kid goes to your sister's home. /unsubstantiated rumor
posted by iconomy 22 November | 12:48
The "religious reasons" bit and the engagement bit were mine.

I want to post this but I'll get banned:

I'd suggest kicking her down the stairs, but trailers don't have stairs.
posted by Pretty_Generic 22 November | 12:52
They have stoops though, but those are usually only a couple of steps.
posted by sciurus 22 November | 12:53
Decided not to post:

How can you keep this from ruining everything that you and your girlfriend have together?

Well, I'm not going to suggest murdering her pregnant sister, but perhaps you could persuade your girlfriend to sever all ties to her family?
posted by box 22 November | 12:57
The "religious reasons" bit and the engagement bit were mine.

Huh?

I want to post this but I'll get banned:

Didn't stop you, though.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 12:59
I think he means he banned from MF.
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:01
No, DG, see, the girlfriend is _blind_.
Even when I'm being crass I'm too subtle....
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:02
Me too, iconomy.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 13:03
Oh Christ.
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:07
I think he should have the sister and her baby move in but just be very very quiet.


Or hey if the sister is willing to sleep with her sister's boyfriend, maybe the whole family leans poly. In which case you wouldn't have to keep the sister secret from her sister. However unless you live in Utah or something you might want to keep the exact arrangements secret from outsiders though.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 13:12
Best answer? ... can only the original poster mark best answers? If so, it seems P_G would have a point.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 13:17
Me too, iconomy.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 13:03


Ba-leted!

And now there's a MeTa thread.
posted by Frisbee Girl 22 November | 13:18
And another.
posted by gaspode 22 November | 13:27
comedy gold.
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:34
At times, reading MeFi is like watching the lunatics take over the asylum.
posted by Frisbee Girl 22 November | 13:36
Oh well.
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 13:36
*head asplodes*
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:37
boo
posted by sciurus 22 November | 13:37
* waits patiently for third metatalk thread *
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:39
Guy should be banned and his computer cast into a lake of fire.
posted by selfnoise 22 November | 13:40
wow. If ever a timeout was deserved it would be this situation.

I wonder if lazy-ville makes phonecalls to fastfood outlets..
posted by peacay 22 November | 13:41
I'm so glad I took time off today to follow all this.
posted by JanetLand 22 November | 13:42
*considerately cleans the walls of iconomy's asploded head then head asplodes himself*
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 13:44
* waits patiently for third metatalk thread *
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:39

Hahaha - seriously!
posted by Frisbee Girl 22 November | 13:45
Joy!
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:49
Do we think that it wasn't a fake question, but lazy-ville (or his friend) had gotten enough advice and didn't care to push the issue?

Or do we just think lazy-ville has a paper to write on ethics and is a dick and posted his question as non-fiction material?
posted by Specklet 22 November | 13:49
Dang it, maybe my life isn't sheltered. Please ,someone come forth and admit to sleeping with a member of your SO family, drunken or not, ensueing pregnancy optional.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 13:51
I'm totally losing it here, I need to stop laughing before I get fired.
posted by selfnoise 22 November | 13:52
Oh come on, mathowie..."Please try not to abuse AskMe in the future?"

*scrapes together asploded head, screws back on, considerately cleans up wolfdaddy's asploded head, head asplodes again*
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:52
We think that someone has spiked the MeFi punch with psylocibin.

posted by peacay 22 November | 13:53
Matt's deleted the thread, anyone still have it in an open tab? If so please past it here.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 13:55
Cleanup in Aisle 8!

(aisle 8 is where you can find teeth brighteners, cilantro, tea, and asploded skulls)
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:56
He deleted my MeTa callout. Which is probably for the best as it was threatening to become radioactively silly.
posted by selfnoise 22 November | 13:57
awww matt deleted the third MeTa thread.
posted by gaspode 22 November | 13:57
thread coming soon to http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/mefi
posted by quonsar 22 November | 13:58
I trust that quonsar has mirrored the thread...
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:58
Hee
posted by iconomy 22 November | 13:58
You are a gentleman, sir.
posted by selfnoise 22 November | 13:58
Yay for the powerful mirrors of meepzorp!
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 13:59
I got banned for calling a fake post a fake post. I'm like the Martin Luther King of AskMe.
posted by Pretty_Generic 22 November | 14:00
You got banned?
posted by iconomy 22 November | 14:01
I'll admit that I slept with the brother of one of my friend's girlfriends.

