MetaChat - Doggone It.

My two year old adores her. Every time she's on television, he runs up and kisses the screen.

posted by FunkyHelix 20 November | 10:25

My friend and his 4 year old son are both big Rachel Ray fans. Rachel rates just below Sponge Bob on the boy's list. Has Food Network finally tapped into the elusive pre-K demographic?

posted by Slack-a-gogo 20 November | 10:51

That tease; that vixen. Why does she toy with my affections so? She told me he was her "sous-chef," which apparently means "beefsteak on the side." Well, I'll always remember our nights of sammiches, stoup, and smashed potatoes: all smothered in l-o-v-e.

posted by Uncle Glendinning 20 November | 10:56

Well, dosen't she remind you of the cute babysitter who used to play-flirt with you? I think that's why she appeals so strongly to some people and repels others so strongly. She may be married but she's still my TV girlfriend.

I'm not a gigantic fan of her cooking show, but I love the $40 a day show since it's all about appreciating cheap grub, something I love to do.

I think the people who hate Racheal must dig that skinny Italian woman who gives me hives. I also find Emeril annoying even though he's done the world a service by making cooking seem macho. But I prefer Bobby Flay. Paula Deen I love as well, since she makes nice rich buttery eats. Alton Brown and Anthony Bourdain are guys I'd like to hang out with, too.

This concludes jonmc's opinions of Food celebrities.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 10:57

I'm bereft that most of these people are entirely unknown to me.

But I have seen Jamie Oliver's shows! Does that count for anything? (Oh, and I used to eat at Emeril's restaurant before he became a media star. Woot?)

posted by taz 20 November | 11:06

maybe not Alton Brown... Now that I think of it, I think I have a cookbook by him.

posted by taz 20 November | 11:09

Alton Brown and Anthony Bourdain are guys I'd like to hang out with, too.

I'm with you in both camps. Although I'd have to make sure I wasn't driving with Bourdain, becasue the man likes to drink. And I like that in a food celebrity.

Well, dosen't she remind you of the cute babysitter who used to play-flirt with you?

Bingo! THAT'S the charm. I have a love-hate thing with her though. She's nice on the eyes, but she doesn't seem like somebody I'd want to be stuck with for too long.

And Emeril has done some great things with food, but he bugs the crap out of me and I just can't watch him. Which sucks because he seems to be on tv ALL THE TIME!!! And Flay is just a knucklehead.

Mrs. Slack is sweet on Tyler Florence. Tyler and Alton are the two that I seem to have learned the most about cooking from.

Mark Bitman (author of the best all purpose cookbook - How to Cook Everything) has a good cooking show. I think it's syndicated on PBS. I haven't been able to find in a while.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 20 November | 11:10

Well, taz, Jamie is sort of the equivalent of Rachel ray for the chicks, in that his popularity rests at least somewhat in sex appeal.

Alton Brown's appeal comes from his freindly likable nerd personality. paula Deen is like the southern version of your ethnic grandma who always overfed you. Bourdain is like a juvenile delinquent gourmand, and Bobby Flay is just..well, he grills up some delicious looking stuff and seems like he'd be a fun guy to drink with.

Bingo! THAT'S the charm. I have a love-hate thing with her though. She's nice on the eyes, but she doesn't seem like somebody I'd want to be stuck with for too long.

Not me. I'd gladly be her boytoy, manslave or sous-chef. She appeals to the girl-next-door lover in me. The giggly goofiness just adds to it somehow. I know it annoys some folks but it makes me melt, which is odd coming from mr drunken rock and roller, but she hits me right in the wholesome ness center.

Which sucks because he seems to be on tv ALL THE TIME!!!

Ha! We were living in Florida during the Food Network's infancy and he was on even more back then. Whenever I switched the channel on, there he was bamming and kicking up notches and shit. Pips would throw up her hands and yell "When does this man sleep?!"

I also have a weakness for Unwrapped. But the host is likable but a litle spooky. I heard he wrote a book about overcoming OCD. That would explain a lot (caveat: I have a little OCD myself, so I must be tuning in on his brainwaves)

posted by jonmc 20 November | 11:16

Ming Sai's show on Food Network was cool, but I stopped watching it. Once he'd get harried over not having enough time to complete a meal, he'd say, "c'mon, guys, this isn't that tough", like I'm the one dragging the spatula.

As far as women are concerned, I know she's not real, but Betty Crocker is HAWT!

posted by Smart Dalek 20 November | 11:26

I also have a weakness for Unwrapped. But the host is likable but a litle spooky. I heard he wrote a book about overcoming OCD. That would explain a lot (caveat: I have a little OCD myself, so I must be tuning in on his brainwaves)

You mean Marc Summers, right? My childhood hero, master of ceremonies at Double Dare.

