This diagram ought to help with the installation:
≡ Click to see image ≡

I just consulted my magic 8 ball and it said "He will be fine with the installation of the ubuntu. Tell him to proceed with confidence", which is really weird, because I've never seen that message before, and the crazy part is that it all fit on that tiny little triangle. Good luck, quons! You're a braver man than I.

It's too soon after baseball season; I can't look at "ubuntu" without adding "third base".

I don't know.

Third base!!!

Oh, good luck, quonsar. You have no idea how many times I have considered switching to linux and ultimately rejected the idea out of fear. Damn this unhealthy dependence on Windows!

Hugh's diagram can only be used in conjunction with this one:

≡ Click to see image ≡

No no use this diagram ≡ Click to see image ≡

Nice one, quonsar! Ubuntu's pretty nice - I've seen no reason to use Windows (or Mac, or anything else) for several years, with the single exception of games. These days that's taken care of as well, with Transgaming's Cedega.

Linux on the desktop's certainly a different experience from proprietary systems - you do your hair-tearing-out getting it set up, instead of when you're trying to keep it running. Once it's going, it just keeps on going and stays out of your way.

Admit it: You just wanted to type "ubuntu".

My name is Mr UBUNTU LINUX, senior manager with Union Bank of Nigeria PLC...

I have the immediate need to transfer money that has been declared UNCLAIMED BY THE CHAIRMAN AND SOME MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF THE BANK. The money is the closing balance of one of our best customers ever, late Engr. CRAIG NICHOLAS. I was his personal account officer just before he died in the ADC plane crash of 1996 in Nigeria.