Then I had sex with my friend.

While his girlfriend watched.

And loved it. Loved it LOUDLY.

TAWDRY ENOUGH FOR YOU? Damn.

*mixes iconomy's asploded head with his own, discovers fantastic new Jell-o flavor, won't be around to enjoy it*
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 14:01
I got banned.
posted by Pretty_Generic 22 November | 14:03
I suspect it had more to do with the trailer comment. So was lazy in IRC or something?
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 14:05
Whoa. Perma-banned? Or timeout-banned?

*warms up MeTa protest finger*
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 14:06
Email matt p_g.

I mean...you go about things in a ummm...twisted way, but you shouldn't be banned.
posted by peacay 22 November | 14:08
Why would you get banned, but not lazy-ville? That seems weird. Or, maybe lazy-ville was banned and I'm just behind. I'm gonna go lie down now.
posted by Uncle Glendinning 22 November | 14:14
I wasn't banned at all. And don't ask me, I don't know why.
posted by lazy-ville 22 November | 14:17
(aisle 8 is where you can find teeth brighteners, cilantro, tea, and asploded skulls)

What about the duct tape, iconomy? What about the duct tape?!
posted by Specklet 22 November | 14:20
Yay for the powerful mirrors of meepzorp!

You wouldn't say that if he arranged them in a parabola and used them to set you on fire.
posted by George_Spiggott 22 November | 14:22
Thanks quonsar.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 14:23
Did someone post the third MeTa already?
posted by amro 22 November | 14:27
Any chance I can get my evanescant callout encased in meepzorp amber resin?
posted by selfnoise 22 November | 14:28
PG, *my* answer was best?
posted by JanetLand 22 November | 14:31
The "religious reasons" bit and the engagement bit were mine.

ok...I didn't see that.

P_G I hope it's only a timeout but....oy. Man, people invest energy in that place. When it's undercut it means they might not bother next time. Don't you get that?
posted by peacay 22 November | 14:33
I agree wholeheartedly, people shouldn't bother with that place.
posted by Hugh Janus 22 November | 14:35
Interestingly the tags live on even though they don't appear on the complete listing and the question has been deleted.
posted by Mitheral 22 November | 14:35
I didn't post it! It was a communal idea floating in the air and then lazy-ville posted it and all hell broke loose. Most regretable.
posted by Pretty_Generic 22 November | 14:41
Pretty_Generic is dhoyt!
posted by dodgygeezer 22 November | 14:43
Most regretable.

I'LL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 22 November | 14:44
Communal where? #mefi?
posted by danostuporstar 22 November | 14:44
What Hugh and peacay said.
posted by tr33hggr 22 November | 14:54
Heh. I completely forgot that lazy-ville was also the one who posted this classic.
posted by LeeJay 22 November | 15:18
Well, that certainly took the edge off of today's boredom.

I was courting the ban-hammer just a couple of days ago with a purposefully lame post on ignorant hillbillys. MeTa'ed by the first poster in the thread. Sheesh.

*goes off to play with live extension cord in wading pool*
posted by warbaby 22 November | 15:49
it is entertainment!
posted by 1 22 November | 16:02
Communal where? #mefi?

Most likely. Or whatever foul waste has replaced it.
posted by AlexReynolds 22 November | 16:10
#rothko
posted by quonsar 22 November | 16:21
Most likely. Or whatever foul waste has replaced it.

I did not know your mothers sloppy stank vagina doubled as a IRC server. Learn something new everyday i guess?