I agree with your informal ranking of Food Network celebrities. I am very wary of the skinny Italian girl. I hate when she smells food. I don't like the way her show is shot anyway.

posted by Uncle Glendinning 20 November | 11:26

Well, taz, Jamie is sort of the equivalent of Rachel ray for the chicks, in that his popularity rests at least somewhat in sex appeal.

*giggles*

Actually,I was wholly convinced he was gay for the longest time. (Still not entirely, totally convinced he isn't.) So it's not sexual for me, but I do like his open, seemingly friendly style.

posted by taz 20 November | 11:28

I saw Rachel Ray for the first time on TV last weekend. The ladies were discussing the merits of her cooking and I mentioned that she was strangely hot, and was informed that this is the general male reaction. Was also informed that men regularly come into the bookstore to buy her cookbooks.

posted by selfnoise 20 November | 11:39

If she ever did a signing in NYC, I'd probably have to not attend since I'd be too tempted to sit on her lap and have her rustle my hair for hours.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 11:41

You really are joking, right? Seriously, you guys aren't like, really falling in love with cute girls on TV, are you? Because that would totally suck.

I still think my husband is hotter than all supposed "hunks" on TV or film... although I can't imagine how he could see all the beautiful, perfect multimedia women and still regard me as attractive. He does, though... it seems.

Or maybe he's just pretending.

I seriously don't know.

posted by taz 20 November | 12:15

Seriously, you guys aren't like, really falling in love with cute girls on TV, are you? Because that would totally suck.

We get crushes is all. It's part of having a functioning male libido. I'm sure mr taz has the occasional stirrings about a girl in a Pennzoil ad or a cute checkout clerk. Dosen't mean we love our SO's any less. It's just how we're built.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 12:18

Celeb chefs that iconomy finds very hot:

That yummy Asian guy with the sexy voice. Yes, I've forgotten his name. Again.
Jamie Oliver.

This concludes the list of celeb chefs that iconomy finds hot.

posted by iconomy 20 November | 12:21

I'm sure mr taz has the occasional stirrings about a girl in a Pennzoil ad or a cute checkout clerk.

Okay, that's it. I'm totally kicking mr. taz's butt out the house.

posted by taz 20 November | 12:31

The chairman on Iron Chef America is pretty hot too, even though he's really just a bad actor. But still, he's so cute!

posted by mudpuppie 20 November | 14:57

Am I the only one who watches cooking shows to pick up new techniques? Give me Jaques Pepin over just about anyone on the Food Network any day of the week. I learned more about cooking by watching his various PBS series' than I have from any of the food industry jobs I've held over the years. Julia Child, too, for that matter.

Food Network programming seems to be mostly about entertainment rather then actual cooking. The shows revolve around the personality of the presenter. Yeah, Racheal Ray is cute, but her recipes aren't very interesting. Giada de Laurentis' show seems to about her cleavage as much as her cooking (and what is up with the marionette-like head?) but at least there's some good food happening there. Ina Garten is very good, as is Alton Brown (although he only seems to be aired while I'm at work). And Emeril... I'm told he's a good chef, but anybody's who's cooking for a live studio audience is playing for the house rather than teaching anything. He's moved into self-parody, same as Paula Deen.

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with entertainment - Iron Chef is generally a hoot - but personally I'd rather see more emphasis on the how-to end of things.

posted by bmarkey 20 November | 15:15

all of you can suck it: the one true goddess of TV cookery is nigella lawson. BLAU! that hot cooking show host booty is just like, out there. it's not exactly appropriate, but i will still say: suck it, haters. because it's thematically spot on. basically what i'm getting at is, if you don't agree with me, you are wrong. you're probably wrong a lot, actually.

i submit two facts:

1.nigella lawson is the hottest woman who ever lived.

2.nigella lawson has a voice that sounds exactly like my mother's.

i am terrified of that last fact.

posted by sam 20 November | 16:43

Pheh. That Lawson broad needs to stop making sandwiches and start eating them. Too skinny.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 16:49

I remember the time when the only thing Nigella Lawson was known for was being the strangely named daughter of politician Nigel Lawson. Now she seems to attract thousands of column inches (steady on chaps!) just by doing unexceptional things.

There's this Irish cook who's on Saturday mornings and while she doesn't look exceptional she has the most gorgeous voice. I'd eat her cheesecake anytime.

posted by dodgygeezer 20 November | 17:12

really?

wait, really? usually she gets called 'rubenesque' or some other bushwa by the celebrity-media. something about how men find her ess-ee-ecks-ecks-why because she's got hips and curves and.... THINGS.

i don't have the television no more. did she get scrawny on me without me knowing? the shows were definitely using the same sort of inconography as porn -- the fetishizations were somehow similar. her sneaking down at night in her sensible but somehow intriguing nightgowns to steal chocolate infused turkey gelato or whatever from the freezer. all the shots of the fruit and meat and hands and.... you know.
the porn imagery.
you know.
you've seen porn.

it's pretty awesome. the cooking show, i mean.

posted by sam 20 November | 17:15

nigella lawson was part, if only tangentially, of the dangerous sports club. cf, and shit.

posted by sam 20 November | 17:17

wait, really? usually she gets called 'rubenesque' or some other bushwa by the celebrity-media.

that's because anybody with a noticeable ass or boobs gets called that these days by media morons used to stickfigure girls.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 17:26

i'm just saying she's a much more curvaceous lady than rachel ray. lookit:

mine, vs
yours.

FATALITY!!!!!1one seriously nigella lawson. HAWT. bgut whatever floats yr. boat.

posted by sam 20 November | 17:29

i think i take this way too seriously. sorry for multi posts. i'll shut up proper now.

posted by sam 20 November | 17:30

Rachel's still cuter. It's a psychological thing. Nigella is the pretty girl who knew it and teased everbody. Rachel is the girl next door who didn't realize how hot she actually was. That makes a big difference. Plus she has those adorable dimples.

i think i take this way too seriously.

There is nothing more serious than pretty girls.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 17:57

Iron Chef Morimoto is hawt. That is all.

posted by matildaben 20 November | 18:30

My own take on cooking show personalities:

Rachel Ray: It took me a while to figure out why she gets so badly on my nerves, and then I realized -- it's the giggle. She needs to stop the hell giggling. Otherwise I have no particular beef with her, and rather enjoy those (not infrequent) shows where she appears to have been imbibing freely just before the cameras roll.

Alton Brown: Seems himself to be a very knowledgeable and articulate guy, but I wish to god he'd lose all the cutesy-whimsical stuff with which he clutters his show. It's like--it's like the cooking show equivalent of Prairie Home Companion, is what it is, and it gives me a pain.

Jamie Oliver: Love him to pieces. The gleeful energy, the ebullient cheer, the tumultuous scattershot flow of verbiage, the utterly unabashed embracing of his Inner Dork--he is such. A. Sweetie. I miss him.

posted by kat allison 20 November | 18:58

OK. What have we learned?

Girls hate Rachel. Guys love her.

The genders are split on Alton Brown.

Iron Chef is cool.

Boobies are nice.

posted by jonmc 20 November | 20:40

Racheal Ray's shows kinda bug me, and i like the skinny italian lady. Skinny Italian lady can really cook, while just looking at racheal ray's food make's my stomach hurt. On $40 a day, Racheal Ray basically just sheists the waiters to save dough. Believe me, I'm cheap foods #1 fan (I believe the term is chowhound), but cheaping out on the tip is totally rude.
I can't stand Emeril.

posted by Edible Energy 20 November | 21:39

what are you, gay or something?

Don't insult my TV girlfriend, dude. ;>

posted by jonmc 20 November | 21:41

So, while I watch cooking shows and fantasize about how the food tastes, y'all are fantasizing about how the host tastes.

Huh.

Well, OK. Let's see. Rachael Ray is out, right off the bat. Sorry, jon, but if I had to spend the day in the kitchen with her I'd end up braining her with a skillet. That gal needs to perk down several notches.

Uh... I guess I'd have to go with Cat Cora, from Iron Chef America. Easy on the eyes, can actually cook, and seems like she'd be fun to have a beer or six with.

Oh, and Science Girl ratifies the Jamie Oliver vote. She thinks he's cute and likes his enthusiasm for showing people how to cook. Coming in second is the somewhat metrosexual Michael Chiarello.

posted by bmarkey 20 November | 22:41

That gal needs to perk down several notches.

bmarkey, my homie, my ace, don't you remeber that cute perky girl in 10th grade english? Didn't you fantasize about deflowering her and making her rhapsodize about your unit? turning her into a monosylabic sex beastess?

You diggin' me now, brother?

posted by jonmc 20 November | 22:52

Hey, rachael ray can cook, but she's definitely not a professional chef. She's good at what she does, I'm just not all that into what she does. My girfriend loves her (but not really her cooking). Interesting role reversal. Well not that interesting.

posted by Edible Energy 20 November | 22:53

Honestly, jon, I've always found intense perkiness to be the anti-aphrodisiac. The cheerleader thing just ain't my happy place. I like my women like I like my beer - dark, strong, and bitter.

posted by bmarkey 21 November | 00:29

huh well me i like my women like i like my coffee: thrown in a burlap sack and carried off on a colombian donkey.

posted by sam 21 November | 01:22

Mrs. Stuporstar has a thing for Malto Mario, which I completely don't get.

posted by danostuporstar 21 November | 11:07

20 November 2005