Cheer Up Alex your still a douchebag
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 16:27
wtf?
posted by gaspode 22 November | 16:29
That's pretty wild, huh?
posted by Hugh Janus 22 November | 16:31
I went into #mefi once and pasted links to lots of pictures of tornados. Then I impregnated a turkey.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 22 November | 16:34
This close to Thanksgiving, that sort of thing might leave a bad taste in your mouth.
posted by Hugh Janus 22 November | 16:35
Please, dreamghost. The MetaChat rules are clear: It's "mother's" with an apostrophe, "an IRC," capital "I," and "you're." You also missed a comma and period in your last sentence.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 November | 16:37
My little freakish turkey fetuses were delicious!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 22 November | 16:40
The Gestapo is on to my bad Grammar...
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 16:40
It begs the question, what did he really mean?
posted by brownpau 22 November | 16:41
OMG! Is dreamghost related to anyone here?
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 16:41
Freakish turkey fetuses are always a delicous treat.
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 16:41
She's my blind sister, wolfdaddy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 November | 16:42
yes you wolfdaddy. you are my dad. One night you got so drunk you mistook my mother for Bill Murrey (Easy Mistake)

WHY DONT YOU EVER CALL OR WRITE DAD ARE YOU EMBERESSED OF YOUR HETRO SON@@!!!
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 16:44
This is gonna be the best thanksgiving ever, thanks guys.
posted by Divine_Wino 22 November | 16:48
Nice tribute there, mentioning Bill Murrey so soon after Link's passing.
posted by Hugh Janus 22 November | 16:48
hehe
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 16:56
I AM NOT emberessed AT YOU, BUT IT'S A TWO WAY STREET, PLUS YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND IS BLINd and PREGGERS IN THE KITCHEN WIthNO SHOOZ ON!
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 17:19
I barf constantly.
*pees a little*
posted by quonsar 22 November | 17:37
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOZZZZZZ

:(
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 17:38
this is why we can't fuck nice things.
posted by quonsar at 10:14 AM PST on November 22


Thank you, quonsar, for making my week.
posted by go dog go 22 November | 17:39
C'mon, simple. The kid goes to an orphanage, the sister goes to a convent. Europeans used to have this all figured out.

In the US, the sister goes to her aunt in Tennesee, comes back Not Pregnant, the kid goes to a foster home.


In Russia, the baby have the seester! All get drunk on wodka!
posted by Doohickie 22 November | 17:42
Thank you, quonsar, for making me weak.
posted by dreamghost 22 November | 17:56
I have nothing useful, constructive, vituperative or funny to add but the herd instinct compels me to comment here as the thread has more than one hundred responses.
posted by arse_hat 22 November | 18:59
I think it's fucking AWESOME that the #mefi trolls have decided to shit all over my Mom. Wonderful. Congrats to Quonsar and Dreamghost.
posted by AlexReynolds 22 November | 21:59
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
no wait.


no, hang on, i was right.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

wait, did you mean that?
posted by sam 22 November | 22:17
Whoa, it was a perma-ban.
posted by caddis 22 November | 23:15
If people want to pull antics, do it somewhere else (chat, metachat, whatever).

That was kind of snotty. I mean, we're the meat and all we get for our bread is chat/whatever? Sheesh.
posted by WolfDaddy 22 November | 23:53
You wouldn't say that if he arranged them in a parabola and used them to set you on fire.

You fucking rock, man.

I think it's fucking AWESOME that the #mefi trolls have decided to shit all over my Mom. Wonderful. Congrats to Quonsar and Dreamghost.

The funniest thing AR has ever said. Ever.

Thank you, quonsar, for making me.

You know, I bet fucking your girlfriend's sister happens, like, all the time. Every 18 or 19 seconds. Maybe it's happening right now.
posted by kmellis 23 November | 03:27
If people want to pull antics, do it somewhere else (chat, metachat, whatever).

Go back out to the backyard and poke shit with a stick or something and leave us out of it. And close the damned door, you're bothering the dog.
posted by Hugh Janus 23 November | 08:26
PEEG AND LAZYVILLE ARE BOTH EUROPEAN

COINCIDENCE???
posted by Wedge 23 November | 13:01
The funniest thing AR has ever said. Ever.

I didn't say that.
posted by AlexReynolds 24 November | 15:12
Turking: No, it's not what you think it is! || STOP ME. PLEASE STOP ME.

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